OK… so I am watching Dr. Laura’s show the other night - so sue me, I work evenings and when I got home at 1am, it was the only mildly entertaining thing on at the hotel at which I was staying.
She had a newly married couple on the show - both had been divorced previously and each had one child from the other marriage (the mom had a daughter, the father had a son, both about the same age). Anyway, mom and dad had a whirlwind romance and got married after six months of courtship …
… it now turns out that their children have fallen in love with one another (I believe they are both age 14) - they want to be date, be boyfriend and girlfriend, and make kissy face. The esteemed (cough, cough) Dr. Laura says this is wrong because - well - God says so… and it must be nipped in the bud.
Thoughts?
Personally, while I think it’s going to be awkward as hell for the 2 kids, I can’t find anything inherently wrong or immoral with the arrangement. They aren’t blood related - they won’t be spawning any inbred children - and heck, it probably won’t last anyway.
It would be very socially awkward, and if both relationships last it would require a bit of explanation when others get to know the family, but I see nothing inherently wrong with it. If it doesn’t last, it probably wouldn’t have a lasting effect, as it is actually fairly common for teenage siblings to experiment with each other sexually, you undoubtedly know people who have.
10 bucks says the kid’s romance will last longer than the adult’s. Which is to say, about another 6 months, tops. The kids will something to fight against. Nothing like a ‘you and me against the world’ attitude to fan the flames of teenage, angst-ridden love. It’s a doomed romance, but theres nothing immoral going on. They are not blood relatives.
As for the adults, they went on Dr. Laura. 'Nuff said.
I’d think that relationships between step-siblings probably happen more often than you think. I bet it’s even more common that pairs of parents-in-law get married (i.e. Joe and Sue get married, and then so do Joe’s mom and Sue’s dad for example). Those kids have a tough row to hoe, but as has been said, they’re not going to give birth to inbred horseradishes.
Having argued like hell in the incest thread, the opinions I’ve found on this board should equate to: 1) Yuck but 2) go for it, if they want.
Of course, that they are 14 might give a few of the anti-pedophiles a start because, of course, the sweet little innocent 14 year-olds can’t actually consent and don’t know what they are doing.
But, sarcasm aside, I say fuck like minks and get on Springer. The new American Dream.
Good lord, here’s a story I never thought I’d tell in public. One of my first boyfriends ended up being my stepbrother. I think I was 14 and he was 16 when we were dating. We went to different schools in different towns. Who knew our parents would meet and fall in love? This was many years ago (over a dozen), and he’s still a very good friend of mine, in addition to being part of my family now. Although our parents got married well after the fact, I’m sure we could have found it disturbing on some level or another, but we never really did. Certainly a story I seldom bring up in polite company, though. Smacks a little too much of Jerry Springer.
I DO, however, think that we would have done well to avoid the situation had we lived under the same roof. The potential for disaster is intense, I would guess.
super head, I can certainly imagine dr. Laura disapproving, but did you represent her response fairly? I used to listen to her radio show and although I know she is a religious Jew, she never ever gave a response that God would disapprove or approve as a basis for advice. Please becareful here! I do not approve of people spreading falsehoods in order to put people down.
Look at it this way: virtually every teenage romance comes to an end eventually. It’s bad enough to see your ex every day in school. Imagine having to live with him/her. If on the off chance, it succeeds, well, this pair will likely eventually have a relationship of such closeness that the rest of can only envy them.
As for Dr. Laura, ppsshhh, what sensible person takes her seriously anyway?
How could this be incest. They are not biological brother and sister. This is just a crush with a wierd circumstance.
The tough part will come when the crush wears off and they still have to live with each other. It might be a little awkward.
Grienspace, I kid you not - her sole reason for disapproving was from a Biblical standpoint. She never even bothered to get into the genetic/evolutionary aspects of why we might find incest distasteful (of course, I wouldn’t expect her to be an evolutionist, so…).
Her bottom line answer to the parents was basically a) quit think about yourselves and make your children the sole purpose of your lives and b) split those two up ASAP for as long as it takes for them to lose these feelings.
Is it incest? No.
Is it a really, really, bad idea? Yes.
Should the parents force them to not date? No, but they should actively discourage it. Look at it this way: would you allow your 14 year old child to move in with his/her SO? Isn’t dating someone you already live with kind of the same as moving in with someone you’re dating?
When my father was dating the woman who became my stepmother I was seeing her younger half-sister for a little while. It ended before my dad and stepmom got married and no one ever freaked about it at the time, but it is kinda’ funny-weird even now more than fifteen years later. Not creepy, but just weird.
Oh man, I used to dream and beg God for a hot step-sister…
Seems to me the only sensible thing the parents can do (or the parents of any youngster in love, for that matter) is talk to them about it and make sure birth control is available.
Imagine the disciplinary benefits for the parents: “Billy, take out the trash or you can’t sleep with your sister tonight.” My room would be clean, my grades would be up, and the grass would be mowed, let me tell you.
I agree that this is a bad idea for all parties involved, but trying to separate them could be even worse. Several people pointed out that it’s most likely that their relationship won’t last, but I’m sure you all remember what it’s like to be in High School-the girl/guy that you can’t have is the one that you want the most. Trying to keep them apart is just going to make them more and more determined to have a romantic relationship.
Also, the kids are going to live together, there is no way to keep them separated. They’re going to have a multitude of people breathing down their necks, looking for “inappropriate behavior” and stressing them out even more. It’s a tough situation, but there’s no need to make it even tougher.
I agree that this is a bad idea for all parties involved, but trying to separate them could be even worse. Several people pointed out that it’s most likely that their relationship won’t last, but I’m sure you all remember what it’s like to be in High School-the girl/guy that you can’t have is the one that you want the most. Trying to keep them apart is just going to make them more and more determined to have a romantic relationship.
Also, the kids are going to live together, there is no way to keep them separated. They’re going to have a multitude of people breathing down their necks, looking for “inappropriate behavior” and stressing them out even more. It’s a tough situation, but there’s no need to make it even tougher.
But what woulda happened if the kids had met and got married first, then the parents hit it off and got married? Technically they’d become Step-siblings, but would it be so much of an issue then?
As mom of one bio and one adopted, there is (IMO) more than the “they aren’t bio sibs so its ok.” I wouldn’t want my kids to get romatically involved because they’ve been raised as siblings (they are one and two, so I’m not worried right now).
I wouldn’t want my son to find birth siblings and fall in love because of the genetic issues, but I’d find that less icky than a relationship between my children. I assume genetic counseling could overcome a lot of the genetic issues by the time he is ready to have kids.
These kids however, aren’t bio, and haven’t been raised as siblings. Mom and Dad may want to TRY to explain the fleeting nature of young love and the problems a breakup could cause in the family and the level of intimacy involved in living together and suggest they cool it. If they still feel the same way in several years (when they are both adults) then they should give it a try. I think Mom and Dad would make a mistake to forbid it.
