This was brought on by EZ Cracker which is not, unfortunately, about trailer trash sexcapades. It’s a commercial for people too stupid to crack eggs effectively.
But this still does not beat my favorite too-stupid-to-live infomercial-- People so stupid they don’t know how to use a blanket.
Which just beat out people too stupid to clean their own feet, but only because I couldn’t find the youtube for it.
Please, add your own too stupid to live infomercial moments.
Are you ready for this?
Here’s 10 minutes of the immortal Santo Gold featuring scenes from his movie Blood Circus.
Ah, the things you remember from your childhood.
EZ Cracker is news to me. I have *got *to find a way to cash in on the fact that Americans have too much money and not enough brains.
That’s actually kinda clever. Pointless, but clever.
I nominate this one for people too stupid to use a colander.
The easy cracker can seperate whites from yolks which is handy but I guess it’d be for older people who have hand issues?
That looks like the porno version of HSN.
I’ve been thinking about getting an EZ Cracker. Not because I’m too stupid to crack an egg on my own, (I use to be quite good at it.) But, now that the tremor in my hands is getting worse, cracking eggs, peeling and slicing veggies, and various other kitcheny things, are getting difficult at best but mostly messy. At least with the eggs, the mess isn’t caused by my blood getting everywhere.
I assume those type products are made for similar physical disabilities.
I nominate the toenail clipper thing with the long extension. Not because it’s stupid but it looks dangerous! If you’re unable to reach your toes because of weight it might work okay. But it’s marketed for the elderly. I would think if you’re too frail to reach your own toes, you would lack the dexterity to aim and squeeze the handle thing.
Hell i might get one of them just for that snapping sound. So addicting. SNAP!
I sort of like those can lid thingies myself, but the video of dumped cans in fridges, and frustrated people pouring out drinks because they’ve gone flat or … horrors … they have to drive in the car I find utterly hysterical. “Oh, if ONLY I could drink my Coke while driving! Life would be worth living, then…”
I like the automatic egg white separator. But really, I just use the shell halves for that (on the rare occasions that I actually need to separate eggs).
The ineptitude of the characters struck me the first time I saw this commercial. To my knowledge and memory, I have never cracked open an egg and had it not go into the receptacle. Never on the counter instead of the bowl, never onto the stove instead of the pan.
Completely useless unless, as Batsinma Belfry there is a physical issue that this gadget can help with.
Poor design. Ever open a can and have it fly across the room spraying sticky soda everywhere? (Me neither, but go with me here.) See, the thing should have an automatic tab punch, so that when you put it on the seal part of the tab is pushed in, automatically opening the can for you. 
The can-to-bottle thing looks like it might be useful for kids who are likely to spill, maybe… Or you could, ya know,buy bottles to begin with.
There was one that advertised a mop that could wring itself out. The voice said “Save money in this tough economy” as the mop soaked up a spilled soft drink. And squeezed it back into the glass.
The silly part about the egg cracker is that it shows a woman who can’t manage to crack an egg without getting almost all of it in the burner tray, or without getting bits of shell in the cake mix. Yes this same woman can whisk meringue by hand (somewhat tricky even with an electric mixer) and seems to be an expert omelet maker.
Actually, I find the bottle-can thing potentially rather useful and if I saw it in a dollar store, I’d consider getting one.
This is for people who can’t be trusted with knives.
Wow. And since they strategically place the little triangular flag to prevent us from seeing any bare calves, it’s even suitable for PAX TV.
That is weird. The others may have stupid people in the ads, but at least they can have a useful function. I could only see this as a gag gift for a guy who’s constantly talking about golf.
Now you too can practise shots you couldn’t possibly miss anyway while taking a dump!
Is diarrhea a water hazard?