In which you tell your fellow Dopers five things they'd never have guessed about you.

  1. I’m 24 and still don’t know what I want to major in. I think Physical Anthropology, but I’m not certain.

  2. I have hypoglycemia and will occasionally pass out from it. I still have a bruise on my face from my last fainting spell.

  3. I write on the dope whenever I am supposed to be doing something else. Right now I am also composing a paper on the effects of increased CO2 emissions.

  4. Although I might seem like a total sexoholic from my frequent posts on sexual behavior and sexuality, I’m actually pretty vanilla. I have some strange fantasies and kinks, but I’ve never acted on any of them. In fact, I am kinda scared of sex, especially outside of a long term relationship. I’d like to get over my fear of sex and get laid, but I don’t see it happening anytime soon.

  5. I’m a non-exclusive ephebophile.

  1. When I move next month it will be my 18th address in 34 years. I’ve lived in 6 states (including this one) and 3 countries (including this one).

  2. I collect crystals (the Swarovski kind).

  3. I love iced coffee and coffee-flavoured things, but it’s extremely unusual for me to drink a cup of coffee – or any hot beverage, actually.

  4. I have a bunch of 45s and LPs but no turntable on which to play them. Yet.

  5. I once drank at work and totally got away with it – but the co-worker I was drinking with totally got busted.

I wanna play again!

  1. I have true stories that are so Southern Gothic that I won’t tell them because people would say “nothing that So-Goth could be true”, but one of them happened when I was about 3.5 years old and my sister and I crept past a casket on the second floor of our antebellum house, down a creaking spiral staircase and hid in a slave cabin til dawn. It’s one of my earliest memories (and one of my sister’s worst) and happened in a house we lived in for 2 years.

  2. I am the only person I know who has this phobia- if you or anybody you know does, please let me know I’m not alone. I have a phobia of mail/mailboxes- I will put off getting the mail from the box for days at a time

  3. My dog is named Ollie because he was born on the street where Oliver Hardy spent his childhood.

  4. I once witnessed Whoopi Goldberg dragging an obnoxious chef down a hallway and forcing him to watch as she made potato pancakes.

  5. One of the best purchases I ever made was a CDV of the wedding of Tom Thumb signed by both the bride and the groom and best man (Commodore Nutt) and the bride’s sister (Minnie Warren, also a little person). It was in a baseball card frame in a pawn shop and I bought it for $2. The guy had no idea what it was. (I later sold it for $200 when I really needed money, but that’s still like finding $198.)

  1. I feel extremely unattractive about 95% of the time. Maybe even 97% of the time. I have occasional days days when I think I look pretty good, but even then, it rarely lasts the whole day. The rest of the time I think that every person I encounter is thinking about my unattractive qualities. (And yes, I do rationally know that people have more important things to think about).

  2. I rarely, if ever, get involved in political discussions, because I don’t really know enough to feel confident in the subject matter. I do, however, place a great deal of importance on voting.

  3. It takes me a while to call new acquaintences or coworkers by name because I worry that I am mis-remembering their names.

  4. I almost flunked American History in high school. Mostly this was due to my asshole teacher who taught by intimidation and humilation. I couldn’t learn anything because I was so damn nervous and flinchy around him.

  5. I forget how old I am from time to time, and sometimes even have to do the math to figure it out.

  1. From the age of 11, until my early twenties, I was a real-life, honest-to-god Lolita to a friend of my family. Maybe I’ll make a thread about it one day.

  2. I spent years honing an theatre skill, determined to make it as an actress. I auditioned at places like Juilliard and AMDA. Suddenly, at the age of 25, I decided I wanted to be a doctor. Now I’m following my dream of working in medicine.

  3. I never drink alcohol.

  4. I am an atheist.

  5. I got pregnant at 17 from my boyfriend. Ten years later, we’re still going strong with a beautiful daughter.

  1. I compulsively save wheat pennies.
  2. Somewhere I have an autograph of Ron Oester, one-time second baseman of the Cincinnati Reds,
  3. I have been to Ouagadougou.
  4. I’m a little hard of hearing, but noise-intolerant,
  5. I’m fascinated by bonsai.
  1. I have an unexplained and uncanny accuracy with firearms. Its very weird, as I was never taken hunting or anything. Someone mentioned something similar in another thread and I thought ‘wow, I’m like that too.’

