In which cmkeller directs his first pit rant at the MTA of NYC

The BBQ Pit
1

This is an E express to the World Trade center…please do not crowd the train, there is another one right behind us. (because it took me so long to get here that the train that’s supposed to be 5 minutes behind us has caught up to us…)

Please stand clear of the closing doors (which will be closing any day now…we’re just waiting for the cool air-conditioned air to run out and be replaced by the Union Turnpike station air, which you all must have enjoyed, since you spend fifteen minutes on that platform…)

E express, next stop 71st-Continental Ave in Forest Hills… we’ll be doing you the favor of skipping 75th Ave like the F local train does. Oh, we have a red signal ahead of us. Apparently there’s “congestion.” (Never mind the fact that this is the first train that’s heading down this track in fifteen minutes, the traffic controllers have decided to make us stop here in the tunnel. Since we’re stuck here, I’ll play tour guide for you. On your right, you’ll see an F local passing us by. Aren’t you so glad you specifically chose an express train today?)

Attention, passengers. We are being held in the station due to congestion ahead of us. Thank you for your patience. (The doors cannot open into the tunnel, so there is no escape even if you would have been willing to walk through the dark tunnels through which a multi-ton train might start barrelling through at any moment. But we really do appreciate that you’ve been patient enough to not abandon this train, as if you had a choice, because if you had cut off your trip, we’d be obliged to refund you your fare…NOT! But yeah, we’re thankful that in some meaningful way, you’ve demonstrated “patience” with us.)

Lexington Avenue in Manhattan, switch for the F and 6 trains…this is a downtown 6 approaching Grand Central Station, switch for the 4 or 5 across the platform…(that would be the train that, as you’re waiting for this one to open its doors, is pulling out of the station. Even though we’ve had almost a century of experience running a train system, we’re unable to manage transfer coordination so that of the other train is already in the freaking station, you’ll be able to switch from one to the other reliably.)

5 train to Flatbush Avenue, this is Union Square. Transfer for the N, R, L, 4 and 6 local across the platform (not that the 6 local is here yet, but this time, we feel obliged to wait for the 6 train, unlike the last express train, which left the station when you were on the local and would have preferred it waited.)

Wall Street, next stop, Bowling Green. Have a nice day (easy for you to say. No matter how slow these trains go, you’re already at work)!..

…and thank you for your patience (you’d be welcome…IF I HAD ANY, you morons!). :rolleyes:

2

And now I remember why I avoid NYC. I wanted to visit there next spring, my son warned me that I wouldn’t live to tell about it.

3

Truedat, homes.

I’ll tell ya my recent war story. Two weekends ago, I was dead tired after meeting my friends in Manhattan for the day and went back to Times Square to catch the 7 train home. I sat on the 7 train for about 25 minutes, before I realized that it wasn’t moving and then they bothered to make an announcement that there was no 7 service to Queens for some reason. They tell us to take the E. I’m not very familiar with the E line, but I do know that it doesn’t go where I need to go. And I also know that it’s a fucking pain in the ass to get from the 7 platform to the E platform in the Times Square Underground Maze/Zoo. But eventually I get there. I look at the map. I see I can take the E to Jackson Heights and then pick up the 7 there, and continue my way to Flushing. This seemed like a good idea, as we had been led to believe that 7 services was working once you got to Queens.

I get to Jackson Heights, and walk up the stairs, following the signs for the 7. The platform is packed. I’m talking like the 2/3-platform-at-Times-Square-at-5:30PM-on-a-Friday-before-a-three-day-weekend-after-a-track-fire
packed. And this was at one in the morning.. I had to wait there (at least it was above ground) for another 45 minutes for the 7 train to show up.

Of course, the 7 that arrived was packed like sardines from all the other stations that had been waiting for 7 trains to show up before us. Only one third of the people on my platform were able to fit on. I had to wait two more trains before I was able to fit.

But at least I learned something. I learned that I can get home via the E to Jackson Heights.

So yesterday I again met some (different) friends in Manhattan. I walked one of them back to the Bus Terminal on 40th and 8th Avenue, and decided I didn’t want to walk all the way back to the 7; I’d just exercise my new knowledge and take the E, which was right there.

Then comes the crazy MTA woman with a megaphone (Hint: Megaphones are not good ideas in enclosed tunnels.)

No Queens-bound service on the E train!

Agggggghhhh.

4

Chaim, you might also take your rant to nycsubway.org’s “SubTalk” forum - there you have a chance of getting real info as to what the hell is going on. (Lots of TA workers post to that site.)

I do recall a recent NYTimes article in which the TA all but admitted that there are so many construction projects going on right now that even they can’t really keep track of them.

At the moment one of the major problems affecting the E train is the integration of the new link to the 63rd Street tunnel. IIRC from SubTalk, the switching west of 23rd St-Ely (which, with the 63rd St Connector on line, will be one of the most complex in the system) is using a new computer-controlled technology whose software has been buggy. That’s why the introduction of Queens Boulevard-63rd Street service was delayed from August to November. In the interim there are gobs of reroutings as the TA continues to test, and retest, and reretest the new system.

5

My fav: There is never a fire on the tracks. There is a “smoke condition,” as in “we are delayed here due to a smoke condition on the tracks.”

Actually, I’m usually a defender of our subways. It’s inexpensive (for $1.50 you can travel from the Bronx all the way to Rockaway Beach). One can easily live without a car in NYC so for every headache the Subway (or Bus) brings you are relieved of the headaches of car ownership like monthly payments, repairs, insurance, parking, etc.

Of course there has been some headaches caused by the maintenance on the Manhattan bridge. Fortunately that doesn’t affect me. But what are you going to do? The subway gets lots of wear and tear. A friend who takes the A train says it sucks. But different prople have different tolerances, I guess. My mon hates the subway and will only take the bus (that’s got to be one stressful job–NYC bus driver) but I have always liked the subway.

I, too, have to wonder about the “congestion” ahead of us when I had to wait 15 minutes for the train. I fully understand frustration with the subway. We all have our horror stories. But on a day-to-day basis, the train runs pretty well I think. Withoiut it, the city could not function.

6

King Rat, I like it too, in general, but this morning was a particularly frustrating one for me. And, as you might be able to tell from the repetition, that “Thank you for your patience” seriously grates on my nerves.

Chaim Mattis Keller

7

I avoid the Lexington Ave E-F-6 stop like the bubonic plague. Which is a major pain in the ass considering that I work on 3rd and 55th. In order to get down to the E-F platforms, you have to take one, yes, one escalator, as the other two are inevitably turned off for repairs of a dubious nature. Morning and night a mass of irritated humanity piles into the station and waits to go down the escalator, like so many chunks of meat about to be turned into sausage. So coming from the upper, upper west side, I just walk from Columbus Circle or catch the crosstown M57.

And don’t even get me started about how fucking short the downtown 6 platform is.

8

I agree with you 100%. I love the subways (usually.) I also think they’re fascinating. And considering much of the system was built 80 to 100 years ago, I find them mighty impressive.

But they piss me off on occasion. :smiley:

9

Baltimore doesnt have a decent subway; the closest is the light rail which wont run anywhere in the center of the city because of the train chemical spill.

If you dont have a car in Baltimore, you are fucked.