The other day a friend of mine, Dirty Devil, commented that he saw posts of mine all over the board and “What, was I posting all day at work, then all night when I got home?”.
I answered him simply, “Yes”.
He said, “Damn dude, you’re an internet ho!”
Well, after consulting some other friends on the subject, I got a variety of answers. Most of them were like, “Yup, me too. I really should get out more often!”
So, my question is: What is a reasonable amount of time to spend online? What are the social/psychological/biological implications of internet “overuse”? What do my online friendships mean? Are they as valid as my IRL friendships(a term which I have always hated, since many of my online friends I consider as close as IRL friends). Do I need to “cut back” and give my keyboard a rest? Should i stop posting this and go take a walk? What do ya think?
“It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.”
I’m not the kind of person you want to spout her opinion, but you’re going to get it anyway.
Nothing bothers me more than people who prefer the company of electronic devices (computers, televisions, Nintendo (aka Nofriendo), etc. to human contact. The way things are going Farhenheit 451 isn’t going to be science fiction for much longer.
It doesn’t sound like you’re one of those people at all, but if you’re concerned about your use, you probably should cut back a little.
I know when I was a computer junkie (all day at work, all night at home), I forgot how to talk and deal with people. I got so sick of missing cool stuff in real life that I donated that computer to Goodwill (and won’t get another one at home until I’m sure I can control my use). Recently, my roommate and I got rid of our television.
Now we listen to or play music, dominoes or Scrabble and take walks or go to a club at night. My happiness, concentration and energy levels have soared.
Get rid of the junk for a week and see how you feel!
Exactly, Melanie. People ask me all the time when I’m going to get a PC for home. All I can say is, “It ain’t gonna happen anytime soon. I have one at work and that’s more than enough.”
So, what’s the right amount of time to spend on the 'net? Well, the work day is 8 or 10 hours, so a good balance is 7 to 9. Hah!
“That it is unwise to be heedless ourselves while we are giving advice to others, I will show in a few lines.” - Phaedrus, translator of Aesop’s Fables
I confess, I’m a Ho, too. I post from work, I have ICQ on the work puter. When I get home I fire up the pc. I may not be sitting there, but it is pretty much always on. I think internet friendships mean what you want them too. I have friends I talk to just to say hi, I have family and I have met the best group of party friends online. (Moving to a new town, it helped making friends quicker than you would expect, I think.) Reversely, I have met people while out in clubs and gotten their nicks and /or email and just talk a bit here and there, say hi, etc. I think if I had a SO, I would probably spend less time online(and more time in the budoir), but after 9 pm, when the kiddies are asleep, it is my company and I rather enjoy it. If you are OK with it, then who cares what anyone else thinks?
Then Holley held Miss Spider’s hand…
I’ll say no more, you understand.
For private moments between spiders
Should not be witnessed by outsiders.
-David Kirk- Miss Spider’s Wedding
Well, I’m online more than I should be at work (umm, I AM getting all my work done, in case I’m being monitored . . .).
But when I get home, I’m totally unplugged: no E-mail, no Internet access. Like Robinson Crusoe; it’s primitive as can be! I like receding into my little cocoon when I get home from work and being unreachable. I even screen my phone calls.
Internet Ho… nah I dont think so Dem. I dont do a whole lot during the week as my son goes to bed early and also cuz I’m tired. I deal with kids and the public all day long, and having some space to myself is something I am quite selfish about I guess. I dont have that big of a desire to watch t.v., other than a few shows. So… I log on to the net.
I enjoy, for the most part the people I have met online, and I agree, I consider them my “real life” friends. People have to remember that behind every “net name” is a real person with real emotions, something that is quite often forgotten.
The other thing is that in a lot of ways, it saves me money. Last year I went to CA to see PCW and she also came here, I also went down to the east coast to travel with two girlfriends as well as stopping in Iowa on my way back to visit with a close friend. Most of our planning was done in Mplayer which is a voice chat. We saved a ton on long distance phone bills planning these trips, plus the group of us could get together and compare notes and make suggestions to each other. After the trips, we had a great time filling our other “friends” in on our adventures.
There arent many people I would call in the middle of the night when I’m sitting up stressed after my son has had a seizure and there is no way I can sleep because I’m worried, etc… but I have had times where my online friends have stayed up with me all night, just to be there for me.
I go out with friends from where I live as often as I did before I used to sign on so i dont feel I’m missing anything. This
girl may be a yakker, but she’s no one’s ho
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
Thanks for all the advice everyone. I will ponder it deeply. I just got a new roomate, so I think I’ll be a little more active in the evenings. This should help take care of some of those guilty feelings.
“It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.”
BTW, that reply will cost ya $250. Cashier’s check or money order…
Then Holley held Miss Spider’s hand…
I’ll say no more, you understand.
For private moments between spiders
Should not be witnessed by outsiders.
-David Kirk- Miss Spider’s Wedding
A very interesting set of questions. I’ll probably very expressive in a wishy washy manner. First, everyone is different, so too much for one person is not enough for another. I will try to aim at generalities.
First, does it impact your life negatively? Are you spending work time online, to the detriment of your job? Do you neglect your wife/SO/kids/pets/etc so you can get a few more minutes online? Do you spend so much time online that you don’t get enough sleep, and are constantly worn out? If so, it’s too much.
Do you have a reasonable balance, so you are not affecting work, health, other relationships/needs? Then it comes in the realm of what are your interests. If you like sports, or fishing, or some other activity, you have to balance the fun of online vs. those other interests. Whatever they are.
What about online friendships? Are they as valid as IRL? Well, that depends. If you’re as reclusive as Angela Bennett in The Net, where nobody knows you at all, then you need to get out more. However, sometimes net friends can be valuable and close. I have an email buddy in LA - I’ve only met her once in person, but I feel comfortable sharing important information, and we’ve been corresponding for 3 years now.
