I spend a large amount of time in preparation of, celebration of, and cleaning up of a 3 year olds birthday party. It wasn’t my child, it was my wife’s best friends. There has been month’s of preperation, building rentals, expensive cakes made from only the best cake makers in the area, lots of food made, tons of people invited, decorations hung up and taken down and brought a little to the left and then a little to the right and then the banner taken down and then back up and then the table cloth is crooked, then the tables aren’t lined up and this party is going to be terrible. Nobody likes anyone who is invited…So much headache and it seems like the last thing on the mind was the actual child himself. He who doesn’t give a damn about anything about table cloths or themed parties and would probably just want some family and friends and cake. Am I wrong or did I grow up in a different time?
Did the parents have a nice time at least?
I’m with you. I never had a birthday party as a kid. Not one.
I attended one birthday party only, when I was about 10. We went to McDonalds and then stayed up late telling spooky stories to each other.
This was the 1970s.
We tried to do at least something with our kids as far as parties were concerned, because that’s the expectation nowadays. Mostly we just invited friends of theirs over for cake and games.
That’s a party for the adults, not the kid.
The mother said how much of a horrible party it was, as she did the other 2 birthdays she had for him. She doesn’t care for anyone she invited and was miserable the whole time. The husband was happy to see his son happy and thought the party was great and knew she didn’t like the party but did the best to make the most of it.
This is a pretty recent phenomenon.
Of course a kid should have birthday parties, but kids care about three things:
- Fun things to do
- Fun things to eat
- Presents
If a child has those things, they’re happy. The tablecloths matter not.
When your child starts school it seems the law round here that everyone in class must be invited to birthday parties. That’s nice and all, but it means 30 events a year - not uncommon to be going to one every weekend in school time.
What people do tend to do round here, though, is just book a soft play facility for 2 hrs. Don’t know what you call this in the US - they’re giant indoor play areas with climbing frames, slides, ball pits etc. The kids love it and it avoids making a big song and dance about throwing a party in your home. We do this (our eldest is 5) for all of the schoolfriends, and will have a separate family celebration with the grandparents etc.
Reckon there’s a fortune to be made for the person who brands an upmarket soft play area. Been to loads and they’re a bit rough and ready from the adults perspective [kids love them regardless]. Good food, coffee, no scallies - I reckon that would be a winner.
I think kids parties have gone over the top. It’s like the parents compete to see who can spend the most on their kids party, they all want to outdo each other.
I doubt young kids care, or will even remember the party.
When people started including gift registries in the party invitations I knew it was going to be all downhill from there.
My sister used to do hugely elaborate parties for her son although she doesn’t actively hate the rest of us so I guess at least she had that going for her. Now that she has a second child, she still does a bit of decoration but has scaled back significantly. At least with her, she enjoys decorating so it’s more of a personal challenge to make it “big” than a chore.
For the older one’s final “big” party (she warned him that 12 was the last one) she just rented one of those trucks with all the video games and TVs inside. Then ordered a ton of pizza. I don’t know if it wound up costing her more or less than previous parties but it was probably a lot less stress and still seemed elaborate (“Yay! Video game truck!”)
The best rule I ever heard for kids’ bday parties was this: invite as many kids as the kids’ age plus one. So if your kid turns 3, invite 4 kids.
That’s not to say you can’t have one big party…but save it for when the kid appreciates it too! Like 16.
I’m so glad I was a kid in the 50s, when birthday parties meant cake, games and presents. They weren’t even ruined by having to share a party with my brother (our birthdays are a day apart).
Since moving to a wealthier neighborhood I’ve been dealing with these crazy parties. My daughter is a third grader and it seems like this is the age where they get the most ridiculous. I can’t compete with this crap. I don’t even try. My daughter’s birthday is December 26th so luckily they’re out of school and we’ll just celebrate by taking her to Cici’s with a few friends. No party there, just lunch. We’ll have a nice dinner with cake later.
Just curious: Why were you involved in this?
She sounds like one of those mommy-martyrs who will do anything to get people to feel sorry for her. What percentage of the invitees even showed up?
As for kids inviting everyone in the class, that rule applies only if the invitations are handed out at school.
First birthday- sure it’s a big deal and I like going to those parties. Anything over one year old- it’s just a gift grab.
My daughter really enjoys her birthday parties, much more so than the cheap gifts she receives.
My opinion on children’s birthday parties is that I hate going to them. My opinion on the party in the OP? Those parents are nuts.
My opinion is that such parties are a bad idea. No kid that young needs that big a deal made over birthdays… or at any age probably. Can you imagine what the kid is going to expect later on for birthdays? OMG.
I’m not saying no birthday fun… a cake, a wish, some family and friends… but yea, that’s over the top.
It’s my wife’s best friend. For the past few year’s it’s been weeks of prep. Balloon arrangements, building rentals, doing as we are told as to not offend.
“Oh no I can not believe that woman said that to you at the party store.”
“I truly can’t understand how that bakery is still in business.”
“I would ask for my money back if my balloon did that.”
Her husband is a better man than I.
Grow a backbone. You’re obviously annoyed and irritated about participating in this, you also very obviously don’t like your wife’s friend or the way she parents her kid, and yet you’re allowing yourself to get heavily involved with this situation because… why, exactly? You’re worried about offending someone you’re not even friends with?
Seriously, be a grownup. “Hey, you guys have fun party-planning; I’m going out to run some errands and pick up dinner.” Or whatever.
Well, I could, it’s not in my personality to but the main reason is my wife. It’s her best and really her only friend that she really hangs out with on a regular basis, I don’t want to cause a rift in between them, plus I like their husband. I could do it politely I guess, but I suffer in silence, or in this case, on the internet. My wife really likes to help out with her little boy because it’s been difficult for us to have kids and from the looks of it, it may not be able to happen at all. I’m not saying it’s impossible but it’s not looking good. My wife’s really wants to be a mom and that fact that I might not be able to do that really stings so any chance she has to help with her friends children or her nieces and nephews I let her because she cherishes it and I just bitch elsewhere.