Since this one is mostly looking for opinions, the responses belong in IMHO.
samclem GQ moderator
This is payback for you reading my poop threads, man.
Also, I agree about regrowth. Have fun with that.
When such discussions arise, people are surprised that I keep it mostly natural. It’s that third day. Now, I haven’t got a Mr. Peter to cry and make me limp, but I have several other bumply foldy parts that cry and cry and cry.
Have you considered super glue?
If it doesn’t make it better, at least Mr. Bean-esque hilarity will ensue, which we will all appreciate when you update your newsletter.
My scrotum did indeed heal with a quickness belying its incredible dedication to my needs. You know, I never thought about just how much thankless work my scrotum does for me. I would do anything for a friend who were so selfless and forgiving, especially considering that I haven’t necessarily treated my genitals with the utmost respect for the entirety of my postpubescent life. Let’s all take a moment to thank the scrota in our lives for their dedication, which knows no bounds.
In fact, the pain was entirely gone by the time last night’s party was winding down. My girlfriend and I were generously provided a futon near the door and right under an open window (pay attention; those are important details) on which to sleep off the night’s hard living. Since her best friend was in the same room (drifting off to dreamland on a couch about twenty feet away), we were initially resolved to be chaste for the time being. However, one thing led to another, and by the time I’d brought her to the heights of orgasmic ecstasy, we had realized that we were fully within our rights to enjoy the fruits of each others’ labor, so to speak:
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Her best friend, who had drank a lot more than us, had exposed us to more nefarious displays of her own sexuality on several occasions, including but not limited to: dry-humping my girlfriend, dry-humping the hosts, dry-humping the hosts’ roommates, dry-humping the hosts’ friends (loudly in all cases; not necessarily with consent from most of the parties involved), making impolite offers to various strangers we ran into, and attempting to join in on me and my GF’s makeout sessions. FTR, I was not opposed to that last idea, but I deferred to my GF, who was less than pleased with the concept.
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HBF really had drank a LOT, and probably would not really care.
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In fact, hadn’t she been begging us to let her watch us in flagrante delicto all night? Yes, she had. If she heard or saw something, she would probably have enjoyed it anyway.
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HBF is a real hottie and I would not have kicked her out of bed if she had decided to join us in the action. I neglected to bring this point up with either one of them, but I’m gonna go ahead and assume it was mutually understood.
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We had spent all night babysitting HBF–mostly trying to prevent her from inviting security officers to the party to fuck her, and failing to prevent her from causing minor injuries to herself in her drunken state–and we deserved a little “us time”.
So one thing led to another, and that other thing led to yet more things, and pretty soon I had equipped my troops with the proper protective gear and was leading them into battle. So to speak. The first soldier was just about to hit the beachhead when I saw a shadow pass by the window above us. “Oh shit!”, I thought; then I thought, “probably someone walking to another apartment”. Preparing once more to march my army toward victory, I was shocked upon hearing the jangle of keys, awed upon hearing the click of a nearby lock and terrified at the sudden realization that someone was about to see all of my razor handiwork and everything in my girlfriend’s “Members Only” area. I quickly withdrew my forces, hit the deck and mostly covered us up in the split second before our gracious host’s roommate arrived.
We thought we were safe when he made his best effort not to notice that two people looked to be frozen in mid-hump on his futon, and walked down the hall to his room to put on some classic rock. While the Joint Chiefs of Staff deliberated on whether to carry on with the mission, he decided to pop out of his room and leisurely stroll to the kitchen (from which the futon was in full view) for a glass of juice. I realized with a deep sigh and a certain softening that it was simply not meant to be. Thus, I have yet to enjoy the fruits of my labor.
Speaking of which, I can’t say for certain just which fruit gave its nectar for that man’s drink. But if I ever find out, that fruit will be dead to me.
I think regrowth is really the only important factor in body-shaving decisions, especially of particularly sensitive areas. My husband shaved part of his chest for his Captain Kirk costume last Halloween, and I think he stopped scratching the re-growth some time last week. Ask him to shave his bits? Never, ever happen (the asking or the shaving). I think he’d have to be sedated for the re-growth for weeks.
Beware: Itchiness will ensue! :eek:
“But if I ever find out, that fruit will be dead to me.”
Another $14.95 worth.
Hijack: It sounds like your girlfriend’s best friend is both hot and easy. If the foregoing is a true and correct summary of the facts at hand, would you be so kind as to hook a brother up?
Please?
Well, I already subscribe to Shaved Scrotum Quarterly and Tennis With Hairless Balls, but I appreciate the offer.
FTR, I still haven’t completely shaved anything. It’s all just trimmed down to microhair status.
Well, there was a little bit of the “main course” that was completely shaved, but it’s now officially the Third Day if my preliminary count is correct, and there is no itchiness.
Knock on wood.
So to speak.
Sure, but if I were you, I would bring a bottle of rum and a couple of condoms. The latter because she’s been known to forget to take her birth control pills for four or five days in a row, and then “make up for it” by taking a pill and a half. In fact, she’s quite concerned that she may be pregnant now. As for the rum, don’t expect to keep your hands on the bottle for more than a shot or two.
golf clap
In which I learn the importance of patience but Need Answer Fast. TMI!
I have nothing of use to add, never having nicked any scrota and, also, having been tremendously fortunate with my own razor-related hair-removal escapades, but I just wanted to say that I’ll be snickering over that thread title for days.
Hope (for the sakes of all involved) your south pole and accoutrements remain unscathed in future and come through the oncoming trials and tribulations of regrowth (should you choose against maintenance) a-OK, so that penis may ensue.
Superb, sir. 
A razor? You used a razor? Pussy. Real men use Zippo lighters and a light touch.
He didn’t go back to bed? 
That’s not for grooming, that’s for the crabs! Or is that a splash of rum and a handful of sand, I forget?
Well, it seems I came late to this party, so no advice for the nicked scrota. As for regrowth – so long as you keep a micro-cut (do not shave to bare skin) you shouldn’t have much issue with the regrowth other than it looking funky.
While I prefer to stay clean-shaven, I think guys who shave the nether area blad are creepy. I once dated a guy who did it. I couldn’t look at it until it grew back. That’s just me, though, I have skewed views of things. You see, OTOH, I would never be with a chick who was au natural. It grosses me out to see a chick with Alfalfa in a leglock, if ya know what I mean.
If you do decide to go bald and stay that way – the trick is to use a good quality elextric razor for the day-to-day trimming. Mine is a Braun, they minimise the possibility of nicking the delicate bits. Also, that baby oil that comes in a more solid form? It’s like gel? Yeh, it keeps everything nice & smooth.
Oh, and sorry you missed out on the hot best friend threesome action, maybe next time.
**In which I learn the importance of patience but Need Answer Fast. TMI! **
You nearly learned the impotence of impatience.
Be more careful next time.
You’ve seen a woman with perfectly slicked down pubes except for a cowlick? Got pictures?
Even with protection, I’m not sure I’d risk an open wound with a (very) new partner.
(Is this where I add ‘So to speak’?)