  2. I coached little league baseball for 3 years. In those 3 years, the kids took home two Divisions, one Championship, and a lot of Good Humor ice-cream. :smiley:

  3. I hate canned peas…especially if they’ve been boiled. I also went to school with Tom Cruise, but the peas thing is more interesting.

  4. Everybody who meets me asks me if I’m a cop. I’m not, but I guess I look like one. (Although one person thought I was a ‘hitman’) :dubious:

  5. I have an admitted dislike of the Red Sox and their fans (but I’m trying to work on it). They razzed my 5 year old son to tears at his very first visit to a professional baseball stadium. He wasn’t wearing any fan gear and he never said nor did anything to provoke this (nor did I). I have trouble not blaming them for the fact that he’s never picked up a baseball since that day.

1: Henry Kissinger signed my birth certificate

2: I was born in Clark Field AFB in the Philippines, and grew up in Africa. We got kicked out of Sudan by the communists in 1968.

3; My father hunted tigers, and has a WWII commendation from the French where they praise him for being “cold blooded” (or cool under fire I’m not sure which). My sisters are convinced he was a CIA agent, but I think they’re nuts.

4: My left eye looks normal but it’s missing the focusing lens as a result of a childhood accident

5: I’m a foxhole atheist

6: Because I have a fairly muscular build, large thighs and relatively narrow waist people have no idea how much I really weigh. They always underestimate by 30 lbs or so. I could win prizes at carnivals.

7: I joined Mensa just to meet women and dropped it after a few months when it became evident that was not a workable strategy.

8: I have way too many knives and watches

9: I lied on my match.com listing about being all outdoorsy. I’d rather spend the entire Sunday afternoon making love in a comfortable bedroom, drinking good coffee, giving sensuous massages, nibbling on a girls shoulders and lounging around reading the Sunday paper on the couch.

10: Even though it should be the last thing I need (or want) @ 48 YO, the notion of impregnating a woman while making love is enormously erotic to me for some reason.

I know these words, but when you put them in this order I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.
I’m sure what you meant was “I don’t have enough knives or watches” or “I need more knives and watches” or maybe “I don’t have enough knives and watches”

I once paid near a thou for a sgian dubh made of meteorite

Right you are! What the hell was I thinking!

I’m sure these will probably all have come through in my posts, but I also feel like I’m kinda anonymous here, so… there you are.

I was a pretty serious mixed media sculptor and ceramicist.

I am a little bit of a slob, and my husband does all the housework, which works out nicely, because I have a full-time job and a hugely successful home-based leathercrafting business.

I would walk out of this country in a heartbeat to live somewhere like Mali or Greenland or Tibet.

I imagine my own death on a nearly daily basis. Not really because I’m depressed or suicidal, just because I’m really, really morbid at heart.

Flossing makes me physically ill, and it’s the most serious threat to my marriage (he’s a daily flosser, the pressure is hard to take).

  1. I hate Gone with the Wind.

  2. My favorite snack is pretzels with tonic water.

  3. I’m watching the entire run of Dawson’s Creek on DVD.

  4. While teaching at a university, I frequently used the offical prepaid envelopes to mail letters, clippings, stories, and other stuff to my friends–and the state of CA paid for all of this.

  5. I don’t wear a bra very often.

And five more:

  1. I love casinos.

  2. I have been my dad’s primary caregiver.

  3. I’m frightened by high winds.

  4. I have one crooked toe.

  5. I am fascinated by gay men.

  1. I am afraid of airplane take-offs and landings, making flying with me a major chore.

  2. I am currently surrounded by various facts that I have copied from various sources for my own use.

  3. I lack a tolerance for consuming alcoholic beverages.

  4. One of the fingers on my left hand is loose in its joint.

  5. I am a member of the American Historical Association.

  1. I love fine ballpoint pens. I collect them and take one to work with me in a little leather case.
  2. I once won a thousand dollars playing video poker.
  3. My cat Jefferson is secretly named after Bill Clinton.
  4. I didn’t learn to drive until I was 22. My first car was a 1955 Plymouth Savoy.
  5. My jewelry is real; even the pearls formed naturally instead of being cultured. I have, however, made an exception for big plastic sports watches sometimes.

