In the spirit of virtual benevolence I have started this thread in order to allow the exchange of money saving initiatives between members.
Times are hard. The cost of essential products and services is ever increasing and must still be paid for ad infinitum. It is incumbent on us all to do whatever we can to save our pennies so that we have enough money to pay for the needs of the modern age, such as mortgages, oil and unlimited supplies of strong anti-depressants.
My tip is exclusively for women.
Ladies, save money on expensive breast implant operations by referring to your breast size in octal (base 8) instead of decimal. Octal breasts will instantly enhance your measurements by a factor of 25%. For example a pair of size 32 (decimal) bosoms will become size 40 (octal) at no cost to yourself and without the need for messy and unpleasant surgery.
Similarly, women who are looking for a reduction in breast size can express their measurements in hexadecimal instead. Using a base of 16, a pair of size 64 (decimal) breasts can easily be converted to size 40 (hexadecimal) without the discomfort of an operation and the ensuing painful recuperation.
If anyone else has a ‘design for living’ tip (it doesn’t have to be breast-related) please feel free to make a contribution.
Hang around the park in the daytime, waiting for an old person to come feed the pigeons. Once they commence feeding, swoop in, grab a pigeon and quickly bite the head off the poor bird.
The old people will be so aghast that they’ll meekly hand over the bird feed when you ask for it. Hah! You’ll dine like a king.
If you look in the bottom of your closet, you are likely to see a variety of footwear that you rarely use. We all have them. Those cowboy boots and Tevas are cool but come on, you just go to work and come home most days so you have no need to own something like that outright.
Shoes cost big money and you can save big if you start shoe-pooling. There are different ways to show pool but common ones involve either your neighborhood or your work. You simple sign up members (which usually takes care of itself) and you get each member to post their inventory and sizes on a website (which you will build yourself using a free host of course). After that, members can filter buy size, style, and blackout dates. Reserving a pair of moccasins or some black stilettos only takes a few clicks and the original owner or “guardian” as they are called here just brings them over to your work or house. You return them by the due date.
This system both saves money and increases the average person’s shoe accessibility. If this system works out, you might want to turn it into a full-fledged show club in which members stop buying pairs on their own and simply pay a lesser fee into the club shoe budget. New shoes are purchased by the club through a democratic system with some tweaks to allow some fetish and high fashion purchases.
Similar systems called fractional ownership have worked well in airplane purchases and elsewhere. You are likely to find the concept so appealing that you can expand it to include other items of apparel.
Water conservation is a big concern in many areas these days. Fortunately, helping the environment can help save you some coin.
If you think about it, the vast majority of the water we “use” is really only polluted at some level. Some is practically as good as when it came out of the faucet and some less so.
Here is how you save water. Buy some large plastic barrels (about 5 of them) and put them somewhere convenient in your house. Think about the different things we use water for. We use it it brush our teeth, bath, wash vegetables, water the lawn. Not all of these things require perfectly clean water.
Label your barrels 1 - 5 where 1 is the cleanest water and 5 is the dirtiest. Now seal the drains on all of the sinks in your house. You can use fresh water to brush your teeth for example but that water that lands in the sink isn’t really all that dirty (using cheap baking soda for toothpaste helps keep it cleaner). When you are done brushing, bail that water out and put it in bucket #1. That water can be used for something like cleaning. You will have to use your good judgement and imagination but the idea is to use water and then put it into the next highest bucket where it is ready for use for something that requires less clean water than the last.
Bucket number 5 will contain all kinds of things so it is time to dispose of it by watering the lawn or the dog. You can also shut off the water to your toilets and fill the tanks manually with water from bucket #5.
Following this system can save up to literally tens of dollars a year if it is adhered to religiously.
Or better yet, get a whole gang of people doing this and sell the bird feed. Before long, you’ll have a monopoly on the bird-feed industry. Everyone knows monopolies are the only real way to make money.
Might, I say, Rigamarole, what an honor it is to meet someone of such perspicacity, such lofty ambition, and possessing such keenly refined business instincts? Perhaps you would do me the indulgence of accepting this paper napkin, upon which is most carefully scripted my resume, in error-free longhand? I’d be most appreciative. And please , don’t hesitate to summon me for even the most trivial of tasks with which you may need assistance, as I am at your service.
Remember, participating in medical trials provides you not only with a hefty cheque, but free screening for a variety of medical conditions, and several days of free room and board!