But all he’d likely do is move to another bar after he’s had a few, if the 1st bartender cuts him off. If he’s been drinking as long and heavily as he says, he may not even initially appear drunk to the next bartender.
Have you considered asking your doctor to prescribe disulfiram (Anrabuse) for you? This is a small pill that you take once a day, for the next 12-24 hours you get very uncomfortable (nausea, fast heartbeat , etc.) – enough that you will soon learn that you must not drink after you have taken it. (Or learn that you should pretend to your wife that you have taken it, but really don’t.)
This might be a way to train yourself to not drink. And it doesn’t involve replacing alcohol addiction with an addiction to going to meetings asking an imaginary friend in the sky to cure you. It’s not cheap (about $9 per pill), but the interlock devices seem costly too, and fairly easily bypassed. To say nothing of the cost of a DWI conviction or a car accident. Might be worth considering.
This works for me. Cannabis each evening, along with anywhere from one to I forget how many drinks, either at home or at a brewpub with my gf.
This is why the suggestion is a bad idea. If the OP is getting blackout drunk, then this scenario sets him up for getting arrested for yelling at the bartender and fighting the bouncers because he is “not that drunk” and can be served more. And then he finds another bar that will serve him.
Just to add to the chorus, I have personal experience with not even realizing someone was drunk when they were in fact blackout drunk. A good friend of mine had a daytime house party for her birthday. My dude and I came late because we had another thing that day, so my friend had already been drinking. But she greeted us at the door, showed us around (it was her grandparents’ house; we’d never been there), and we laughed, talked, and played beer pong for hours. She seemed fine. Apparently she went to bed early shortly after we left.
The next day she apologized for passing out before we got there. I was completely taken aback. I showed her pictures I took of us hanging out. Someone had brought a dog and he kept pulling beers out of the ice bucket with his mouth, which was hilarious; I managed to snap a photo. Didn’t ring a bell. It was scary. She had seemed totally fine.
I knew a guy in college who got wicked hangovers after parties. I passed along some advice I’d heard—have a drink, then drink a glass of water. He said it helped. And that could help you slow down.
Also you can check what levels you’re hitting with a tester from amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/bestsellers/hpc/15992781
Also, our car came with an aftermarket cutoff. They cut a wire near the driver’s knee, put in a thing…you pull out the “key” which is a piece of metal about the size of a razor blade. Removing it breaks the circuit and you can’t start the car. Hand that to your wife for safe keeping and you won’t be driving that car.
Sorry if I missed it up thread but I wonder about the drinking before you get home…are you driving drunk to get home?
Good luck!
I was thinking it as I was reading the thread. Since I was 16 I had been a renowned imbiber with an awe-inspiring tolerance. Started on the reefer in my 40s when recreational became legal (curiosity as much as anything else) and, well, now I’ve got liquor bottles that haven’t been opened in years. There is just zero impulse to go there, and I really don’t like how I feel after even one drink anymore. Now and then I might get a 6-pack of something artsy but I end up giving 5 of them away to guests. It helps that public smoking isn’t much of a thing–it’s not like you can order a couple bong hits at a steakhouse, or go shoot pool while nursing a joint. It’s just a completely different ritual.
Bonus : a non-inebriating dose of MJ can help a LOT with chronic pain.
There really is a thing called harm reduction.
In that spirit, I’ll offer this article:
And cast my lot with those who think that MJ may be a good substitute for you … if you can use it that way (instead of, not in addition to).
As a human being who’s been around a while, I’ve borne witness to the evils of addiction too many times.
You have all my best wishes for success in this process.
I am an atheist and a member of A.A. Sent you a PM.
I haven’t been to an A.A. meeting in a few years but am still sober. The stuff in A.A. doesn’t require a god and it does work if you follow through. If you want to talk let me know.
Slee
17 years sober
@Lucas_Jackson, I’m sorry that I have no real advice to offer, and mainly I just want to add to other sentiments here to express my respect for your frank acknowledgment of the problem and your desire to fix it, which I’m certain can be done.
