Oh, Og, the pig thing! I’m scared. I can see where it would have enormous value. I can’t make fun of anyone’s puppets, though, since my roommate and I spent twenty or so minutes in Kroger, playing with the Easter puppets. My most frequent contribution: putting my hand in the duck puppet, and saying in a gruff voice (as puppet), “Hey, tell this chick to get her hand out of my butt!”
I’d had a LOT of sugar that day.
Ahem.
I have a squeaky little rubber duck that my sister bought me, so it doesn’t count, but it fills me with joy to squeak it at people. I was roundly made fun of for buying a Nostalgia Edition Scrabble game, in the nice wooden box, but it was worth it. It’s lovely and the tiles are so waxy. Besides, I dig the little maroon velvet bag for the tiles.
I also get grief for my fridge magnets, ninety-two cents at Target. They are strips with words on them, such as “Square,” “Yeah, man,” and “Trickeration.” Tracy (same roommate of puppet incident) and I made some sentences. Hers is “Off the cob like gangbusters jive foxy chick.” Not quite a sentence, but I feel it is profound somehow. It’s right above my “Dig square threads.”
My snazzy leopard-print wallet garners as many cheers as jeers. The jealous masses just don’t understand. That wallet is sturdy and holds all manner of cards and receipts. I also like to read books in public that make people wonder. In one week, my choices were Sexual Astrology, Mere Christianity, and Quicksilver’s Knight. My boss was so confused, she finally had to ask.
My obsessive purchase of Spray’n’Wash Stain Sticks is derided as well, but they’re a boon to clumsy folk everywhere.