“This one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits!” 
Here is a Treksong I was taught at an SCA event back in 1976, insofar as I remember it (well, it was almost fifty years ago…):
STARFLEET (sung to the tune of CW McCall’s “Convoy”)
It was Stardate 3216.9, and we’d swung the phasers 'round,
I said “Scotty, this here’s Captain Kirk, and I’m about to put the hammer down.”
We were sailin’ through interstellar space, about 90 times the speed of light.
We met a cave full of Klingon Smokey Bears, and we passed 'em on the right.
They said “Hold on, Federation Roger Ramjet, the limit here’s Factor 3!”
I said “Uhura, did you hear Smokey ask if he could open a hailin’ frequency?”
CHORUS:
‘Cause we got ourselves a Starfleet, trekkin’ through the night!
Yes, we got ourselves a Starfleet, ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our Starfleet, ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way!
We’re gonna take our mighty Starfleet across the Milky Way!
Starfleet! Starfleet!
We were half a parsec front door to back, and a light year edge to edge,
and we showed them Klingon Smokey Bears how far the Treaty’d stretch.
We had cargo liners, cruisers, scouts! We had dreadnoughts fore and aft!
And sixteen long-eared Vulcan hippies in a rented shuttlecraft!
Pssht
Uh. put those Vulcans in behind the cargo liner. His computer’s gone out.
CHORUS
Well, we’d just come out of Klingon space, and what should lie ahead
but a Romulan border checkpoint, and my phaser banks were dead!
I said “Scotty, this here’s Captain Kirk, I don’t believe I can read that sign!”
So we shot the gate at Warp Factor 8, and we left 'em all behind!
CHORUS
Pssht
Uh, ten-four, Good Buddy. Keep the matter side in, and the anti-matter side out!