I remember my birthday parties involving cake, ice cream, punch, gifts, friends and a game or two. All my friends had similar celebrations.
Nowadays, though, I’ve seen some birthday parties that are so expensive and enormous that I wonder why the parents do it.
(Because they can?)
Specifically, I mean the kinds of parties that one relative’s kid goes to in an affluent area. I’ve seen the invitations on the fridge door and am more astonished with each one. It’s never just a birthday party. It always has to be 2 hours at a skating rink, or out to a tea party. The most recent one went something like this:
“We thougt it would be fun to rent a limo to pick up all of our daughter’s guests and take them to the house for fun with makeup, hair, glitter, nail polish, etc. Then we’ll go to the tea party, then come back to the house for cake and ice cream.”
I mean, dang! Next time, I wouldn’t be surprised to see an invitation calling for all the kids to go away for two nights to Sea World or something.
Is this the current trend, or is it just something I’ve never noticed before?
It’s just yet another symptom of the my child is the most gifted & talented & special child EVER to walk the earth disease.
Fucking parents.
No, your child is NOT the most gifted and special, they are VERY, VERY, VERY average.
When we were growing up, my brother and I were allowed to have 1 birthday party each, meaning invite friends etc. The rest of the time, it was just mom, dad, me & my brother. The person whose birthday it was got to choose the birthday meal, and you could choose whatever you wanted. One year I chose cream-chipped beef. My brother was not pleased.
Well I don’t think a skating rink is out of the question. A few years ago when I turned eight, my birthday party was at one, for about half my class (the girls…'cause guys at that age, y’know. :)) Which was about ten people maybe, including me. Give or take a few. When I got older, they were smaller affairs. Presonally I think I was that gifted, but y’know, that’s just me. 
I do think some of it’s unnecessary competition. It’s not enough to just have kids over for cake and ice cream; it’s got to be spectacular.
That being said, a party at a skating rink or at a public pool is a lot less stressful than having a bunch of kids over at the house. Not much cleaning, and less chance of having active kids break stuff. If you get the party rate (a flat rate for x number of kids and parents), it’s not that expensive, either.
The whole birthday party thing is supposed to be fun. I’ve been to some that were so overdone, it wasn’t fun, and the kids were miserable.
Robin
Which is why I kept my birthday parties secret… only my best buddies were invited. For one thing, I’m so antisocial that I wouldn’t have known what to do if I had every frickin person from my classes over, and for another, I didn’t like the kind of party described above. We’d just go out to maybe a night market or restaurant (last time it was the Pig and Whistle, local British-type PG restaurant/pub/nightclub) and hang out. Much better than balloons all over the place and everyone breathing down my neck. Besides, I hate cake!
I dunno…I’m old enough to have a thirty-one year old daughter and the very best birthday party I went to as a child was one where they hired a magician - totally unheard of back then. It’s the only birthday party I remember well and that includes most of my own.
Some of those parties are really not all that expensive. I never had my kids’ birthday parties at my house (except the family one) and they usually ran about $10 per child. By the time I got the food and decorations for a party at home, it wouldn’t be much less, plus I didn’t have to worry about cleaning up, keeping the kids entertained,breakage,keeping the guest list down to the number I could fit in my house or having room for the inevitable parents who can’t leave their child for an hour or two.
Last year when I was visiting a friend in NC, we stopped by at her friend’s house for a birthday party for her 2 year old daughter.
It was honestly the most sickening spectacle I’d ever witnessed as far as those things go. You want to talk about “spare no expense”- it was absolutely ridiculous. I’m all for loving your child and giving him/her nice things, but this was so far over the top I was amazed that adults had actually thought it through and given it the green light.
Of course, this child also had so many toys that you literally could not buy her anything- she had it all. They had the house filled with balloons, custom cake shaped like a dragon or somesuch, “party bags” for the kids (around 20) filled with expensive toys, 8 bazillion gifts- it was just a kiddie sensory orgy.
Of course, they also had every square inch of their home plastered with pics of the little girl (I counted 35 pics on the mantle alone. I shit you not, 35.) and they ran after her like servents all day. A weirder thing I’ve never seen, and I’ve seen nice weddings that I guarentee cost less.
What’s it all about? Who knows, but I had no idea that really happened outside of tv shows.
Zette
My sister lives in such an affluent area. The gymnastics club that her daughter attends has a number of party rooms and does activities with the kids. There are skating parties at botht eh roller rink and the ice rink and the go-cart track and the karate studio. My niece has gone to them all. And every year, she has a small party at home. She’s allowed to invite as many children as she is old (9 kids for her 9th birthday). My sister usually has a couple of craft activities for them to do, they swim in the pool, eat cake (or this year make ice cream/cookie sandwiches with cookies my sister made for them) and that’s about it. And every year kids say it’s the best party they’ve been to all year.
StG
As a parent of two, I have to confess that I have fed into the escalation of birthday parties.
One of the causes is the earlier socialization of kids. With so many kids now in preschool, kids have a wider social circle of friends than we did growing up. And much earlier.
Once you get invited to a birthday party or two, you feel obligated to reciprocate in kind
Birthday parties become an important part of your toddler’s social whirl.
As far as going to The Jungle, skating rinks, gymnastic, rock climbing centers, etc. You soon learn (hopefully after only one birthday invasion of your home) that an offsite party where the entertainment, serving and cleanup are taken care of is actually quite a sensible investment. This brings up two contingencies. First, your child wants a party just like so and so. Second as they get older they want a party different from so and so. (Admittedly this is where a lot of the escalation and competition among parents enters the equation.)
