In Which Fenris discusses a co-worker who he would happily kill.

Note: I’m pissed, but I have NO INTENTION of committing any act of physical violence. But it’ll make me feel better to talk about.

To Typhoid Bob (name changed, just in case)

I’m going to kill you.

The “I’m just a poor, dumb jock who don’t unnerstan’ th’ big words and purdy pictures” routine that you pulled in training class to get some laughs didn’t win you any friends. The new database is confusing, but your heckling the instructors didn’t help. But that’s not the prime issue.

Last week, when the 12 of us (plus 2 instructors) were in that 4 day training seminar, you were sick as a dog. You were coughing enough that I was tempted to suggest that you cough into a hankerchief, to catch any pieces of lung that came out, you were sneezing, sniffling, shaking, sweating and kept running to the bathroom. The one day we ordered pizza, you insisted on mooching a couple of slices and then promptly threw them up.

The tiny little training room was about 15 feet on a side. We had 12 people plus 2 instructors crammed in there. There was no ventilation.

EVERYONE told you to “go home”. Everyone said they’d share notes and fill you in. The instructors said that they’d give you private tutoring to make up for the missing instruction time. I point-blank told you to leave before you give this to all of us. “No <cough>” you said “I<sneeze> feel <snnnnnfffff> fine. I’m <cough> not contagious.”

Really, Fuckhead? I’ve spent the weekend in bed shaking, vomiting, coughing, sneezing and running to the bathroom. I haven’t been able to keep solid food down and I’ve been running to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My sinuses feel like they’re filled with 10 pounds of molten lead. What a coincidence. :rolleyes:

And what’s worse, is that I HAVE to come to work today until someone else shows up to answer the phones (I work in a call center. Due to some left-over scheduling issues that I can’t control, I’m the only one on the phones in the morning this week. If I’m not there, no-one will be and the phones must be answered. The second someone else shows up, I’m outta here. And I’m planning to have someone take my shift tomorrow, just in case.)

Calling around the building, I’ve discovered something interesting. A bunch of the people in our class are either out or here, but sick and are heading home. Gosh!

There’s plenty of sick time available. You only started working here about two months ago and you couldn’t have used up all your sick time. Even if you had, the company is pretty sensible about letting people go when they’re obviously sick. You could have taken vacation or even unpaid leave.

Thanks to you, shit-for-brains, at least 5 of the 14 other people in the class are sick today (not all of 'em are scheduled to be in right now, so the other 9 are unknown).

If I thought I could get away with it, I’d beat you with a baseball bat. You knew you were sick and you had 14 people who offered to help so they didn’t catch your illness. One of the instructors who’s a wonderful lady has a 7 month old kid. She really doesn’t need to get this. But you, being the selfish prick that you are, said you’d stay. And what’s even worse is your reasoning. I heard you admitting that your reasoning for staying was that you wanted to be here for the St. Paddy’s Day Potluck on Friday so that you “can get paid to have a long lunch with free food and besides,” you told the other guy in the class that you wanted to see if a lady who works here was available and that you thought the pot-luck would be a good time to do it, you selfish fuck. To get some free food and to chat up a co-worker, you were willing to put the rest of us at risk.

Let me be clear, all kidding aside (and I’ve spoken to others in the class who agree): If you ever need help with the program we learned, if you need one of us to cover you when you go on vacation, if you need advice, etc, you’re not going to get it from me (or the others I’ve spoken to). You have made a number of enemies in the company and due to this stunt, you’re all alone.

Please, Typhoid Bob, do us all a favor and next time, rather than come to work sick, just drop dead.

Coughin’ Fenris

WHAT?!!??! somebody did something bad to you!?!?!! Remember, I have friends in [sub] low[/sub] places.
(and so as not to hijack the other thread more, [Meg Ryan Voice on] YES, YES, YES! [Meg Ryan Voice off]), I am a FOB. Am currently wearing Bugs Bunny socks, Bugs Bunny watch, and have a Bugs Bunny clock on my 'puter, as well as 6 other Buggs and friends relted items around my office)

currently both of my employees have been coughin’ and hackin’ their way through the day. I’ve sent them home, they come back the next day still coughin and hackin. If I don’t end up getting something it’ll be a miracle.

But, on the bright side, stay home, drink some soup and watch Bugs Bunny cartoons. Can’t be all bad.

Dammit, Fenris, you bastard!! :mad: You come into this thread, coughing, you already got your germs all over it when you started it, and you didn’t see fit to mention in the thread title that it was an infectious thread, and so now me and Wring gotta experience Bob’s typhoid, too. Fuck.

Geez, haven’t you got sick leave you can use? It’s not like the Straight Dope’s gonna collapse without ya, ya know… :rolleyes:

Go home. Get outta this thread, give the rest of us a break for once.

Shit.

Wring, you got any Vitamin C? I got this–tickle–in my throat, I hate it when it does that. And my Banquet Turkey Dinner with Mashed Potatoes, Stuffing, Gravy, and Fresh Garden Peas suddenly ain’t settling too well, neither…
[insert barf smilie]

I know that trying to examine this guy’s logic and thought process is like trying to determine the most aerodynamic path for bashing your head against concrete, but…

he stayed in the class so he could get an extra long lunch? Did anyone tell him that he could use the entire day as his lunch break if he just stayed home? Or that he could take the week off as sick and then come back in on Friday all well and rested, grabbing the best of both worlds? Besides, there’s really nothing any company could bring to make me want to come to work that badly.

And that girl? “uh, excuse me miss. Yes, you remember me, I was the one making all those mucussy nasal sounds and spreading my germ infected saliva in tiny particles into your hair. Oh, you remember me? Well, I was just…hold on, hccccccckkkkkk ppppttttooo. Whew, that was a good one, better save it for later. Yeah, well I was thinking you’re awfully nice and, heeeey, that’s a pretty bad cough there. Sounds like you’re coming down with something.”

::cough cough:: aaaaaaaa CHOOOO

nya, I dink I have someding like dat, it’s right by my Good N Plentys…

One good thing about my company is that they will make you go home if you are obviously sick and someone says something about being worried about catching it. Hell, I come to work bleary eyed from lack of sleep and my manager will ask me if I need to go home. I have to convince him I’m not really sick to get to stay.