“Enjoy social media. Marry and reproduce.” This thing sounds like the aliens from They Live.
“Only sociopaths give the middle finger to the tits.”
“If we can’t spy on other people, we can’t pussyfoot around our asses.”
“Die.” With a picture of a business-suited man holding a white umbrella in front of his face.
Finally a good one:
“Embrace the logic. Not the whining.”
(Background is a picture of a guy on work clothes, arms crossed, in a sort of graffiti lined alley.)
“No double penetration, no social status.”
“Don’t you think that bad ideas can become scary when you become president?” Yes. Yes, I do.
“Murder will trigger the rapture.” Holy shit, dude.
“Horny? Why not buy yourself a fancy dinner?”
“Screw everybody.” With a guy raising a miniature American flag. That’s American foreign policy in a nutshell.
“No marriage for you!”
“History is often like a burning house… Seriously not cool”
“Together we can make the power of the government flop.”
Mindfullness mode gave me a nice little parable.
A long time ago there was a poor woodsman who was walking around in
the town square in search of contraceptives, when he ran into a seer. “Can
you tell me where to find contraceptives?” he asked the seer. The seer
thought long and hard, and then she said: “Contraceptives is only in death.”
The woodsman groped the seer. Then he murdered her and dumped her
body in a well. The following day as he was complaining about the field, the
woodsman understood everything: Blessed is a student who challenges his
cart. And he was happy for the rest of his life
Thus endith the lesson.
I think I got one that was intended for The Orange One Who Must Not Be Named:
"News channels are figments of your imagination."
And if this one makes sense to you then its a sign you are doing it wrong:
"How can you know that a whore is not a proctologist?"
Inspiration for Crohn’s patients:
"Ignore Intestines."
“Shut the fuck up, or at least don’t become a politician.” Finally, something we agree on!
With a picture of a guy and girl kissing on a beach, feet in the water:
“Lay down. Be you. Come. Be a man.”
Just when you think Artificial Intelligence is making great strides:
“You can make it so that a virgin wakes up in a hospital.”
I don’t think we have to fear the machines anytime soon if this is what’s on their minds.
With a pair of aged hands on a piano: “Don’t make love. You’re better than that.”
“Coalminers. They can wear you, they can slap a sticker on you, and they can also attract you.”
“Robots and enemies! Come together for your common goal, nuclear war!” Oh, shit, did I just wake up SkyNet?
“An afterlife is a brother. It is also a brother.”
Has Dave been pulling out the memory modules again?
A picture of a guy holding up an umbrella over his head, in which a mysterious red mist floats: “You have always been an idiot.”
“To get attention, there is only one option: Go public and drink laundry detergent.” Hey, I know I’m a Millenial, but I’m not that kind of Millenial.
“Try to see some beauty in a prostitute.” ~I had a dream my life would be/So different from this hell I’m living~
“Masturbation is unforgivable, no matter how much you believe in yourself.” Hey, in my case, it’s that or pick up some chick at a bar.
“ONLY WHEN YOU SEE YOUR OWN FAMILY, WILL YOU MEET ART.”
A. Stop screaming at me! Too many of these are in all caps.
B. I don’t have anyone named “Art” in my family.