In which I mildly pit CK Dexter's patronizing finger-wag

The BBQ Pit
1

Thread page that pertains-
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=291964&page=3
(scroll toward bottom)

CK Dexter, this is a decidedly condescending, embarrassing, and ultimately undeserved hand-slap of the Doper known as Rubystreak. Before declaring that it’s time for the latter to “let real life take over,” you make a point to suggest twice that “personal issues” may be affecting the way he or she is posting within the thread in question.

I ask any interested party to examine the aforementioned thread and explain to me where any of Rubystreak’s comments were aggressive/offensive/pugnacious enough to merit such a condescending public scold. Especially coming a good five hours after R. wished to head off any additional tense feeling among Apprentice Dopers with this offering:

I am not willing to go to the mattresses for Jenn (source of the Apprentice discussion in question -M.B. ), since I just don’t care that much. I’m going to unsubscribe to this thread, and I hope you will just continue the conversation without me. I never took this show very seriously and was just trying to be the Devil’s advocate. This thread has already spawned a Pit thread, and I’d like to avoid another one.

Over the past few months Rubystreak has intelligently, eloquently, and evenhandedly advanced a minority opinion pertaining to this guilty pleasure of a TV show that more than a few of us in Cafe Society have grown to love. Because he/she chose to continue defending this opinion–spiritedly, I’ll grant; I fail to detect what Carnac labeled as “vitriol”–in the face of increasing and occasionally pesty disagreement, you, CK, felt compelled to publicly address RS as an immature, slightly maladjusted, reality TV-addicted child. This is a woefully unfair summation that, I submit, was colored not a little by your completely humorless disdain for anyone foolish enough to derive pleasure from (much less talk about!) these harmless segments of trashy pseudo-reality.

Disappointing, to say the least. For a moderator, anyway.

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OK, I only read Dexter’s two posts, but it appears to me that Rubystreak, was the person who actually reported the thread to Moderators. He/she was making a formal complaint about being “misquoted” and then Dexter had to go in there and find out what the hell was going on. Then, only after reading through a stupid thread about a ridiculous show, he/she doesn’t find any “misquoting” offense. Instead, he/she only find Rubystreak getting all caught up, emotional, and insulting other Dopers.

I’d be kinda pissed about that too. But either way, I really see nothing wrong with any condescending or embarrassing hand-slaps. condescending, embarrassing, and ultimately undeserved hand-slap. And I disagree that a warning was undeserved. There was name calling in Cafe Society. That calls for a warning. If the warning came out a little frustrated or mean, then people around here could maybe benefit from some thicker skin.

I have no dog in this fight. I just don’t think it was a big deal.

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CK Dexter posted in that thread? :confused:

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I thought Dex was pretty even-tempered. In every Apprentice thread, Rubystreak’s obsession with defending Jen has been heavy-handed, tempermental, and angry.

It was easy enough for me to skip Rubystreak’s posts each week, and not bait him, and I definitely think JThunder deserves equal blame for antagonizing an already grumpy person. But Rubystreak introduced tension into the threads, and I don’t think, even realized it.

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Whether he was even-tempered is not the issue. Neither is whether Rubystreak complained or not. If CK Dexter ain’t diggin’ some of his less glamorous moderator duties, maybe it’s time to turn in the badge. I wasn’t aware this kind of snide belittling of a Doper–or that Doper’s taste in entertainment–was in CK’s job description. (And the “get a tougher skin” defense is a cop-out, Bear, all due respect. If that were the answer, then insults and flaming would theoretically be allowed in every forum.)

JThunder seemed to dog RS with all the nyah-nyah relentlessness of a five-year-old. When RS felt he may have gone over the line by twisting his words, he said something about it. His only mistake I see was lodging the complaint with the Cary Grant character in question.

Would greatly appreciate specific examples of this.

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Dude,

Rubystreak himself (herself?) said:

Emphasis added.

I would say Dex’s read was spot on. With that said, kudos to Ruby for a classy reply. If you’re reading this, Happy Holidays and Best wishes for the New Year.

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Dude… what board have you been reading?

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Moody Bastard, thanks for defending me. I love ya for it. You’ll be on my happy list for a long time.

