I went for a nice long run Friday. Rather than take a shower immediately afterward as is my habit, I worked outside for a while. Then I came in and ate dinner. Then we watched TV and I drank a bunch of beer.
Around Midnight I get ready to go to sleep. I’m feeling sexy, but when I’m in the bathroom getting ready for bed, I take off my shorts and…
OHMYGODMYBALLSSTINKYYSWEAT!!! ::gag gag::
Yes, it was fair to say my balls smelled rancid. And can I blame them? After all, they’d been fermenting in my copious crotch sweat for the last five or six hours.
As a point of info, I’ll also add that I have particularly potent and foul smelling sweat in general. Sufficiently aged, and it’s unbleievably nasty.
So I stood there, reeking and ashamed, and sought desperately for a solution. I focussed ont the fact that things had gotten pretty hairy down there, and the hair was kind of long.
“All that hair must trap moisture, contributing to the growth of rancid bacteria” I said to my reflection.
“Why don’t you just give yourself a trim?” My reflection suggested.
So I got the Norelco out of the draw and fired her up and opened the trimmer attachment and got to work.
On my first pass though, I got pretty close and in order to make things even I basically ended up shaving my whole crotch area.
It looks pretty silly, and my wife laughed at me.
I mean hairy legs, hairy stomach, hairy ass, hairy sides, and a bald avenger.
Now it itches.