As I pass gracelessly and resentfully into middle age, my eyesight fades, my reflexes slow, my physical potential crumbles. My intellect weakens, my patience wears thin, my hearing dims…
Where was I?
Oh, yes, Cruise Control, the world’s most proven and reliable theraputic device for “Midlife” (and beyond to downright dangerous) years.
The benefits are astounding:
- Makes navigation more accurate.
- Increases fuel efficiency.
- If set to the speed limit, allows us to remove speed traps from our list of driving worries.
- Multiplies leg crampless driving time by an order of magnitude.
- Allows dual foot tapping to music.
- Allows one to be more harshly judgemental about the erratic speeds of others.
Yes, cruise control is to me now, what a walker WILL be to me in another 30 years.
I LOVE my cruise control!! And unlike one of my weirder friends who will only use it on the highway, I use it everywhere! The road leading to my development has a 25MPH limit - it’s too easy to speed thru there, and I got nailed once to the tune of $78 for a ticket. Now I just set cruise at 26 when I go down that road, and life is good!
A couple of years ago, I had to drive my inlaw’s car from Virginia to Florida. No cruise. I thought I was gonna die!!!
Whoever invented Cruise Control is my hero.
Man, do I hear ya on that one!
I just drove back to New York from the GeoBill Shindig[sup]TM[/sup] in the D.C. area. My legs, butt and lower back would be in agony if I had been forced to keep continuous pressure on the accelerator for the whole bloody 4 1/2 hour drive. That’s 9 hours driving from noon Saturday till 2:30 Sunday. Almost a quarter of the time elapsed. It woulda killed me, I tellsya.
Cruise control reigns supreme.
I agree, up to a point.
At 57, I have no need to speed to show off. Driving for six hours at a constant speed and avoiding tickets and cramps is luxurious.
But, coming home through Breezwood, Pa. last weekend, we passed through a sleet storm, just as the turnpike goes up into the mountains. Without realizing it, the car started to fishtail, I probably hit my brakes lightly to remove the Cruise Control, and we did a 480…
We got lucky, spun out off the road into the pull-off lanes. No damage. In the next two miles, we counted 6 cars with major damage who had done the same and not been lucky.
All this to say, …if it’s slick, turn off your cruise control.