Your wife is probably a *good *teacher then. I’m not sure of that, though. I think a *good *teacher has logical consequences for not doing homework, like failing the student, without dragging the parents into punishment mode. If my kid breaks a teacher’s rule, it’s the teacher’s job to punish them. Mine is to back her up while remaining sympathetic to my kid and letting him know I know he can fix this mess he’s created.
Not the subject of the thread or Sam’s rant, either way. One teacher is not a system.
He’s got a point, conservative or no. There are indeed plenty of bad teachers who still believe in social promotion. There are bad parents who demand teachers promote kids who shouldn’t be, and bad teachers who cave in to that pressure. There are bad parents who don’t care if they get that phonecall despite what they say to the teacher, or who beat the crap out of their kids when they get home because that phonecall interrupted Jerry Springer.
There are bad parents who are TOO INVOLVED, too. Parents who helicopter around their children, drive missing assignments, lunches and permission slips to school, stay up late doing their children’s projects, write false notes alleging illness to get a lazy kid an excused absence and storm into the principal’s office the first time “they” get a C on a report card. These parents take all the worry and trouble away from the kids, and the kids never learn to be responsible for themselves.
It’s all about balance. Y’all know I’m a fan of Love and Logic Parenting. Guess what? It works in schools, too. That’s actually how I found out about the book - from my mother, a literally award winning sixth grade teacher, who uses it in her classroom. Teaching kids to be responsible for themselves by letting them learn from the natural consequences of their actions, means we don’t need to worry about good parents, bad parents or no parents. It’s the *kids *who are in school and the *kids *who need to be made responsible for their education. Does that mean parents shouldn’t get involved? No. It means they should involve themselves in parental things, not student things. Help build a set for the school play, organize a fundraiser, help out in the classroom, provide a time and place at home for the kid to study and the tools (pens, paper, light, a calculator, etc.) he needs to do it. But lessons and homework are between a student and a teacher, and parents need to butt out…unless they intend to be writing quarterly earnings reports for their little darling’s boss in 20 years.
Frankly, I think a “butt out” lesson would improve schools more than an “increase involvement” lessons. Most of those “involved” parents are frightening. They’re stunting their kids’ growth like you wouldn’t believe AND they’re scaring off more moderate parents. They’re involved, all right, but in all the wrong ways.
Telling the “uninvolved” parents *exactly *what we need from them, and reassuring them that not only does it not have to be academic, it’s better if it’s not, might go a long way to getting meaningful parental involvement in the schools. Jack might freeze at the idea that he’s supposed to help his kid with fractions and never show his face at school again. Instead we should say, “Oh, no. Jack Jr’s math homework is *his *work, not yours. But studies show that if Jack Jr. sees you at the school, he’s more likely to be interested in his school work and he may get better grades. Would you come help hang banners for the Pep Rally next Monday?” Jack can breathe a sigh of relief. No fractions in hanging banners. He can do that, and help his kid, and his kid’s school…and maybe even feel good about himself doing it.