[QUOTE=Johnny Angel]
Hey, take that back – the rhyming was terrible, clearly corrupted by the forced scansion – “WINGS/UNderTHINGS/TIT slings”. I was rhyming a feminine with masculines. It’s an earsore! And anyhow, anyone who calls “tit sling” a spondee clearly underestimates the accentual power of tits.
[/QUOTE]
What? Waitaminute! I thought Titsling was a historical word for a traitor. I gotta go look this up.
I pride myself on the ability to withstand varying degrees of commercial insanity but I HATE this stupid ad. As previously mentioned, there are about a jillion words that rhyme with air. Why do people think this is okay? Why??
I am misunderstood. No way do I mean to imply that Doper dudes would be customers, we are way too hip to fall for some crap like this, I mean to feed on the teeming herds. Doper chiquitas, on the other hand, are savvy enough to know that a gift from my store could erase a multitude of sins.
“What? You fucked his brother, shot his dog, and sold his pickup truck to buy drapes? Girlfriend, got you covered…”
[QUOTE=elucidator]
I am misunderstood. No way do I mean to imply that Doper dudes would be customers, we are way too hip to fall for some crap like this, I mean to feed on the teeming herds."
[/QUOTE]
Dude, I totally got some rad boxer shorts from VS one time. Of course, I didn’t buy them. They were from a chick. But still. They’ve got dude stuff there.
[QUOTE=levdrakon]
Dude, I totally got some rad boxer shorts from VS one time. Of course, I didn’t buy them. They were from a chick. But still. They’ve got dude stuff there.
[/QUOTE]
He’s talking about his store. Where chicks pay off their debts by buying us frilly things. Sort of lambasting the stupidity of this kind of ma . . .
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton]
The Balloon Works . . . The Codpiecery . . .
[/QUOTE]
Dangling Modifiers.
You know, I’m disappointed this thread has got to a third page without someone making a “Burma-Shave” reference… 
A hint of skin
It’s not a sin
You’re in like Flynn
Don’t leer, just grin.
Burma Shave
Don’t be a slave
To the need to shave.
When it’s time for a shave,
Use Burma Shave.
Burma Shave.
To get the most
From lace and frills
You must denude
Your sweet Brazils
BURMA SHAVE!
. . .
Well done, BG.
Golf Clap
Masterfully done, BrainGlutton. 
Tits are flapping
In the wind
Cause air’s all that’s holding them
Up and in
Burma Shave
So, if a Victoria’s Secret model is on a treadmill…
[QUOTE=CalMeacham]
So, if a Victoria’s Secret model is on a treadmill…
[/QUOTE]
. . . we will all watch transfixed. (Put the camera behind her, guys!)
There once was a gal with tits nice
Her air bra did surely entice
…But her poems sucked truly
…The Pit grew unruly
But 40 dollars, man, what a price!
Victoria’s girls are quite dashing
The commercials are well worth rehashing
…Their bodies are toned
…Their breasts silicone’d
Though their wit is worth a few lashings.
There was a young gal on the tele
Who sure had quite a nice belly
…She spoke of wires and wings
…and other such things
And I bought some more K-Y Jelly.
There’s a vid on the YouTube
Requiring the usage of lube
…Where a girl reads a poem
…(Or at least I’ve been told)
I’m only here for the boob.
I feel pretty dirty, now. At least I was able to limit myself to two references to sexual lubricants, one use of the word “tits,” and only one forced rhyme that doesn’t rhyme at all (poem/told).
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton]
. . . we will all watch transfixed. (Put the camera behind her, guys!)
[/QUOTE]
I love a young lass on a treadmill
(Especially if she hails from Brazil!)
…Viewed from front or from rear
…No complaints shall ye hear
For I’ll watch and be happy, I will!
The fair model’s thighs were a-flashing
While engaged in some light treadmill dashing.
Her buttocks enhanced
Her mammarial dance
Which resulted in many tongue-lashings.
Looking at lovely breasts
is no time for poetry tests,
So the words don’t ryhme
and it’s less than sublime,
MY GOD, WHAT A RACK!
This commercial, though agreed to be sucky,
has had an effect that is ducky.
We’re filling the pit
with poems on tits
And that, my friends, makes me feel lucky!