The liquor in question is beer rather than wine, but it boils down to the same thing: How much stock do you put in the things that your friends say to you when they’re drunk? Or, how much does alcohol really loosen up your lips to the point of you blurting out the thoughts in your head?
I have a good friend… let’s call him Andy. We work for the same company, in fact used to work for the same unit until he transferred to another city a couple years back. I know his wife and kids really well, and consider his wife a friend too.
Andy still comes back to my office for work reasons on a regular basis. When he’s in town, a few of us usually make the point of going out for dinner and/or drinks. Andy is a bit of a lightweight when it comes to the booze. Depending on the crowd and the circumstances, after a few beers he sometimes reveals things about his relationship with his wife that are a little… personal. (Ex.: Andy once told us that he had to get home by the weekend because they were trying for another child and he was needed for “stud services” - meant to be a joke about himself, but not your usual dinner convo! After the baby came talk of not getting any. :smack: ) Sometimes, especially if the two of us wind up in a quiet corner of the bar, he’ll get all sentimental and tell me how much my friendship means to him, and he can’t imagine not being friends for the rest of our lives. Other times, he’ll start asking me questions about old boyfriends (he knew a couple of them), crack some off-color jokes about my presumed bedroom activities, or tell me I’m looking fine that evening - stuff he would NEVER say if he were sober.
Now, I know he really adores his wife and kids, and he’s never actually tried anything on me when he’s drunk. I’m not sure he even remembers the details of all the things he says. But my other friends just generally say ridiculous crap that’s only worthy of being laughed at, so I’m never quite sure how to take these pronouncements.
Guys in particular - do you think Andy is just engaging in harmless random babbling, or is there something at the core of what he says that I should… I dunno, be watchful for?
Yeah, he’s just babbling. There’s probably more than a hint of truth in what he’s saying, but not something you should really be worried about. I myself am famous for professing my undying love for a good number of young ladies who all, thankfully, took it pretty much in stride.
It’s an odd thing. When I’m basically pissed as a newt, totally off my head and flyin’ as a result of some serious over-indulgence in the gift of Bacchus – I can tend to say things that are fairly deep from out of my soul, as it were. And they’re true, because I remember 'em the next day.
But … professions of love from those who’ve over-imbibed … ah, I’ve had a few of those said to me. And they are all crap. I’ll believe some things, therefore, but certainly not the “I love you” bit when the liquor’s been flowing.
Funny thing. Right now I’m reading a book about history of brainwashing, and there is a chapter about truth serum. Among other things there is a detailed description of years of research by CIA and MI6 and others. After extensive testing of thousands of chemical compounds in various combination (barbiturates, pentohtal, various amphetamines etc.) they finally created kind of ranking of truth drugs. Two top entries are, in very close tie, marijuana and combination of alcohol and caffeine.
But there is a corollary. Even the best drugs on that ranking in scale from 1 to 10 achieved highest score of 2.
So, bottom line, there is some veritas in vino, but don’t take that truth too seriously.
The fact that he finds you attractive is true. The fact that he doesn’t mean to bed you is also true.
Nothing wrong with him having eyes, is there? I’ve told more than a friend of mine “your husband is looking nice today” and none of them has hit me for it!
Well, I know that when I’m drunk, I say things that I normally wouldn’t say, but I don’t say things that I don’t mean. Thing is, just because I mean it when I say it doesn’t make it true. It also doesn’t make it false, obviously. I just mean that when I’m drunk I tend to say whatever I’m feeling right at that moment, and that moment is heavily influenced by how drunk I am.
Are you at all familar with a film by the title, When Harry Met Sally? If not, there may be a copy around somewhere on Netflix or a local video store if you try hard to track one down.
Yes, your friend probably considers you attractive, no that doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to cheat on his wife.
