Incredibly Stupid Things You've Heard Others Say, part 181672561

[whistlepig]

1. A couple of years ago at a conference with horrible parking we decided to take coworker Dave’s car off-site to go to lunch. Dave uses a wheelchair, so he volunteered to drive since he would be able to get back into a handicap parking spot and we wouldn’t have to circle the parking lot trying to find a space.

When we got back and were going into the conference, another cow-orker said, “Geez, Dave, I wish I could get a handicap parking sticker like you have.”

Yeah, and Dave wishes he could play tag football with his kids.

2. A couple of years ago I took some people from North Carolina into Yellowstone National Park for their first visit. I had told them about how, in my group of friends, whoever goes into YNP the first time each year buys an annual pass but BS’s with the ranger at the gate and gets out of signing the pass. That way, the overpriced annual pass can be shared among friends until a ranger notices that it isn’t signed and makes them sign it. You then have to give the original person the money to buy a new annual pass in their own name. (We cheat the government. Oh well. )

At the gate, the ranger said, “You haven’t signed your pass. Please do so now.”

Whistlepig - “Sure. Oh gosh, I must have forgotten to do that. Thanks for letting me know.”

North Carolina #1, loudly, “No, whistlepig, you didn’t forget. You said you trying to get away with not signing the pass so you could share it with your friends.”

The ranger and I were both not amused.

#3 I told both North Carolina #1 and #2 that animals in YNP are dangerous and told a few “tourist killed by animals” stories. Two days later we were in the Boiling River at dawn (only ones there at -10 degrees). When we were ready to leave, there was a bison hanging out about 50 feet from the boardwalk. I told them to stick with me, ignore the buffalo and which small ravine to jump in if it charged.* North Carolina then stopped on the boardwalk, pulled her camera out and started to walk towards the bison saying, “Can I pet it?”

It was tempting.

whistlepig

*Not being macho - I grew up around bison, wild animals and YNP. There’s a lot of stuff tourists don’t recognize about wind direction, animal feeding direction, how you move, etc. when dealing with wild animals.

None of which logic one should ever want/have to test with a grizzly bear.

[JustAnotherGeek]

@ivylass

Remember in school (I don’t know if they do this anymore) where kids were put on certain tracks related to their intelligence*? I was in algebra, and I had a friend who was, let’s just say, not taking algebra.

I was trying to talk to her about negative numbers,
<snip>
I think kids naturally progress from math to algebra to geometry to trig to calculus. I don’t think (I could be wrong) that some kids are sidetracked into “dumber” math anymore.

Well, in your friend’s defense, negative numbers is a really hard concept for some people to get. I know many adults who have learned the rules for dealing with negative numbers but have never truly understood the concept or why it’s such a powerful one. Heck, I was even great at math as a kid, but I never “got” the importance until I saw Stand and Deliver in college.

There certainly are different “paths” these days for most disciplines. (At least where I teach.) We, of course, can’t call them “tracks”, so instead we call them “paths.” Fer ex, some 9th graders take geometry, some algebra I, and some algebra I-A . (Alg I is a one year course; alg I-A is the first course in a two-year series on algebra I topics.) At best, someone in the I-A,I-B courses will take Algebra-II as a senior, but very few do. In theory, there is nothing holding such a student back from taking either geometry or trig during summer, but I have never seen that happen.

[Malacandra]

@whistlepig

2. A couple of years ago I took some people from North Carolina into Yellowstone National Park for their first visit. I had told them about how, in my group of friends, whoever goes into YNP the first time each year buys an annual pass but BS’s with the ranger at the gate and gets out of signing the pass. That way, the overpriced annual pass can be shared among friends until a ranger notices that it isn’t signed and makes them sign it. You then have to give the original person the money to buy a new annual pass in their own name. (We cheat the government. Oh well. )

At the gate, the ranger said, “You haven’t signed your pass. Please do so now.”

Whistlepig - “Sure. Oh gosh, I must have forgotten to do that. Thanks for letting me know.”

North Carolina #1, loudly, “No, whistlepig, you didn’t forget. You said you trying to get away with not signing the pass so you could share it with your friends.”

The ranger and I were both not amused.

