There is a damned bird singing all kinds of creative and beautiful songs just outside. But its midnight! And hes been doing this now for about two months now. And it wont shut up until 1:15 to 1:20am (every single night). For two months. Every night. What. The. Hell. Is. This. Infernal. Monster. And . How. Can. I. Rid. This. Blessed. Blue. Planet. Of. Its. Wretched. Existence.?
It will be midnight in Nor Cal in half an hour if this helps.
Apparently, the Northern Mockingbird sings at night, and is local to you. That’s right, it’s mocking you.
I have an Ethel Merman Bird outside my bedroom window. Every goddam morning starting at 4:15, “CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP!” I close my window. I put on the white-noise machine. I put a pillow over my head. Can still hear the little bastard. I am buying a slingshot.
Make sure it’s not a Lt. Hurwitz bird, those are endangered.
Put a stuffed owl on your windowsill.
The problem is not the bird, it is you. Change your perspective, let him serenade you to sleep.
“Serenade,” hell, it’s mating calls or territorial calls. Birds are either screaming “fuck me!” or “fuck you!”
I live smack dab in Mockingbird Central, USA, and this was what I had to do. Getting pissed off at the damn thing just resulted in elevated heart rate, stress, and insomnia. Drifting off to the dulcet tones of a songbird constantly shifting from melody to melody works much better.
(Note that I still can’t make this work for birds with single-note “Cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!” calls. Those drive me insane.)
Indeed its a mockingbird. Ive seen them with their white stripped wings that look like thise sweaters popular in the 90s.
If it’s mockingbird, buy a slingshot and a pair of night vision goggles. (Assuming your neighbors are not too close, and you have fairly good aim.) You don’t have to kill it, just encourage it to move away from you.
Uh, and you should make sure your city doesn’t have one of those city-wide bird sanctuary rules.
We don’t have mockingbirds in my part of North America, but I’m sensitive to any kind of noise when I’m trying to sleep (even rain - yes, I know it’s supposed to be soothing, but I’m weird, okay? 
), so I often use earplugs.
This made me laugh out loud. 
How about some judicious application of Di-Hydrogen Monoxide via your tubular liquid transfer device from the vegetable growing area?
No need to be violent, is there? 