It seems like everybody posting to this site has been on “not the one lusting” side. I am on the other. Let me tell you that not much hurts more than wiping your wife’s drool off the florr that some guy with a completely different kind of guy put there. I agree with mith; she deserves someone who lusts after her.
I also agree with EasyPhil, however. Is there something else that prevents lust? Is it “shallow”, as in she needs to lose 50 pounds, is it just not there, or is it something about the relationship? (I am not a bad looking guy. Plenty of people have told me I remind them of Clint Eastwood. My wife, however, wants more of a Stallone.) And, be honest with yourself. Is there something in you that seeks a “safe”, i.e., platonic relationship?