Interesting. So how far do you extend this logic? If you think TVs are overpriced do you feel justified in taking one out of the store and not paying for it unless challenged? Do you have a bunch of friends who are in on the scam? :dubious:

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

@Malacandra

Interesting. So how far do you extend this logic? If you think TVs are overpriced do you feel justified in taking one out of the store and not paying for it unless challenged? Do you have a bunch of friends who are in on the scam? :dubious:

If I read it right, they bought and paid for eh pass, but didn’t sign it. Being a nontransferable pass (I assume) you can’t give to someone else. The person (not the original purchaser) who ends up signing the pass, because the ranger noticed it was unsigned, would now be the only one who owns it (even though the original person paid for it), so they would paid that person back so they could buy themselves another pass.

They haven’t stolen a pass, but cheated the parks services out of subsequent passes that other people may have bought. That’s my understanding…

[Malacandra]

@IvoryTowerDenizen

If I read it right, they bought and paid for eh pass, but didn’t sign it. Being a nontransferable pass (I assume) you can’t give to someone else. The person (not the original purchaser) who ends up signing the pass, because the ranger noticed it was unsigned, would now be the only one who owns it (even though the original person paid for it), so they would paid that person back so they could buy themselves another pass.

They haven’t stolen a pass, but cheated the parks services out of subsequent passes that other people may have bought. That’s my understanding…

Mine too. Doesn’t matter. It’s still theft. Whoever uses the pass (and didn’t buy it) is stealing from… who? The government? The government doesn’t have any money. The people who actually paid for their passes are the ones being stolen from. Whoever sanctions the use of their unsigned pass is an accessory. IANAL and all that. So I think I have another entry for this “Stupid things people have said” thread (not you, ITD). :rolleyes:

[KSO]

Never mind…

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

@Malacandra

Mine too. Doesn’t matter. It’s still theft. Whoever uses the pass (and didn’t buy it) is stealing from… who? The government? The government doesn’t have any money. The people who actually paid for their passes are the ones being stolen from. Whoever sanctions the use of their unsigned pass is an accessory. IANAL and all that. So I think I have another entry for this “Stupid things people have said” thread (not you, ITD). :rolleyes:

Yeah- I’m with you (not defending it, was just explaining it). I think the Parks department needs all the revenue it can get…

[AskNott]

@Helen's Eidolon

1. Curriculums is perfectly correct. We’re speaking English, not Latin.
   …

It’s okay, if you’re singing about them. “Curriculi, curriculaaaaaaa, school is but a song, curriculi, curricula.”

“Well, how come the national parks are run by the Department of the Interior? I mean, they’re all outdoors. That’s exterior!” :smack:

[Hypnagogic_Jerk]

@Hostile Dialect

OK, let’s put this hijack to bed. Bilingualism is a completely different animal in California compared to Quebec. The concept that our state is teeming with Mexicans who refuse to learn English is simply blatantly wrong, and it is absurd on its face because of all of the obvious benefits that come with learning English and all of the obvious hardships that come with not learning English in that situation.

All right, I agree with you.

I don’t blame you one bit for supporting that idea, because you come from an environment where (AIUI) nobody really has to learn English to have a rich, fulfilling life if they already speak French.

No, it’s the other way around.

[BMalion]

@Hypnagogic Jerk

No, it’s the other way around.

Zut Alors!

[diggleblop]

My friend and I were in 7-11 one night after hitting the bars and the lady at the cash register was a little on the heavy side. Well, I walk up behind my buddy who is in line and having his shit rung up and he starts to strike up a conversation with the woman and it went like this,

Buddy: “so, how long you been working here?”
lady: “About 6 months”
Buddy: "that’s cool, I guess you’re ready for your well needed break soon, huh?
lady: “Huh? what do you mean?”
buddy: “I mean, when is your baby due?”
lady: who stands there for 2 or 3 seconds with her mouth dropped open finally says, “I’m not pregnant !”
buddy: “oh…oh…shit…my bad, I’m sorry. It just looks like you are with your big belly and all…”

me: “Nick, you just insulted her TWICE without even knowing it, pay her so we can get the fuck out of here, dumbass.”

Lady: “thank you sir, if you didn’t tell him I would have. Yall have a good night”

then she walked away and the other lady finished ringing us up.

[ivylass]

Dude, as Jeff Foxworthy says, unless you actually see the baby emerging from the womb…never assume she’s pregnant.

[Santo_Rugger]

Overheard in a gas station last Thursday, “Give me a call tomorrow, it’s my Friday!”

It’s my Friday, too, lady! :smack: She was, of course, referring to it being her last work day of the week.

@bbs2k

My grandmother lives in an assisted living apartment. It’s all we can do to keep her out of a nursing home.

