Yeah, my cellmates make fun of me all day because of my outbursts and chortles.
I got two words for you:
** Phantom Shitter **
This arcane naval term regales the days on the high seas trying to shower in a dingy stench ridden head strewn with waterlogged toliet paper and discovering that some Sailor of unsound mind has deposited his means of revenge for some unknown slight onto and into the rubber matting on the deck.
A dischargeable offense to be sure.
No shipmate is ever quite so hated as a Phantom Shitter exposed.
I read this and thought of you all:
From www.lileks.com (specifically from the 12/18 Bleat)
Marine Base, Camp Pendleton, sometime in the early 60s. Our platoon had just returned to our billets from some field exercise or something, and most of us wanted to avail ourselves of the heads (That’s toilets to you civillians). These were in their own quonset hut, and as we filed in there seemed to be an unusual air of awe and trepidation. As we approached one of the growlers I saw why:
In the toilet, half-submerged like a mortally wounded hippo, was the single greatest turd I had ever seen, or have ever seen since then. I have no idea who left such a prodigy, but names such as Goliath, Paul Bunyan and King Kong ran briefly through my mind. I was not the only one to stand in awe of this mighty work, as other Marines stared respectfully. Some removed their hats. The object had apparently been there for a while, as someone had affixed a hand-lettered sign above it reading, “SINK THE BISMARCK!”
Awed, we filed out as some other Marines entered with grim expressions on their faces and carrying shovels.
movingfinger, just so you know, as a general rule we ask that members not resurrect threads which are older than about three months.