Ball shaving acident

I went for a nice long run Friday. Rather than take a shower immediately afterward as is my habit, I worked outside for a while. Then I came in and ate dinner. Then we watched TV and I drank a bunch of beer.

Around Midnight I get ready to go to sleep. I’m feeling sexy, but when I’m in the bathroom getting ready for bed, I take off my shorts and…
Yes, it was fair to say my balls smelled rancid. And can I blame them? After all, they’d been fermenting in my copious crotch sweat for the last five or six hours.

As a point of info, I’ll also add that I have particularly potent and foul smelling sweat in general. Sufficiently aged, and it’s unbleievably nasty.

So I stood there, reeking and ashamed, and sought desperately for a solution. I focussed ont the fact that things had gotten pretty hairy down there, and the hair was kind of long.

“All that hair must trap moisture, contributing to the growth of rancid bacteria” I said to my reflection.

“Why don’t you just give yourself a trim?” My reflection suggested.

So I got the Norelco out of the draw and fired her up and opened the trimmer attachment and got to work.

On my first pass though, I got pretty close and in order to make things even I basically ended up shaving my whole crotch area.

It looks pretty silly, and my wife laughed at me.

I mean hairy legs, hairy stomach, hairy ass, hairy sides, and a bald avenger.

Now it itches.

Repeat after me:

“Talk to Mrs Scylla BEFORE making any beer-based decisions.”


I opened this thread with my heart in my mouth, thinking you were breaking the news of thinksnow’s untimely demise.

Soap and water didn’t occur to you?!?!

I read the title and only one thought passed my mind…


Ya got lucky pal. Using an electric on the twins is a risky endevour. A beard trimmer with guard installed would be fine for a trim, but using the Norelco for a bollocky-bare look is just nuts. Too many folds and wrinkles. And let me tell you, nothing hurts quite so much as a scrotal slice (don’t ask me how I know, just accept the fact and move on).

Nice way to start off the day: read a thread about crotchfunk.

I’m sorry, I realize that others shave down there, but I’m of the firm belief that anything with a sharp edge does not belong anywhere near that region. Just reading the OP made me cross my legs. I think it’s nuts to shave your nuts. :slight_smile:

That said, I’d second Zebra and advise a shower in the future. Does wonders for getting rid of the funk, and it doesn’t lead to itchy crotches afterwards.

Better stock up on the baby powdery for your runs, my man. Trust me. Hair lubricates, don’tcha’know.

I’ll second the clippers w/guard, too. A Norelco is just a dicey move, but then again, you are the risk taker! :smiley:

I was wondering where we’d go after the bathroom threads ummm, petered out . . .

Bwahahaahaaahaaa! Yeah, I kept wondering about that too. I thought, “Uh-oh, someone pulled a ts and decided to go Kojak on the boys and had an accident.”

BTW, if someone cut themselves bad enough to go to the ER, what kind of story would they come up with to tell the nurse?

was use an antibacterial lotion.

You could always tell the doc you got chewing gum down there, and was forced to shave all the hair off. Course, that could lead to even more confusion, as to why you had chewing gum in your crotch…

Hoo, boy. Is this ever an instance of TMI.

My sympathies on your testicular misery, but–did we really have to hear all about it? The bit about the stench of your privates was particularly enjoyable.

I’ve got a whole BUNCH of puns that involve the words “nuts”, “ball”, “peter” etc that would work here. But I believe that using them would be beneath me.

So, I’ll just put them all back in the sac.

BA-Dum-Bum tshhhhh <rimshot>

What? Whaa-aat?!

If Scylla thinks the boys itch now, just wait a couple of days (Bwah-hah-hah). The only thing (nad-related) that I can think if worse than ball-itch is ball-sunburn. I spent way too much time in an over-chlorinated hot tub out in La Jolla back in '96 and ended up with a chemical sunburn on the privates. Then the peeling began (shudder). I still remember being at work talkng to my boss, shaking my leg, and realizing that I left a pile of ball-skin on his rug.


“Ball shaving accident”? How could a just God allow this to happen? :slight_smile:

…or soft drink, you make the call.

“With a name like scrotal slice, it must be good jam.”

Amen, brother!

So as not to hijack the honorable Scyllas thread, I’ll leave it at that.

So that’s what the “Pocari” in Pocari Sweat means.