I thought of another ‘funny’ one. I take the train to and from work almost every single day. I frequently have the fear that I will lose my balance and fall onto the tracks or, worse yet, that someone is going to push me.

[ol]
[li]I have climbed to the top of three of the neighboring states (Ma, Ct, & NH), but have yet to make the awe-uninspiring journey to the top of this one (RI - lowest highpoint in the nation)[/li][li]I have decided that I hate sitting at a computer all day. Yet, oddly enough, after i am done at work, I go home to happily … sit in front of a computer and play games. ::cough::cough:: WoW ::cough::[/li][li]I have read a goodly amount of scifi/fantasy in my life time, but I go through periods where I will reread series over and over again. Usually to put me to sleep; usually satire (Douglas Adams & Terry Pratchett).[/li][li]When I was a kid (read teenager), I was quite the introvert; it was to the point where I would play board games with myself. These days, I am much more outgoing, but I still need “alone time” now and again.[/li][li]When I was a little kid (read <10yo), there were a couple of times I wanted to see what would happen if I intentionally hurt someone for no appearent reason. To this day, these couple of episodes are the few things I actually feel ashamed about.[/li]li I have a picture (taken by my dad) of me at ~16yo, taken at a shotgun range, wherein I am standing in a black trench-coat holding a twelve gauge, with the shell ejecting and the pigeon exploding.[/li][/ol]

[ol]
[li]I own a small business, the profits from which pretty much pay for my truck. Which I use for the business. It’s rather circular.[/li][li]I’m a rabid agnostic. I really, really don’t care.[/li][li]I’m quiet, but I’m by no means shy. There’s a difference, yes.[/li][li]I recently almost quit drinking. By almost, I mean that I cut down to no more than two a week, and I’ve stuck to that for five months now. It was a big cut.[/li][li]I know how to artificially inseminate a cow.[/li][li]I used to be a very good quilter, but I haven’t had the time to devote to it for most of the last decade. I’d still be good at it though.[/li][/ol]

  1. I’ve never tried any kind of illegal drug, nor do I ever intend to. Not even pot.

  2. I love cats. Unfortunately, the landlord won’t let us have any pets. :frowning:

  3. I’ve always been uncomfortable touching dead things- which is ironic, considering I go hunting.

  4. Some of my great ambitions are to travel on the Trans-Siberian Railway from Vladivostok to Moscow and the Orient Express, and retrace the steps of Lawrence of Arabia in the Hejaz.

  5. When I was a kid, I used to be an avid stamp collector, and even won a Bronze Medal from the Raffles Annual Youth Stamp Exhibition held in Singapore.

  1. I am easily amused.
  2. My greatest excitement these days is going through the express lanes at supermarkets with 13 items instead of 12,
  3. I once (along with a friend) tried to corner the Goanna Salve market in the UK
  4. I don’t think having a shag needs to be a life altering moment,
  5. I will one day settle in Scotland.
  1. I’m really good at geography, having memorized the top 10 American cities in order in population within their city limits, and having a pretty good general idea of the top 50 although I can’t remember them all at once. I can match any American state capital to its state and vice versa (quicker the first way though). I can match most world nations with their capitals and vice versa, although with some I need the question in multiple-choice format (still usually get it on the first try).

  2. The very top story on a newspaper’s front page was all about me one day. It was a college newspaper, the article wasn’t by Herb Caen, and I wasn’t mentioned by name, but my actions were by far the main focus of the article (I’d been caught smoking pot and most of the antics of the arrest centered around me but I happened to be with a player on the MAJOR-conference school’s football team at the time, and he had supplied the dope).

  3. I can beatbox. Not particularly well, but I’m teaching myself and I like to think that I can at least impress friends if I showcase my abilities after a few years of practice.

  4. I like to use free audio samples of everyday sounds and TV/movie quotes from the Web, and cut them together and manipulate them in Sound Recorder (I’m poor) to make music. It’s not very good, and anyway I haven’t had a good chance to do it in a long time, but I’ve been amassing samples.

  5. I have a baseball glove signed by the entire 1999 San Diego Padres team (save maybe a small handful of players).

:eek: Your fourth username?

:eek: Are you serious? Am I being whooshed?

You really thought we wouldn’t guess that? :smiley: