This is obviously inspired by the case in North Dakota. However, it’s also it’s also of interest because I was in the grocery store last week and a very creepy person was following me to the extent that I opted for bag-boy-to-car service despite two bags of food. (It was one of those things that at the time, I thought I was being paranoid…after thinking about it, I should have reported the guy to someone in the store).
Anyway, I believe it’s my thinking that if someone tried to abduct me with a weapon, they would have to kill me in the parking lot before I would go with them. Who knows if that’s how I’d really react, but I think I’ve done enough pondering to firmly believe that I have more of a chance if I resisted during the actual abduction.
Of course, there is no right answer to this, but is there a general feeling about the “right” way to handle something so horrific?
I would like to think that’s what I’d do. Who knows, though. I’m pretty sure I’d scream and run. I tend to be a scream-and-runner in less important things, so I would think that would automatically carry over.
They would have to kill me on the spot or knock me out and drag me into their car. No way I would get into a car with someone for them to take me off and do God only knows what for hour upon hour. At least if I were left in a parking lot to die I would have a chance medical help or passersby might get to me and I might be saved.
My mother used to freak me out as a child because before we got out of our car in the mall parking lot she would always say, “If anyone ever grabs me you run like hell and don’t look back no matter what you hear.” I would constantly be watching people as we walked in just waiting to see if I needed to break into a run.
I was taught as a child that if I needed to yell for help, that I should yell “FIRE!” rather than “HELP!”. People are more apt to take notice if you yelled “FIRE!”
I just had a weird vision of myself in that situation. I didn’t scream and run, I just turned around and walked calmly away. God help me if thats how I really would react…
I have heard that many times before too, but I wonder how true it is. I personally would notice someone yelling help just as much as I would notice fire.
Personally, I am going to stick with the old standby “You are not my Daddy”
Not to hijack my own thread, but another strange thing happened last night (the other would be weird creepy grocery store man).
I was home alone and ordered a pizza. The place usually has delivery “boys” but this was a man and he gave me the creeps. (It’s a mom and pop joint kind of in the boonies). I guess he could see our Spanish tile through the window (but you really have to peer in because we have shades on the front door). He just kept commenting on how great the tile looked and asked me what I used on it. (this was in like the space of a minute). First of all, it doesn’t look that great and I use Pine-Sol. I just had the feeling that he was trying to get me to open up the door more and invite him in or something to look at my great floor.
I just told him I use Pine-Sol and thanked him and shut the door.
Now, this kind of experience throws me. I am not usually paranoid about people. In fact, this and grocery store thing are the only two times where I have had a creep factor in probably years. I actually thought of calling the pizza place but I just felt so stupid “he gave me a creepy feeling and he liked my floor.”
Do people “report” this kind of stuff? Is it irresponsible not to?
I have no idea if this is good advice, but (in addition to the usual stranger danger stuff about not going near to a stranger’s car, ‘nice adults never ask children for help’ and ‘run to a crowded place’), I have told my children:
If a stranger grabs you, shout, scream and struggle to get away, shout "this is not my daddy!’.
If a stranger grabs you, it is OK to hurt them by scratching, pulling hair, biting, poking eyes and hitting/kicking in the genital region.
Of course, these behaviours may not be effective and may only enrage the potential abductor to the point of violence, but I feel that, in the face of abduction and likely death, the best idea is to wholly resist abduction.
I guess I have always assumed that abductions happen because the kidnapper either overpowers you into the car, or incapacitates you but doesn’t kill you.
I remember once reading in a magazine that if you get abducted if you constantly talk about how much trouble you’re going to get into you have a better chance of being let go. It always stuck in my head because it sounds so absurd. “My dad is going to kill me, my dad is going to kill me, you don’t understand how strict he is.” I have no idea if it’s true but the article said it gives the kidnapper an out, like, if they have any second thoughts at all, and it makes you seem human to them, denial about what’s happening, acting as if they have a choice to let you go if they really wanted to instead of re-inforcing the whole fantasy. I dunno, I can’t picture it but it always stayed in my head and I bet I would try it.
This is really interesting. I wonder if abducters expect (and want) a certain reaction and if they are thrown for a loop if they don’t get it. I run a lot where I live and am always aware of my surroundings, etc. I remember right after 9/11, I was thinking that if anyone tried to yank me in a car mid-stride, I would tell them that they weren’t being patriotic. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I actually thought that might be a good thing to say.
My mother always taught me to tell the would-be abducter “You’re going to kill me here, because there is no way I am driving you somewhere where you will rape and torture me for hours on end.”
She also taught me that if I’m ever carjacked to crash the car. If I’m driving, hurl the car into a tree. If the bad guy is driving, try to grab the steering wheel or disable him so he can’t drive. Better to die in a car crash than in the scenario mentioned above.
Normally I don’t pay attention to mass emails, but I just received one with some tips I thought were good. Here are a couple of them:
If you are put in the trunk of a car, try to kick out one of the rear lights and stick your arm our. The abductor won’t see this, but other motorists will.
If a van parks right beside the drivers side door. Avoid using that side or wait till there are other people around. This email said abductions can occur when someone is trying to open their door and somebody pulls them into a van.
Run, scream, fight like a wildcat. No way am I getting into any car.
Of course, the best offense is a good defense. Keep alert and always know what’s going on around you. When I’m walking through a parking lot, I’m always looking all around, keeping tabs on the other people in the area. If someone looks suspicious, I look them straight in the eye. There have been a couple of times that I am sure this tactic kept me from being harassed and/or mugged. Most attackers want an easy mark. If you look like you know what you’re doing, like you’d put up a fight, you’re more likely to be left alone.
People who wear headphones and listen to music while walking down the street make me nervous for this reason.
