In Your Humble Opinion: What's your clever come-back in response to a verbal assaut?

Czarcasm didn’t like how I originally worded this. (Stank-ass little dweeb)

Are you sure that it was the wording he didn’t like?

I’d recommend MPSIMS, but some things are even too pointless for that…

Is there a verbal equivalent for a banning and a kidney punch?

How’s this:


bienville, here’s a Clue-o-gram.

a) You can pit me, Joe Schmoe, Czarcasm, or the entire Board. IMHO is not the Pit.

b) You can’t pit me, Joe, Czar, or Board without explaining that that’s who you are pitting. A thread titled “I think you suck” that doesn’t identify who the “you” isn’t going to live long in the pit either.

c) You may not wish to be so reminiscent of severly incapacitated incoherent street people who stand in the middle of the road having belligerent arguments with people who are not there. I’m a schizophrenic and I know these things. You look silly. Come inside and let me buy you a cup of coffee before they send out the men in the white coats for you.

I like “Oh yeah?” and “Says you!”. These always seem to shut them up.

“I know you are, but what am I?”

Gah. I meant that I figured green_bladder had it in one.

It also helps to provide a link as to why the heck you’re calling someone out in the BBQ Pit. After all, we don’t all read the entire board, and so even if someone might remember why it is you’re ragging on a particular poster/topic/whatever, they’re still probably going to fall all over themselves trying to come up with cute and/or snarky ways to request a link to the incident.

Your previous title didn’t help much, and you had better be refering to your previous title and not to yours truly with that “stank-ass little dweeb” comment. :smiley:

And might I suggest a quick trip through the BBQ Pit for a wide selection of quips and comebacks?

Of course it’s a “callback” to the original thread and not directed at anyone personally. And YES I am familiar with the Pit but I’m not trying to be incendiary- I’m not trying to bait folks into a fight- I’m just looking for folks to share their personal favorites. (I’m also familiar with MPSIMS but this is meant to be more of a “poll” than just me sharing.)

I’ll admit the original wording wasn’t very direct (or perhaps too direct), I just thought it was more fun. It does seem like this new thread better serves the intended poll: Weirddave and Jenaroph seem to know what I’m looking for, and KidCharlemagne’s response is classic! (Of course, green_bladder got it the first time around.)

Sorry, for ruffling feathers! I don’t really think any of you suck (well, at least not in the bad way!)

My favorite is, to quote Laraine Newman’s alteration of the line from the Exorcist (now people are going to tell me I should take this to Café Society!):

You’re Mother sews socks that smell!

“Go piss up a rope”

For reasons that will remain unexplained, I discovered on Friday afternoon that this is a particularly good one:

“Don’t start with me. I have a bag of knives”>

If you’re a woman, it’s always good to say “Suck my dick!”

It’s a good thing I don’t give a rat’s ass what your opinion of me is.

I prefer “suck my cock!”

A fist.

Subtle is good too - one of my favorite stories about Desmond Tutu comes from the time when he was Bishop of Johannesburg. He was walking down the road and came to a place where workmen had constructed a barrier so that there was only space for one pedestrian to walk on the pavement at a time. As he arrived at the barrier, a large, white Afrikaaner came from the other side. Tutu waited until he had passed through the barrier, and as he walked past, the man muttered “I don’t make way for monkeys”. Tutu bowed low and replied “I do”.


For an unnecessary correction of spelling I like to retort with Sick my duck.
I very rarely think a come-back is necessary, but in the times one is needed I find false praise to be best.
That is an interesting point, but do you have anything to say that is relivent to the discussion?
That would have been a very clever idea, if it wasn’t for the following issues …
Deffinately worth considering.<slight pause> A better idea would be …