Rysler, the reason I said that my stresses must have been seeping into my posts is because I really didn’t think I was that nasty. Or at least, not any nastier than JThunder, who just could NOT drop the subject about Jenn, even after several posters other than me asked him to. The disagreement between **JThunder ** and myself went back to the previous thread about the show, so we were already aggravated at each other when the thread in question started.

I’m sure other posters have encountered this phenomenon, where they perceive their own posts one way but everyone else seemingly thinks they are over the top, hostile, whatever. That’s what happened to me. I didn’t see what I was saying that was so vitriolic or nasty, esp. compared to some others, so I had to assume that I was unconsciously allowing my holiday, work, and house hunting stress to seep in there. How else could I account for the disparity between what I thought I was saying and what everyone else perceived?

I also think Kelly is a dick and Carolyn has a problem with other women in the workplace, and of course that comes from personal experience and from my studies as an undergrad. It seems pretty flagrantly clear to me, but JThunder seems to think it was “extreme” of me to say so, and extreme of me to call a character on the show an idiot. Bottom line, I think JThunder is a fucking jerk, and I’m sure he thinks the same of me. Not because of our views on the show, because like I said, who cares about that? No, because of his needling, twisting of words, perseveration on dead topics, and overall obnoxiousness.

But I did ask CK to check the thread out, because I was sick of JThunder’s jerkishness. I should never have asked for help, because CK couldn’t know about the posting history between JThunder and me, and I should have just Pitted his ass on my own. Eh, live and learn.

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Hmm… Moody Bastard is complaining that Dex is being… a… moody bastard.

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Why should he drop the subject? You don’t drop subjects easily yourself, as I know from experience. Just because you and several other posters don’t like someone talking about Jenn in an Apprentice thread doesn’t mean members are obligated to walk on glass and discuss only what pleases you and your buddies. This is a public message board. Look out your window. See those bipedal creatures? Those are “other people”.

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As explanation, I was unaware of prior antagonisms between the principle contenders, and so I read through only the one thread… from which it looked very much like one side “started it.” Apparently there’s a long history, and as Moderator, I’m suggesting they shake hands and make nice at each other – tis the season for auld disagreements to be forgot.

I also apologize if I was a bit short and somewhat impolitic with rubystreak. It had been an annoying day, and the last thing I wanted to do was to read through a thread that was of no interest whatsoever to me. That tends to make me grumpy, and I was already sleepy and sneezy.

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If it’s not acceptable for one member to insult another member in forums outside of the Pit, and a strict interpetation of that rule is taken, (like no alluding that they have mental problems), is it acceptable for a moderator to say that a member is mentally unbalanced there?

Telling them that a certain behavior is against the rules is one thing, but going on to talk about their mental state is (my opinion anyway) a horse of a different color. It looks like a cheap shot.

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Those were my thoughts as well catsix. Thanks for the back-up.

Hats off to Dexter for owning up to his share. I hereby de-Pit thee!

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I can’t believe you came into this thread to give me shit after making nice with me in your other idiotic and groundless Apprentice-related Pit thread on twickster. Grrrr. You have no class at all.

First of all, get your fucking facts straight before you attack me. No one told anyone not to talk about Jenn. How could anyone discuss the finale without talking about Jenn? Duh. The subject that everyone wanted dropped was the question of whether or not Jenn stole credit from Ivana, which was two episodes before. Got that? OK, let’s move on.

Why should JThunder have dropped this particular topic of discussion? Because it got too heated for Cafe Society and dragged out way past its shelf-life, that’s why. We both nearly got ourselves a Pitting in the previous thread, and several other posters expressed annoyance, even posters that totally disagreed with me, so don’t make it sound like it was just my buddies trying to bully him into shutting up, OK? A lot of people, including me, were sick of the fighting over that particular point. He ignored all objections just to keep pounding that nail in thread after thread, pulling threads off-topic and into an argumentative quagmire. I believe that qualifies as jerkish behavior, which is unsuitable for that forum. At that point he was deliberately antagonistic and he knew it.

But on another note, thanks a lot Liberal for erasing the positive feelings I had towards you from your peace offering in your Pit thread. I now know what kind of guy you are and will be sure to remember that in my future dealings with you. I hope you have a Merry Xmas anyway-- even Ebenezer Scrooge had one.