LOTR: Fellowship… Put Tom Bombadil into the story…
LOTR: Two Towers Get rid of that stupid scene where Legalos grabs a sheild and uses it as a skate/snowboard down the steps while shooting arrows…
Moonstruck re-cast Cher’s character with anyone else than her
Criminal I would lengthen the ending a bit. All of the characters in the end scene were in the movie previously, but it is difficult to remember each of them unless you replay the final few minutes over and over.
Your take on the movie was quite interesting but you lost me with this comment.
At the end of Who goes there? by John Campbell, the humans, through courage and logic
destroy all of the aliens and aquire atomic power and anti-gravity.
Where or how does the story imply that the heroes’ efforts were in vain?
I feel silly putting a spoiler box around a story copyrighted in 1938
Have you read Tom Bombadil recently? I don’t have as much hate for the poetry as other fans seem to, but it’s still a pretty long, pointless, random diversion from the main plot. It would just make the movie even longer and wear down everybody’s patience.
Two Towers: What? Come on, that Back to the Future gag is one of the best in-jokes ever! 
Lies! Heretic! Blasphemy! How dare you defame Danny Elfman! 
Well, start the movie with Pearl Harbor and end it with Doolittle’s raid. It’d be a shame to lose Jon Voight’s turn as FDR. The romantic subplot, I’d dump in a heartbeat.
LOTR ROTK - delete the Skywalker destroying ATAT by climbing up a cable and tossing a grenade inside scene…oh…whoops…I meant delete Legolas destroying a Olliphant bu climbing up a cable…Jackson should be flogged for that one.
Willow - have the brownies eaten at the earliest convience, the cat in the tavern can do, Willow can do it, Mardigan can do it, just shut them up please!
Star Trek the Motion Picture - shave about an hour off the watching the Enterprise float through the alien ship
Big Trouble in Little China - Jack Burton stays around and bangs Kim Cattrall’s character
Starship Troopers - too much to fix with only one change, so just add about fifteen minutes of Dizzy topless, or heck they butcherd the book so bad we may need some full frontal Dizzy as well, won’t fix it, but sure as hell will increase it’s rental numbers on Netflix
Zeffirelli’s** Hamlet** (starring Mel Gibson) was an abomination. Language totally butchered and rearranged. Major characters [e.g. Fortinbras missing] or truncated and every soliloquies except of course “To be or not to be…” were cut or abbreviated.
Add an hour and do it right or call it Prince of Denmark inspired by a tale by Wm. Shakespeare.
In Sleepers - they get away with murder and then the epilogue tells us almost every single one of them is dead. That was totally manipulative and unnecessary. Just end the freakin movie and in epilogue say we all see each other from time to time or we can’t face each other and lost touch – either is better than : “and off camera everyone but me died soon after”
Return of the Jedi. Lose the Ewok song. 'nuff said.
Murder at 1600 there is an (unguarded) storm drain/emergency exit across from the White House that Secret Service agents know about that allows the characters to sneak into the WhiteHouse. Almost any other way of sneaking into the White House (for instance: sitting in the cradle of a catapult and having friends cut the rope, parachuting with a giant fan attached, hiding in a clown car when Ringling Bros. visits, digging a Hogan Heroes style tunnel) I mean almost anything would have made my eye roll less and allowed me to enjoy Diane Lane and watch Snipes kick a$$. The way it went down was just too over the top and silly.
IIRC, The story ends with an image of a seagull flying away …
Evil Captor, I had to pull out my copy of the story and double check but
[spoiler]The humans had just finished detecting and destroying the aliens at the main camp. Then they remember Blair who they had locked in a remote shed because they thought the circumstances had driven him mad.
On the way to the shed, they see an albatross, “The first of the season” and shoot at it, chasing it away. Then they proceed to the shed and have their confrontation with Blair, who is the one remaining alien, and prevail.
The first line of the last paragraph of the story is:
“No, by the grace of God, who evidently does hear very well, even down here, and the margin of half an hour, we keep our world, and the planets of the system too.”[/spoiler]
From what I remember, Campbell was big on people prevailing through courage and intelligence.
[/hijack] My apologies.
Once Upon a Time in the West: Show Fonda get killed as normal, but when the camera pans away from his body, reveal Harmonica dead on the ground as well.
<B>Heat</B>Two things, but either one by itself would vastly improve the movie.
Lose Natalie Portman’s character and subplot completely.
At the end, Robert DeNiro’s character escapes. A main point of the movie was that DeNiro was successful because he stayed true to his code of walking away if he felt the heat around the corner. Pacino asks him point blank if he’ll do that to his girlfriend, and DeNiro agrees without hesitation. A stronger ending would have shown Pacino and DeNiro spotting each other in the crowd as DeNiro approached his girlfriend in the car, and DeNiro dissolving quickly and quietly into the confusion. Fade to black, maybe have a voiceover of DeNero and Pacino talking about the code, roll credits. Do NOT tack on a ridiculous, tedious foot chase across the runway of the airport where the characters have a final confrontation that undermines the emotional climax of the movie…
EZ
Harry Potter and the Prisonner of Azkaban: Please include a scene that actually explains why Sirius escaped from the prison and is constantly shadowing Harry. The book explains it very neatly. The movie leaves plot holes so big a flock of dementors could fly through them.
LOTR: ROTK: Lose the repetitive fade-outs / fade-ins at the end. Get on with it already!
Team America: Do we really need a vomit scene *that *long?