In which a client comments loudly on my sex life

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

8:45 am, yesterday. Brutally hot and humid already.

I meet with my first client (I am a mental health specialist, by the way)— a 40-something year old, mildly Mentally retarded women. Said client is quite bright, reads at least 2 newpapers a day, watches all kinds of TV, keeps abreast of current social and political issues.

We spend our session covering the clinical bases we should—her concerns, current symptoms, behaviors, use of coping skills, etc. A good session all around. Towards the end, she asks about my baby, as she often does. Baby is well, I say. Thank you for asking.

“Did you take your baby to daycare this morning?” Yes, I did.

“Do you play with your baby? Do you read to her? Will you take her to the beach this summer?” Yes, yes, and yes (although I dread the beach. I hate heat. I hate sand. But, I digress.)

"You are a great mom, " my client says. “If there is a Mom of the Year Award, you should win.” I smile. I feel warm and fuzzy. She continues.

“BUT!!! You have no sex life!!!” Have I mentioned that this client speaks loudly on a good day, even more so when impassioned?

I am flabbergasted. I can’t recall my sense of professional boundaries AND pick my jaw up off the floor, so I am busy doing the latter while she continues to speak LOUDLY.

“YOU-----HAVE-----NO----SEX-----LIFE!!!” I recover my composure.

“Well, Client,” I say. “I don’t think it’s really appropriate for us to discuss this.”

“But you don’t!!! You have NO sex life! YOU-----HAVE—NO—SEX—LIFE!!”

I am still blushing and sputtering, when finally she shares that she has watched a morning show which discussed how new mothers are so tired and overworked that their sex drive takes a nosedive. She challenges me, “Am I wrong? You can tell me I’m wrong!”

I can tell her she’s wrong, in which case, she thinks I’m having tons of sex. I can tell her she’s right, in which case, she thinks I’m leading the life of a nun.

I remember those professional boundaries. I end the session. I wonder how it came to this, that even the retarded clients are wondering if I’m gettin’ any.

And I still have 7 clients left to see that day.

2

Well if you would quit wearing that crotchless, PVC catsuit, maybe your sex life wouldn’t occur to us.

:smiley:

3

I thought no one took pictures at the Boston Dopefest! Damn!!

4

So, you’re the patient she was describing? :stuck_out_tongue:

Oh, and Lorene…DO wear that catsuit to the next Dopefest! :smiley:

Great story, BTW.

5

C’mon, Dave, a true lady wouldn’t be caught dead being seen twice in the same outfit.

6

Very true, Robot Arm. I guess I’ll just have to come up with something even better!

7

C’mon guys, don’t you know it’s so much easier to get baby food stains out of rubber?

Don’t pick on the poor woman, she’s not getting any, you know. Everyone knows that.

8

Wow and I missed that dopefest :frowning: I’m going to have to go to the next one if for nothing more than fashion advice :slight_smile:

Do they make maternity PVC?

:slight_smile:

9

Not even on www.onehotmama.com could I find it. Oh, well.
I’m glad we’ve moved on from my well-publicized lack of nookie to fashion tips for the next Boston Dopefest. Nurse’s unfiorm, anyone? French maid’s outfit? I do have one of those Catholic school uniform skirts.

And what will the guys wear?

10

What do you mean, “what will the guys wear?” We’re putting Davebear in the French Maid’s uniform, aren’t we?

11

Does that french maid uniform also have fishnet stockings and the little hat?

I can just picture it :slight_smile:

12

I think we’d have to link to the thread about why men shouldn’t wear thongs, though!

13

Absolutely right about men and thongs, lorene; never with fishnet stockings.

14

Uh-huh. And you know this…how? :slight_smile:
Don’t think we’re not going to come up with a good costume for you, too!

15

I am kind of confused about the OP. Is the client mildly mentally retarded, or “quite bright?”

16

Doesn’t everyone?

17

The client is mildly mentally retarded, which means that on an intelligence test, her score would be below a certain point —i.e., she might score below 70 on the Weschler test, where an ‘average’ person would score between 90 and 110. However, she is bright from the standpoint of being socially aware, well-read, high-functioning within her limits, curious, etc. It might be kind of a confusing concept, if you’re not in the field. I guess it’s like you’d say a child is bright. You don’t mean that they are smarter than the average adult, but they are bright as compared to their peers. Compared to this woman’s peers, she is quite bright.

18

She’s literally a retard. Why worry about anything she says?

19

Not to speak for Lorene but her client is literally a person with opinions and feelings and Lorene has a professional relationship with this woman. I don’t think she was ‘worried’ exactly but the abruptness of the question surprised her and she does need to maintain certain professional boundaries that her client may not understand while not being completely rude to the client at the same time.

20

Wow.
Thanks, tanookie. You hit the nail on the head.
This was supposed to be a funny story. I wasn’t worried about what this woman says, and not because she’s “literally a retard”. It was a surprising situation, but a humorous one (to me) and in the context of my day and my life, it meant something. It doesn’t have to mean jack shit to anyone else, hence it’s appearance in MPSIMS. If I wanted to know “What do other people think of retards?”, I’d have gone to IMHO. However, *Lizard, it’s pretty evident what you think.