After that mugger’s done wasting you, can he saw my fucking left arm off? The damn thing hurts more than it’s worth.
wipes a tear That’s beautiful!
Just remember, the key word in that statement is ‘tempted’. I’m pretty sure that you’re not going to go on a killing spree, but just in case… 
Are you Falling Down?
[after Bill shoots the golf cart, triggering Frank’s heart attack]
Bill Foster: What’s wrong?
Frank: My - heart…
Bill Foster: Well, what can I do about it?
Frank: Pills… get p-pills…
Bill Foster: Where are your pills?
[Frank points towards the cart, which has just plunged into a water hazard]
Bill Foster: Bad news. Your little car’s gonna drown. And you’re gonna die, wearing that stupid hat. How does it feel?
An orphanage would be even cooler
So messages about mankind rising to great things and accomplishing what was once thought impossible aren’t what you want today? Things like Captain Bly saving his loyal crew after the mutiny on the Bounty by performing a near miraculous feat of seamanship? Or perhaps the Berlin Airlift? Or something contemporary, like an all-girls FIRST team called “Fe Maidens”?
I’ll keep that in mind.
Enjoy,
Steven
Egregious misspellings make me want to punch a nun.
At least it wasn’t Captain Gry.
And Mtgman:
Captain Bligh: Was not an altruist, he was saving his own skin
Berlin Airlift: Just another cold-war stunt–entire nations continued to starve at the same time, but they weren’t cold-war pawns
FeMaidens: sexists
I have nothing useful to add, so here’s one koala pimp-slapping another: I Can Has Cheezburger?
The Happy Thoughts forum is taken away and this thread appears.
…Coincidence? :dubious:
- TWTTWN
You know what you need? A little comic strip called “Love Is…” It’s about two naked eight-year-olds who are married!
Hey, there’s theme song for you!
Take note, people. This is the kind of thing we should be seeing in the Pit.
Uninspired, bland, nihilistic rants filled with cliches and abhorrent philosophy, all of which inspired by who-knows-what, but which I sincerely doubt was so bad that all humanity deserves to die in a fire, so I am just going to assume he ran out of cheetos? I’ve seen better written by twelve-year-old girls, and the part about damning his own children makes me want to punch a koala in the face.
I’ll pass.
He ran out of CHEETOS?!? And they opened with a story about the snow on my local news? I am disappointed beyond words.
Here ya go, just what the doctor ordered.
I see somebodies wife left the toilet seat down yet again.
The H.L. Mencken quote a good start.
Now you just need to put on your headphones to Tool’s Aenima, go for an anger-run and then relax with a sixer of beer and the *25th Hour.
*If that doesn’t get your rage out of your system, nothing will.
I was going to suggest an Ayn Rand and Laibach on the rocks with a double shot of cheap vodka, garnished with a shake of black powder and a pretty paper umbrella.
Maybe not.
So…
We’re allowed to say “fuck you” now, as long as it’s directed to no one poster in particular? That’s good to know.