Interesting offer...

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

I just got this email:

I’m having some financial hard times, so three and a half million dollars could really help me. He’s probably just using the term “your country” to seem personal - he wants the discussion to be personal, about me and him - rather than macroeconomic. I get the impression that he has my best interests at heart.

He also seems like a rather moral character. He says the transaction will have “nothing to do with illicit materials”. I’m glad; I wouldn’t want to do anything that would harm the integrity of my country. He also isn’t one for “kidding around”, indicating that he wants the gravity of this transaction to be taken seriously.

What are your thoughts? I’m thinking of going for it.

#2

The dude signs his name with “Esq” so you know he has got to be legit. Please see if he is interested in any additional business partners.

#3

I love the lazy scammers, spammers, and phishers - their ineptitude is hilarious:

“Helo, this is Comerse Bank, rcntly we aded new sekurity feetures to our system & u must update by cliking on ths link and entering your paswrd, accnt numer, and soshal security number -Thnks Comersse Bank Securitee”

#4

I always use business partners that use only a yahoo.com email address. He said it has nothing to do with illicit materials, I bet he’s legit.

#5

I dunno, man. I’d find out where he went to law school. You’ve gotta be sure his legal education was good enough to give him the tools he needs to enact lucrative international trade agreements. You don’t want to get all into this and then the US goes and whips out a trade embargo against the country because their toys are painted with materials that contain strychnine or something.

Also, look into his family. I’d be wary of dealing with anyone whose parents named their son “Dominique.” Could have caused some long-term mental issues, y’know.

#6

True, and it makes it all the more astonishing that some complete suckers do in fact fall for the scam.

#7

I am appalled that we seem to live in such a bitter, twisted and cynical age that even simple proposals like this are met with such doubt and suspicion. What have we come to, what dark shadows lurk in our hearts, that we must forever be so snide and suspicious when well-meaning people reach out to us and offer to share their good fortune with us?

It is very likely that this ‘Dominique’ fellow is honest and hard-working, and simply wants to offer you a straightforward business transaction that will net you 3.5 million dollars. This is quite common, and nothing to get nasty and suspicious about. If there were any illicit materials involved, that would be an entirely different matter, but there aren’t (it say so, right there in the letter… are you all blind?!) so you can relax knowing that it’s all on the level. If you miss out on this marvellous opportunity, I expect you’ll regret it later on.

#8

I think you should go for it, but if you don’t, please forward me his email. I was just thinking last night about a few things I need and coincidentally they came to just under $3.5M, so that would be perfect.

Thanks.

#9

Seriously! Dominique has been very frank, and to the point. He explicitly stated that he has little time for small talks, and is not kidding. Scammers typically say things like “I have time to dick around, and this is total bullshit.” Spotting a scam can be tricky, but after seeing enough of them, you know what to look for. Please come back and tell us what you’ve done with the money, Bith!

#10

You’re probably right. But after that last deal I had going with an unfortunate member of a royal family who was trapped and needed to get some money out of the country to protect it from a rapacious extended family appealing decisions in a will went south after he was brutally assassinated, I get a little skittish. I know it wasn’t the guy’s fault, he had some evil relatives who just wanted all the money to themselves and killed him to get it, so I can’t get angry that I lost a couple hundred grand on the deal, but I just can’t go throwing that kind of money around every day. You just gotta be a little careful and make sure things are on the up and up. I’m sure this guy is just trying to get some good international will going with some lucrative and mutually beneficial trade of perfectly harmless goods.

#11

You heard him. Don’t waste his time and kid around. Don’t sign your emails “Charles Manson”, or claim you have keyboard Tourette’s, or ask him if he’s a certified capriphillic dissembler (you don’t do business with uncertified ones). Certaintly don’t keep going back to your boss, who takes ages to answer questions, whenever he asks you to do something. And use regular Western Union instead of dodgy money transfer sites like this (the baiter puts in the details here).

Really. Don’t.

#12

I think you’re all missing a very important point here: it’s “*atleast *US$3.5M” - it could be even more!

#13

To paraphrase George Carlin: Think about just how dumb the average person is. And then realize that half the people you see are dumber than that!

#14

I find the Yahoo! address particularly trustworthy.

By using a free e-mail address, they’re obviously smart about money, and they can pass the savings onto you, the customer!

Besides, nobody would do something untrustworth this close to Christmas, especially not in your country, so you should definitely go for it.

#15

You know what is sort of scary?

I would be willing to bet that dopers of negotiable honesty could put together a nigerian scam that would appear perfectly legal, and would at surface value check out … web page with a serious sounding name, email to match, proper wording without the nigerianisms … and would sound reasonably logical - not millions of dollars, but something smaller.

#16

No, I’m pretty sure that at least three-quarters of the people I see are dumber than average.

Wait. That didn’t come out right.

#17

Just checking - really - but you’re aware that there’s nothing absurd about that idea? The idea that 3/4 if the people that you see are dumber than average?

#18

Better yet, why don’t you go ahead and forward it to everyone in your contact list? I’m sure they’ll also appreciate the opportunity.

#19

Hmm, I could afford to supplement my income. I usually employ the term “morally flexible,” but “of negotiable honesty” works just the same.

#20

Yes. :wink: