Outside voice: (none)
Inside: Bring in the bags.
Boss’s outside voice: How are you coming along on that project?
Boss’s inside voice: Do you ever do any work?
My outside voice: Almost done, I should have everything to you in a couple days.
My inside voice: Better stop posting for a while, almost got caught that time.
Ex-husband: While you’re at the courthouse, can you get a copy of the decree for me?
Inside voice: Are you serious?
Outside voice: Get it yourself, you lazy bastard, you only work two blocks away.
Customer : “Can you make a key to my car I lost mine?”
Outer Voice:" Sure would be glad to."
Inner Voice" what kinda F**king moron only has one key?"
Cutsomer:" Why charge so much to unlock my car. It only took you 30 seconds?"
Outer voice:" well, I have been doing this for 10 years."
Inner voice: “Stinking carpet munching sniveling cunt fungus, have you seen what you husband the plumber charges for a clogged sink?”
sigh ok myabe I am a bit bitter.
side note: Wally glad you back and healthy.
I know now not to read your posts and drink at the same time. I do so hate to waste good alcohol by laughing so damn hard it comes out my nose. but hey my sinus problem has cleared!!
Oh your from Wales?? Do you know a fella named Jonah?? He used to live in whales for a while.
Outside voice - Certainly sir, I’ll completely redesign the entire electrical system and take out the one I’ve just installed for you-no problemo.
Inside voice-Geez why can’t this putz make his mind up?
Accountants inner voice- Rack em up!!
I thought this was all about hearing voices inside, which would have made it all even for all of us. You know, that hearing voices kinda a thing…aka SonofSam
handy, I guess Son O’ Sam (makes him sound kinda Irish, doesn’t it? 
) couldn’t tell the inside from the outside!
aseymayo: I just snorted coke on the key pad again, but * this time it was because of you! * ‘la la la’ on the inside! 
Last night I tore my older son’s room to shreds trying to fix something, as my younger son prepared to go to bed in this same messy room, he comments on the mess I left:
** inside: ** ‘ya know, you COULD HAVE stopped playing video games and helped, so shut up!’
** outside: ** “I’m sorry things are so hectic in here.”
- Oh, the hypocrisy of it all!! *
“I never saw so many words compressed into so small an idea.” Abraham Lincoln
As my girlfriend sings along with every goddamn song there is, whether its the radio or a TV commercial…
outer voice: “Babe, could you please stop singing, I really like this song.”
inner voice: “JESUS!! If that band wanted your voice in their song, they would have asked for you to sing.”
GFriend outer voice: “But its how I express myself.”
GFriend inner voice: “Flowers and Kittens and Children with Mittins…lalalala…”
my outer voice: “Ok, but do you need to express yourself with the Mr. Clean theme song?”
my inner voice: “How pathetic is that? You can’t express yourself any other way than by mimicing other peoples songs?”
GFriend outer voice: “But, but…nevermind.”
GFriend outer voice: “Stupid guy, he’ll never understand. No sex for him.”
My outer voice: “I’m sorry, its just annoying.”
my inner voice: “You don’t even know most of the words and you can’t sing anyway!! Hmmm, this probally means no lovin tonight.”
::::10 minutes later:::::
GFriends outer voice: “Mr. Clean, Mr Clean…”
Thats the truth and anyone who has heard otherwise has been misinformed.
(telephone rings)
Outer voice: Hello?
Inner voice: This had fucking well better not be a telemarketer.
Caller: Hello, is Christienne there?
Outer voice: Speaking…
Inner voice: No. She died. Got run over by a truck.
Caller: I have your application for a platinum Visa card with 8.9% APR on the desk in front of me, and I just need to verify some information. You’re current address is (gives address)?
Outer voice: I’m sorry, I’m not interested.
Inner voice: But the state Attorney General’s office will be, if you keep calling this number!
Caller: Are you sure? We are offering… (lengthy spiel)
Inner voice: Why in the hemmorhaging buttfuck are you still listening to this dipshit? Hang up, dammit!
Outer voice: No, I’m not at all interested.
Inner voice: Are you listening to me? Dis-conn-ect! Can you say that? Sure you can!
Caller: All right then, good-bye.
Outer voice: Good-bye.
Inner voice: Fuck you.
(Hangs up)
Outer voice: Well, I guess we showed them, didn’t we?
Inner voice: Oh, shut up.
Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.
Outer voice: Of course, I have no problem with that.
Inner voice: You imposing jerk, do it yourself.
Inner voice #2: Oh shit, get me out of here!
Inner voice #3: I’ll take over, I’ve dealt with this type before.
Inner voice #1: Oh, no you don’t. The last time we hardly were able to hide the blood stains.
Inner voice #2: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Inner voice #3: I’m coming out!
Inner voice #4: Oh no you don’t, I’m going to take over. I’m a magical astronaut, after all.
Inner voice #2: Oh my God, I can’t deal with this now. I’m going…
Outer voice: There. All done. Can I have a lollipop?
Peace.
Anti Pro, my father’s name is Sam, I’m actually Son of Sam. Being deaf, I don’t hear outside voices [well, not clearly], but inside voices come in loud & clear.
But then, it’s only insanity if you change to that channel.