Actually, waking someone who is pretending to be asleep is very, very easy.
Just say, where he can hear, “Well, since Jack is still sleeping, I guess we can all finish off his share of breakfast.”
I guarantee, he’ll pop right out of the sack!
flycow: you might enjoy “What Sort of People Should There Be?” by Jonathan Glover. This book had a huge influence on me. It deals with the questions raised by eugenics, gene manipulation, etc.: if we could change ourselves, should we?
the creosote kid: I’m not sure, but I think you’ve just proven that only death (unchanging) is true (unchanged.) That may be so, but I’ve got a lot of changes I hope to undergo before I stop changing forever!
Eve invited me to this thread after I posted this in another thread:
To clarify my position, I don’t know that I believe that there’s some sort of “cosmic scorekeeper” per se. It’s just my experience that life tends to be rewarding to those that are kind, and punishing to those that are not. The reward or punishment may not necessarily be monetary or readily apparent to others, but it’s there.
Evil people tend to have crappy lives. They may be rich, or successful, but rarely are they truly *happy. * Because their attitudes towards life repel “good” people, they tend to gravitate towards others like themselves, leading to unsatisfying relationships. To put it simply, if you’re a jerk, the only people who will want to be around you are fellow jerks, and they will eventually screw you over.
Your actions in life return to you. For example, people who remember that you did something cruel to them in the past will be less willing to help you in a time of need, or will actively seek to kick you while you’re down. Kind people usually have stronger friendships, and reap the benefits from them when trouble arises.
Y’see, I don’t have that experience at all. Just to take two examples, my grandfather was a mean old sonofabitch who never did anything for anyone, and he lived a very long, happy, wealthy life.
My mother is an absolute sweetheart, volunteers at charities, helps people, not a mean bone in her body, and her life has been one goddam bad break after another.
But there is more. Basically we live out of the heart, whatever that means. To live with an open heart is joyful, to live with a closed-off heart is pain. Our own actions condition our heart.
This is where karma resides.
For a person with a closed heart even a rainbow is without colour.
It may not always be visible from the outside, but virtue carries its own reward, meanness carries its own punishment.
I think we create the world we are living in in a very real sense.
Happiness is ENTIRELY relative. I’ve recently been saying to myself that one doesn’t smile because he’s happy, but that he’s happy because he smiles. While not entirely true at all times, generally if you smile, you will feel a bit better. Of course everyone and their mother has heard this, and it’s hackneyed all to hell, but all the same, I think it makes quite a bit of sense.
. . . But still, none of this “let a smile be your umbrella” jazz negates the fact that sweet little nurses sometimes get hit by busses and evil murderers can go unpunished and live long, happy lives.
There’s always an exception to any rule, and I’m not necessarily firm enough in my beliefs to call it a rule in the first place.
I know a couple exactly like your’re describing. The man, “Joe” is also a sonofabitch, and the wife, “Jill” is a saint.
I wouldn’t call “Joe” happy by any means, and, in his opinion, it’s everybody’s fault but his own.
Truly happy people rarely see the need to make everyone around them miserable. That usually comes from wanting to make everybody feel as bad as they do.
No matter how content people like “Joe” may seem, there’s a bitterness in knowing you’re not loved. I think people like that intentionally try to hide their unhappiness out of stubborness.
“Jill’s” life has had its share of tragedy. Her children died, and she was stricken with illness. But, the way I see it, her goodness has been rewarded with the tools to deal with the heartache in her life. When something terrible happened, her friends and family were there to support her and comfort her. (“Joe” was angry and bitter that he did not recieve the same.)
“Jill” is a prisoner of her own choices. She could leave “Joe.” He rubs his infidelity in her face, and treats her like the dirt beneath his feet. She’s independantly wealthy, and has scads of loving friends who would do anything for her. She could be happy. It’s only her misguided loyalty to “Joe” which holds her back.
Being a good person will not save you from suffering, but the results of your goodnes will help you deal with your pain. Evil people rarely recieve the same comforts.
I think what you’re saying–and I agree with you–is that being good and doing good things makes you feel good (well, if you’re that sort of person). And that being a total bastard will make you dislike yourself (though, sadly, total bastards don’t really seem to care).
What I can’t see is the universe as a great big Shiny Gold Star dispenser, where if you (metaphorically) brush your teeth every day you get a reward, and if you kick puppies, you’ll fall and break your leg. Would be great if that’s how the world was, but “the universe” just doesn’t give a damn about you or me or the lady down the street
Coming at this from the neo-Pagan perspective, I’ll cite the Threefold Rule (in non fake-Olde-English): whatever you do, however you act, you will get that back three times. Most Wiccans and other neo-Pagans tend to use this as a guideline towards spellcasting; it’s a curb towards throwing your energy at giving someone else sentient, war-like toenail fungus (that is, unless you’re really looking forward to getting a triple dose yourself.)
I think it’s a mistake to take the Threefold Rule literally. That does imply there’s a scorekeeper jotting down points and carrying the three over to the hundreds column. I don’t have any strong opinion of the beliefs kharma, dharma, and reincarnation imply. To me, there’s enough consequence in this particular life to worry about. Generally, I agree with Lissa.
If you live your life treating others with respect and compassion, generally, you’ll find that you will be treated with respect and compassion. There will always be sucky people out there, and there’s also those pianos dangling over our heads, ready to fall with a splintering, dissonant crash. But that’s when the brownie points you’ve been earning start paying off.
Having just lived through the Cedars fire in San Diego county, I saw that in spades. For the first week and a half, everyone got help. Instant, unquestioning, ungrudging help. After those ten days, though, the ones who continue to get the help of their neighbors and also the ones who seem to do better dealing with the beaurocracies of FEMA and insurance are the ones who’ve been doing good things. They seem to be getting paid back far more than threefold.
My other thought is that those who make a practice of treating the people around them with respect and compassion seem to be more open and better able to judge when others are sincerely offering help and support. They’re better able to accept that support when it’s offered. They respond to it in such a way that they invite more, instead of scaring it off.