As an aside, you said upthread that “I have degraded discs in my back. Also sciatica. My md explained that she doesn’t wire pain scripts - period”. (I assume “wire” is a typo for “write”.) I would consider this outright malpractice – failing to fulfill the fundamental mission of a medical professional.
Beyond that I can mainly just say that you have my respect for wanting to better yourself and my sympathies for the difficult road ahead.
One thing I will add, though, although one must keep in mind that every individual circumstance is different and there is no “one size fits all” solution. I’ve made allusions in a humourous style in some of my posts to “having a vat of wine with dinner” and such things, but the non-funny reality is that I really do drink too much, certainly more than is healthy. But with regard to driving, I find it hard to understand the need for a voluntary interlock. I simply have an iron-clad rule: more than one drink = no driving. No matter what. In other than ideal road conditions, the rule is “no drinks, period”.
It may sound simplistic to the point of being ridiculous, but one thing about our behaviours is that after a while they become ingrained. After many years, the idea of driving while actually drunk is to me just inconceivable. It’s like jumping off a cliff: you just don’t do it, ever. I’ve often had a few drinks and then suddenly got the urge for a fast-food burger or something else that requires a short drive for a pickup, and my internal dialogue just automatically says “oh, well, can’t be done”. Please don’t take any unnecessary risks if you feel you can’t control yourself, but perhaps you can condition yourself to do this.
Sounds like you have a lot of self-discipline. Speaking from experience, asking an alcoholic to practice self discipline isn’t very realistic. One drink, and all my good intentions go out the window. My brain is different.
Is there any scientific evidence that the alcoholic brain is different? Or is that just AA woo and pseudoscience
Here’s just one paper:
It’s a bit late, but I would like to retract my earlier “bullshit DNA excuse” comment and apologize for it.
Reading this thread makes me think that’s the main problem. If the OP has zero control (or memory) over if he drives while drunk then trying to add a mechanical barrier is not going to stop him from engaging in dangerous behavior. The fact that he’s seeking higher doses of opiates as well is troubling. Trying to find things to mitigate the behavior without touching the overall alcoholism will be a bandaid at best.
As an alternative to AA try SMART recovery, based very much on self-management using cognitive therapy techniques (rational emotive therapy is the big influence.) I quit drinking a year ago almost to the day, and that helped me most. I didn’t really glom with AA (not for religious reasons so much as others), but everyone’s path to recovery is different. AA works well for many; it wasn’t for me. Others like Revovery Dharma. I like SMART. There are several options out there—it isn’t all 12-step.
To be fair, it sounds like he has a legitimate need for painkillers, and from what I’ve read, 5 mg of oxycodone really is very little (Mayo Clinic suggests dosages for new users start at 5-15 mg up to 4 or 5 times a day). Doctors are notoriously conservative about prescribing painkillers.
OTOH, my understanding is that alcohol affects some of the same areas of the brain as opiates, creating a similar feeling of well-being, at least in many individuals. IANAD, but it does seem to suggest that those subject to alcohol addiction may be exceptionally vulnerable to opiate addiction.
I’m well aware of chronic pain. I’ve had daily back pain for years until I finally had surgery recently. I took 5mg oxy for about a two weeks post surgery and none before. I was very careful to discontinue as soon as I could. I don’t have an addiction problem but I was still extremely careful. Someone who does have an addiction problem needs to be extremely careful.
I think we’re basically in agreement here, but I did want to emphasize the point about doctors often being excessively conservative about prescribing narcotic painkillers. There is unquestionably an opiate epidemic in our society. But the aforementioned conservative reluctance on the part of medical professinals is also a fact.
The best GP I’ve ever had – and considered myself very lucky to have him until he retired – was a very experienced GP who was also head of the department of family practice at a major hospital. The man was incredible – an amazing diagnostician – he could often tell what was wrong with you with a single touch, and was invariably correct. But he subscribed to the opiate conservatism. When I had a broken rib that put me in such pain that I almost passed out, this doctor prescribed Tylenol-3. It was only after enduring a sleepless night of incredible pain, and returning to this doctor’s office the next day in a sort of sleepless rage, that he reluctantly prescribed Demerol. Which worked. So why not prescribe it in the first place?
A.A. is more effective than any other stand alone treatment.