I was unlocking the front door and was holding it open for a blind woman walking in after me.

She thanks me, and as we’re walking in together I comment, “Oh look, they’ve repainted the walls!”

My mom introduced me to her legally blind friend. “Oh, Santo, you’re such a handsome young man… But that doesn’t mean much, cuz I’m blind.” She was a really funny lady.

@El_Kabong

My ex once was reading a book discussing the events of World War I:

Her: It says here that the French used 75mm artillery.

Me: Yeah, that’s right.

Her: That doesn’t make any sense. How could those tiny little guns hurt anything?

I’ve done a bit of testing on 110mm tank rounds. That was fun.

[Sunspace]

@whistlepig

#3 I told both North Carolina #1 and #2 that animals in YNP are dangerous…

Then there’s what happened to me. I’m standing on a streetcorner in Banff, waiting for my friends to pick me up with the car. I’m reading this huge sign that warns how dangerous the elk are because it’s mating season, etc, etc, and not to approach within a hundred metres.

I finish reading the sign and turn around. There’s an elk standing in the middle of the road… fifty metres away. :eek: Now what do I do?

I stayed very still and it walked away.

Good thing it wasn’t a bear…

[Algher]

@Hostile Dialect

In Austria? That makes no sense. Do the schools there simply refuse to teach that anything bad ever happened there?

Both Germany and Austria at times have simply skipped WWII in history classes, rather than teach anything that could be construed as either apologetic or attacking themselves. This cite of mine based on nothing more than a discussion with a German friend.

[GuanoLad]

@AskNott

“Well, how come the national parks are run by the Department of the Interior? I mean, they’re all outdoors. That’s exterior!” :smack:

I dunno. That seems a reasonable question, on the face of it. If you don’t know what “The Interior” actually refers to, then it’s (almost) logical to assume it’s meant literally.

[Yllaria]

@ivylass

. . . I think kids naturally progress from math to algebra to geometry to trig to calculus. I don’t think (I could be wrong) that some kids are sidetracked into “dumber” math anymore.

It’s not Dumber Math, it’s Practical Math.

[Zabali_Clawbane]

@Yllaria

It’s not Dumber Math, it’s Practical Math.

Well, it’s practical to teach kids to comprehend negative numbers early. This way, they don’t overdraw their bank account when they grow up.

[Andy]

@JustAnotherGeek

Well, in your friend’s defense, negative numbers is a really hard concept for some people to get…

You’re not kidding!

[Illuminatiprimus]

@ivylass

Dude, as Jeff Foxworthy says, unless you actually see the baby emerging from the womb…never assume she’s pregnant.

And sometimes not even then, there are plenty of women who end up going into labour who themselves don’t even realise they’re pregnant. I heard one woman talking on the radio once (in the context of personal medical experiences) who said she had been suffering for most of the day with stomach pains so she eventually drove herself to hospital only to end up giving birth a few hours later to a baby she didn’t know she was even pregnant with.

My own personal :smack: stories:

1. Working in a previous job the topic of discussion got around to casual sex (we were all students in retail, so not that shocking a topic for any of us) and contraception. At one point one of the girls said to me (the gay one) “The thing is you need to be that bit more careful illuminatiprimus because we just need to worry about getting pregnant whereas you… well, you know” clearly not wanting to actually say AIDS out loud. I decided not to point out the fairly crucial flaw in her reasoning.

2. In a very similar vein at the same place of work a colleague was talking about a female friend of his who was told she was genetically sterile and would never be able to conceive. He quoted her response as being “Bonus, no contraception for me then”. I couldn’t resist and had to say “Does she think STDs are an invention of the condom companies?”.

3. In my current job in government (based in Westminster) when I used to work for a Minister, one of my colleagues (who also worked for a Minister) when told that the Minister would be going to the Houses of Parliament later that day responded with “Where’s that?”. It wouldn’t have been quite so bad if she didn’t walk past it every day on the way to work.

But by far the most priceless has to be 4. When talking with my cousin once he (for some reason I can’t remember) was trying to argue that people hunting dinosaurs was as bad as hunting animals for sport is now considering they went extinct. I pointed out that the gap between humans evolving and dinosaurs dying out was 65 million years to which he retorted “what about cave men?”. I would blame him getting all his information from fiction and thinking the Flintstones was a documentary or something but this conversation was a couple after Jurassic Park came out so if he did indeed just believe any fiction presented to him you’d at least think he’d go for the live action one as his source of information.