The birth month of the child has a lot to do with this as well. Both of my kids birthdays fall within the rainy season here in California. This precludes us from just hiring an inflatable jumper, pony rides or a swim party. We have to schedule something indoors. One of our most memorable parties was at a Round Table Pizza and hiring The Bubble Man to entertain. Having the kids stand inside a bubble was great.
Pizza, drinks and cake - $50.
Unique bubble entertainment - $125.
Walking away from the mess without having to clean up afterwards - priceless.
It may seem excessive to some, but when I grew up I never had a birthday party except for immediate family with ice cream and cake, so I get a big kick out of it as well.
Now that my kids are older, they want sleepover parties for up to 10 kids.
Oh for the good old days of Chuck E. Cheese, the roller rink, and the Bubble Man.
what good is all this money if you don’t spend it? personally, I can’t think of anyone who I would rather spend it on than my wife and kid to make their lives a little more fun and interesting.
Think I’ll take my kid to the Japenese Grand Prix in Suzuka for his fifth birthday 
Fibonacci - I’ve seen the Bubble man! (At least, I think it’s the same guy) He was at our local science museum. In fact, we always made it a point to go when he was going to be there, because he’s so much fun.
My family never had birthday parties for the kids, but I don’t know that I missed it. As the designated Birthday Child, I got to pick the meal and the kind of cake and got to hear “What do you think it is, your birthday or something?” at least 20 times that day. I always felt like hot stuff.
StG
As a parent facing this with dread on the horizon, I have to wonder (aside from the sheer gaudiness of these top-the-other-parents’-party syndrone) about the risk of spoiling your kids with this stuff.
(When I was growing up, it was a dinner party at home, primarily with my relatives, just some food and cake and ice cream and gifts, and I never wanted anything more. I guess now I’m officially a Cranky Old Man, eh? )
My SIL just had a birthday party for her daughter. She hired a clown and had the whole thing catered. Daughter even had her own mini birthday cake from the bakery for herself so she could have it all to herself. Cost: $500. We know because she told us. Her daughter turned 1. Yup, 1. She’ll remember that party her entire life. I had to bite my tongue from saying something to the tune of: “I got lost on the way over here, but don’t worry. I just followed the wise men.”
I know a guy who used to be very wealthy and threw the most outrageous parties for his kids. One, I can remember, was held on a private boat. He hired someone from the zoo (or some place with wild animals, I don’t remember where) to come on the boat with snakes and parrots and other wild birds and what-not. They had a special “jungle” area on the boat and kids could go in this “jungle” area and get their picture taken with their favorite animal. They had a live band, magician… you name it, it was probably there. I think this was maybe the kid’s 8th birthday. And remember… this is the only one I could remember. Every single one of his parties were like this (that is until he turned around 12 or 13). Now the father has filed for bankrupcy (due to a mischevious wife). That’ll teach ya to throw parties .
:eek: That actually beats anything I’ve seen or imagined!
And here I was thinking it was a bit excessive when I had to take a child (when her folks were out of town) to a skating rink loaded with at least thirty kids plus all of their parents. But hey, more kids invited means more presents to take home, right?
And they still want more stuff for Christmas.
Every year from age 7 to 12 my Mum let me organise my own parties. (Invites etc.) She gave me $20 to buy food.
I always had a sleepover. (We had a pool.) They were always great fun.
Mum always just kept out of it, hid away in her office for the day.
Oh. I’m guilty of the elaborate birthday party. Not as elaborate as some I’m reading about here, though! I like “themes” and so does my daughter. My husband, bless his heart, at least doesn’t mind them. We’ve had a 101 Dalmation party, a cowgirl-themed party, a roller skating rink party, a Hollywood party, a karaoke party and a beach party in our basement (the child was born in February, so a real beach was out of the question.) I don’t hire entertainment, but I do plan for games and such. However, now that said child is pushing 13, next birthday party will be her last official parent-thrown bash.
I had nifty parties at home until I was about 8. Mom would make great themed parties every year. Some of my favorites:
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We set the giant 1960s-vintage tent my grandparents used for camping and had a circus party. We made animal masks from paper plates and yarn and stuff. Then we drew slips of paper out of a hat with circus acts written on them and we had to act them out for everyone else. Mom hung balloons from the clothesline and we had a contest to see who could jump and pop the most.
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A Double Dare party with all kinds of “physical challenge” games. There was a contest to see who could scrape shaving cream off of a baloon the fastest using a popsicle stick and a race to see who could pick up the most drinking straws from the wading pool using only their feet. The prizes were all candy and little dollar-store toys.
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A Nintendo party with a homemade Mario-themed beanbag toss and a pin the sword on the Link game. The cake, homemade as always, came from a Mario-shaped pan and was carefully decorated with a star-shaped pastry tip in all the right colors. I was getting older by then, so I got to help. It was my first lesson in cake decorating. Thousands and thousands of tiny little frosting stars. Fun!
I got to invite ten or fifteen kids, and there were always goodie bags, but they just had candy and tiny toys; they couldn’t have cost more than $2 per kid. The decorations were crepe paper and balloons and easy stuff like that. My point is that, while a lot of preparation and work went into my brother’s and my birthday parties, they were still pretty simple in that my parents didn’t break the bank hiring entertainment or a caterer. They weren’t trying to outdo anyone or blow my little birthday-girl mind; they just wanted to put together a good party that my friends would enjoy and that they (mom and dad) and I could remember fondly forever.
And they did it; damn but that Double Dare party was fun.
The last birthday party I can remember having was when I was 10 years old. It was Garfield themed. Unfortunately, another girl was having a skating party that same day, and she was more popular than I was. 
I think birthdays are very important days, and I wish someone would give me a party for my 29th. I would go all out if I had kids, though I draw the line at spending as much as someone would for a wedding. But, the rest of the year, my kid probably wouldn’t even get any toys unless he/she bought them with their allowance.