I am really concerned that these threads fall just short of being hilariously entertaining. There is real potential here, but not enough effort is being put into the original posts. They need a special twist.
No they’re not. Either go see a fucking doctor already, or shut the fuck up.
I’ve seen the threads and thought the same, but that^ right there, that’s the proof. Troll or nutjob, no one here can help him.
I’ve been doing some praying and I believe the Holy Spirit has spoken to me. Maybe if you listen to some uplifting music it will sooth your heart and make you not afraid.
or maybe some uplifting scripture.Quothe the Lord through his prophet R. Williams
Amen.
May God Bless you and Him Always. 
Or the grapist.
Perhaps start with the anal grape and work up to the corn.
Wow, that takes me back.
Surely someone on this board is familiar with the ins and outs of the topic.
Maybe he is the star of a new reality tv show based on the Final Destination movies?
Whoa! I had to do quite the search to find out WTF this is referencing.
Do you have some kind of speed-sorted database?
Or is there some other reason a thread from a year and a half ago would be so uppermost in your mind?
His anal rape thread was extremely similar to a letter that Dan Savage printed less than a week before his post. At first I thought he was recycling Savage material for his schtick, but then it occurred to me that maybe he was trolling Dan Savage as well. I dunno and barely care enough to write this post.
I don’t know. If someone truly had these many potentially medically-related concerns and they weren’t a bit wackadoodle, then I think they’d keep most of it to themselves or seek medical advice. Because he posts all of these issues on a message board and then argues against seeking medical advice, I am forced to conclude wackadoodle.
Reading a few of his threads, my first thought was hypochondria, but no. A hypochondriac would be driving a real medical professional nuts in real life. This? This is something else.
Are you not familiar with BigT? The Whitest of White Knights around these parts that said this message board is his entire life, thinks being mean to people on the Internet will literally kill them, had to learn how to masturbate via a written manual, and literally lives in his mother’s basement. The thread being referenced was notable because it involved a fully grown human being calling his own parents fuckers for not buying the right milk for him when they did his grocery shopping for him.
I bet ineedthetruth has WebMD bookmarked. He’s a paranoid wackadoodle.
And people really need to stop telling him to see a doctor. Shit ain’t happening.
I’d try prune juice first. But really, a trip to the doctor might be in order if you keep having trouble.
I know the classics.
And in another eight months, he’s going to post the MOST devastating comeback…
He’s preparing his paper towel tube as we speak.
I’ve got two questions:
One: Where’s the fife?
Two: Give me the fife.