AudreyK: Yes, it’s definitely possible that he told them to come in whenever they like, and it’s also possible, I suppose, that he’s speaking with them on the phone or online just before they come over, so it might not be “unannounced” per se. However, after the second or third time his friend did it, I asked him to stop, and my roommate was here, so I assumed he’d tell all his other friends not to barge in too.
I fully concede that it may be that this is no more prevalent among Asians (or a particular culture in Asia) than it is among any other culture and that these people are just being rude. It just seemed like the habit was pretty ingrained (i.e. they did it almost without thinking, then remembered they weren’t supposed to), so I thought it might have to do with their culture.
It seems that, while there may be no exact cultural trait of opening doors unannounced, perhaps to some cultures in Asia it doesn’t carry quite the personal space violations that it does to me.
It’s also very common in Japanese culture, at least, to knock politely (they tend to use the back of their hand, not a fist like Americans tend to) and open the door with an apologetic word (shitsurei shimasu) to see if you’re there.
I try to do everything politely, and always knock, the first time, at least, with the back of my hand. In this way, the palm of my hand is kept clean for touching people on the head.
Well, I once went to a camera-repair place that didn’t really have a store-front per se; it was on the second floor of the building, and there were a bunch of offices there off what looked just like an apartment building hall. So I found the right door, knocked, and then tried the handle (it was unlocked). The camera-repair guy then asked me if I was European, because in the five years he’d been there, I was the third person to knock, and the previous two had been europeans. And then he didn’t charge me for the repairs.
So I guess we can conclude that entering without knocking is a North American cultural thing, too.
Maybe you are right but I think that maybe these things have to be taken in context. On one of my earlier trips to Thailand, I thought that not touching people on the head was really a hard and fast rule for etiquette but I remember watching my Thai and very Buddhist girlfriend rub this little shaven boy’s on the head as he walked past her on the street. Now the little boy was not someone she knew and I remember thinking (having committed so many faux pas’ before myself) that maybe it was cool to do in context, say if it is a child and it is done in a friendly, sanuk (fun) manner.
I am pretty sure that the same principles of the head and feet apply across Buddhism but I am more than willing to admit that that is just my guess and it might just apply to Theravada Buddhists or it might even be some meld of Thai culture and Buddhism.
In other words, I don’t know and I really never had much to contribute to this discussion in the first place.
