Here’s another thing I didn’t ever imagine I’d read anywhere. Even on the boards.
Glad you and the boys are okay.
And let me third the shower idea for next time.
There’s only one way I can think of.
God as my witness, I will never have sex again. I am permanently grossed out by this description:
Zette
On the bright side, Zette, we now have another great band name: “Copious Crotch Sweat.”
Oh go ahead please try to think up a plausible excuse for your genital and/or erotic mishaps. It’s what keeps us nurses going when the work gets uhm hard.
The best excuses hands-down are for how objects happened to get stuck up there. I’ve heard them all from * I sat on this* to some guys jumped me in the parking lot and stuck something up my butt----no I have no idea what is is (a condom covered bingo dauber ink bottle) or why they did it.
Other assorted objects I have knowledge of being removed from various body cavities:
A pager—set on vibrate, still going off.
A light bulb–this one caused some major damage resulting in a colostomy for the unfortunate woman.
An entire 8 inch vibrator–you’d think that’d be difficult to lose.
Too many assorted veggies to count.
So tell me again–How did this happen?
Poor Mrs. Scylla… all I can think of is “whisker burn”… ouch!
Scylla, Scylla, Skylla, let this be a lesson to you. Scrotum Scraping should be left to the professionals. Or at least ones who play professionals on TV. As for evening out the look, taking a pair of scissors to the longer stuff and trimming them down in length (NOT TOO MUCH) reduces the density of growth and gives a smoother transition area. Serves you right for running in the first place.
And here I thought this thread was about getting tennis balls that had fluffed-out back in playable condition. They are back in playable condition, are they not?
This reminds me of my little brother de-eybrowing himself with safety scissors all those years ago. Just as in that case, I’m sure some hair can be drawn back on with a cosmetics pencil.
You could always buy a merkin.
Scylla strikes me as a pretty patriotic guy – I’m sure he buys a merkin whenever he can.
Another good band name.
Hey! What ever happened to waxing?! The process is a bit messy but does produce an absolutely smooth surface (after the swelling sets in)!
(drink very heavily prior to process)
Hey! Singeing would certainly be an option… you know, one of those little handyman blow-torches to get into all the nooks and crannies? Fast and foolproof!
(hospital grade drugs are advisable prior to this procedure; make sure you have the phone set for 911 autodial)!
BLACK FLAG!!! This stuff will take care of any of the critters you may toting!!
and…
Me three. All I could think is “Why the hell is Scylla starting a thread about thinksnow’s balls?”
And if that’s not a massive ego-feed for think, I don’t know what is. 
Scylla, all I can say is…damn, there’s some good band names in this thread. Thanks! 
I dare say “Bald Avenger” has its merits as well
As I’ve said before, I can barely garner the enthusiasm to shave my face on a daily basis for work. I’ll be damned if I’m going to start shaving anything else and have even more stuff to worry about.
You realize, of course, that I drive an Avenger.
And I’d like to once again express my utmost appreciation to The Women of the SDMB®™© for keeping me, and my balls, in their hearts and minds.
Heh heh Snow balls.
Bwahahahahaha
Please tell me you showered before the shaving attempt?
Weed where you can, but leave the garden alone man!!
And never use power tools down there.
I love the read: post ratio this thread has.
Everyone wants to read, few are brave enough to comment on the near miss.
My eyes are watering as it is.