Some people have mentioned the evils of television, Nintendo, computer games, etc. Again there needs to be balance. A little is probably okay, but is that all you do?
Think about this: if you were to reflect on your life at the age of 90, would you say to yourself, “Damn, I should have watched more TV, I shoulda played Nintendo more, I shoulda been online more,”? Those aren’t the things people tend to think of as important, when put in those terms. You reflect on spending more time with loved ones. You think of learning, of having more impact, of enjoying life in a variety of ways. So put it in those terms. Are you getting out of it enough enjoyment that it balances with the time commitment? (For me, um, well, uh, gee, do I have to answer that?)
I like to watch television. I find it fun, and it’s nice to relax after working all day and not have to worry or concentrate on problems, just enjoy. On the other hand, for a while I had no life, no social interactions away from work, and was a couch potato. I have changed. I cut back on TV. I still watch some shows, but no longer watch and tape simultaneous shows every night of the week. I have picked up other hobbies/activities that keep me busy two or three nights a week. I like to read, and have three or four magazines I fight to keep up with, plus online info gathering. It’s only lately I’ve gotten involved with this board, and I’m probably a little more involved than I “should” be. On the other hand, I like the exchanges of information, and I’m about to actually meet some people IRL - maybe even make some new friends to do things besides trade messages.
The overuse of computer communication has the potential shown by sci-fi of making a culture of social recluses who only interact online. However, I don’t think that’s realistic. There will always be some who don’t get it. Some who enjoy other activities more. Some who like to cuddle while they talk. (Any takers?) I just don’t think it’s going to have that bad of an influence. The ones who get too wrapped up in computers to have a life will get their genes eliminated (natural selection in action), and the rest of us will go on.
Ok I will admit it…I am an internet junkie. I have turned down dates in real life to play on the net with my online friends…but geezzz it is sooooo much easier to clean jello off the chat room walls, than it ever was out of my living room carpet!
Seriously tho, I go where I enjoy the company… right now my online friends have way more imagination and humour than my real life ones. Maybe that is sad…or maybe not, coz I have met alot of great people I probably never would have had the opportunity to meet. Most of people I ended up meeting in real life and have had some of the best times of my life.
So is it bad?? I would say only if it affects your job, family life, or you are miserable doing it, but you are afraid to go out and do anything else.
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
I find that I spend more time on the computer online in the winter time than I do in the summer. Probably because of cabin fever…not being able to be outside. It’s very easy to get addicted. Usually if you have to ask yourself if you are spending too much time online…then you are. I know I do.
Irishman-Don’t say I didn’t warn you, you’re hooked on MPSIMS, go on admit it.
fuzzy-wuzzy- I agree with you I am on much much more in the winter months, during the summer you could hardly keep me in the house, let alone sitting in one chair.
If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle.
-Spanish Proverb
PCW- I feel very much the way you do about “friends”. There are so many wonderful people that I have met here and elsewhere. Not to mention I am actually interacting with many of these people via the SD get togethers(of which there will be many more around here, I feel).
I don’t consider myself to be an addict. (Sure, that’s what they all say, right?) I don’t have a computer of my own, so I use the campus Mac lab. I drop by when I have a little time to kill between classes, or after class when I have nothing to do. I live in a very boring small town, I don’t have a lot of money, and I don’t have many real-life friends (never have, even when I wasn’t on line), so I don’t think I’m missing very much. Once the profs get into full-swing homework-wise, you should start seeing less of me. Besides, I spent a whole month completely net-free over break, and I didn’t experience any cramping, diarrhea, nausea, or any other withdrawal symptoms! So, really, the only reason I’m here as much as I am is that I have nothing better to do.
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.
Nah Dem, you’re not an internet ho. As long as the Internet isn’t the most important thing in your life I wouldnt worry.
Right now, I do spend quite a bit of time on the net, but that’s because all of my friends from school are still on vacation, so I don’t have too much to do. I generally only really go on during the evening hours, and i cut myself off around 12:30 am to go watch TV, and then go to bed :). When school starts up next week I won’t be online as much, ecause of homework, and all that.
This reminds me of when I was in my health class last year. My professor was “concerned” that I was addicted to the internet, because I spent a lot of time on my schools MB (only maybe a half hour or so total there). She would joke about it in front of the entire class. So, I emailed her telling her I was not, and that if I was, I would most definately not be showing up to her class.
It’s worth the risk of burning, to have a second chance…
I have been on this puppy for a little over a year – from the time I get home from work until I go to bed. I cut back on weekends when hubby’s home, or if my vision starts to blur.
I still remember the feeling – almost awe – that came over me when that msn home page popped up for the first time. It’s a cliche, but I did feel “connected.”
I stop for NYPD Blue and for bodily functions, and that’s about it. Someone told me the novelty will wear off. They didn’t give me a date or I’d be watching for it.
I don’t get on-line at work except to check the weather. If I were really addicted, I’d be on at work more, I think.
Then again, I live in a small town in Iowa. It’s not like there’s a lot going on – corn bingo, anyone?
You never struck me as a narrow, Internet addicted gibbering wreck. It’s pretty individual, and my guess is your own excellent common sense is the best guide.
BTW, I echo the sentiments above. (They said it better, but what the whoop…) The level of intelligence, wit and experience here is pretty unusual. So having found a place chock-full of interesting, funny people, why worry unduly about enjoying the hell out of it?
Besides, judging from the photographs and besotted (pun intended) accounts of the Doper meeting you were at, you function just fine in person. Balance your time here a little if you think it’s a good idea, but the guilt/worry stuff is seriously overrated.
And I do so enjoy watching other posters beat the stuffings out of you in chat. ::smacks Demo with trout::
