Struggling with my internet addiction - anyone else?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Like the thread title says - I have an addiction to the internet, mostly in the form of social media sites but also including game sites and film sites like YouTube.

It is made more difficult because a computer is the most useful tool I have for my writing, and because I need to maintain a social media presence to promote/sell my music and my performing skills.

On days when it goes unchecked, I can waste hours at a time just monkey clicking and scrolling. Even on days when I’m aware that I have other things I need to get done, I can get sucked in.

And when I say ‘addiction’, I really mean it - I mean that I come away acutely conscious of the fact that I have other, better ways of spending my time. Those other things to do may simply be things like reading a book or listening to music; they may be work related things like practicing an instrument or singing; they may be practical things like writing letters or e-mail to organizations that might hire me, or taking care of my finances.

I don’t call it ‘procrastination’ - to me, that’s avoiding an unpleasant task. Other people may use the word differently. No, this is avoiding pleasant tasks or even pastimes, for reasons I find difficult to define. I use the word ‘addiction’ because it’s no longer even enjoyable to me.

I have two key things which I am using to reduce my addictive internet usage. Number one is - no screens an hour before bedtime, and no screens until at least an hour after waking. Number two is - put the computer to sleep or shut it down while you decide what task to do next.

Negative effects of this addiction - there’s the obvious ‘time wasted’ factor. I’m also finding too much internet is having an averse effect on my ability to concentrate. My reading over the last couple of years has included books like ‘Stolen Focus’ by Johann Hari, and ‘Irresistible’ by Adam Alter, both books that expose the way in which corporations are using behavioural psychology into our own natures to keep us ‘engaged’ online.

How about the rest of you? Do any of you deal with a serious internet addiction, and what do you use to fight against it?

2

Yes! I could have written this, only I’m a fiction writer, not a musician. I have struggled with Internet use as long as I’ve had access to the Internet. I’ve read a dozen books about it. I read that the average person spends four hours a day online. I’ve clocked myself at twelve hours some days. I suspect my ADHD makes me particularly vulnerable to Internet overuse.

I kicked Facebook to the curb three years ago now, and ended reddit in October. The only social media left is the Dope. I still have a problem scrolling news feed, so I started using Pocket to at least curate my reading.

I used to use Rescue Time primarily to control my browsing and to track how much I was writing. I’ve yet to find a really effective solution for my phone, but I just paid $36 for the Break Up With Your Phone text-based course. I’ll let you know how that goes.

I think I’m not as bad as I used to be. I’m crawling in bed at 8:30pm these days with my phone charging in the kitchen. I don’t touch the Internet in the morning until I’m done with my entire morning routine, including meditation.

But I still spend time on my phone where I’d rather be doing something else.

3

I’ve decided the only way is to cut off, cold turkey, just say no.

As we’re not really able to do that, it’s like eating if you’re food addicted. You have to eat. But you have to change your habitual eating. And internet usage.
I think, OP, you’re moving in the right direction. In a couple weeks add to the morning delay and the evening stoppage. You’ll eventually get to a manageable length of internet time. By the time you pay bills and order stuff and check on important things you’ll have minimal time for fun and games.

4

Same. I, too, could have written the OP, except I’m not an artist.

5

One thing that helped me was trying to figure out what I did want in my life, rather than what I didn’t, and then make it a habit to include those things. I used the self-care app Finch to set up and practice a morning routine. Now I have the routine down so well I don’t check into the app until after the routine is complete.

I was also like, hey, I want sleep. I want to read. So then I started a bedtime routine that begins with me plugging in my phone to charge in the kitchen. I made it fun, I splurged a little and bought a Hatch, which is a wakeup light alarm you can program for morning and evening routines. I just hit the big button on my Hatch when I crawl into bed and it starts with the music and mood lighting and I spend a good hour or more reading before bed. I’ve also developed a Starting Work ritual (I WFH four days a week.) Before I start work, I have tea and light a candle.

The key for me has been making routines out of what I want to do.

6

I’ve got it pretty bad. I’m one who ends up with literally 40 or 50 tabs open, and a self-imposed obligation to read them all.

One thing I think about is how often reading one thing with intention leads to reading other things without intention. A practice of never clicking on a link-within-a-link might be useful. Of course hyperlinks are kind of the point of the whole internet, but you don’t have to click on them. If only I could get the authors of my various newsletters to stop using so many.

7

I’m not addicted to the internet. I just use it to distract me from crippling loneliness.

8

Ouch! That’s hard to read, my friend!

You’re right, though - it’s not an addiction if it’s something you need. A diabetic can’t be addicted to insulin, for instance. And if the internet is what keeps you connected to fellow humans, then stay with it!

My experience is different, and that’s okay for both of us.

9

I’m often lonely, too. You wouldn’t think so because I live with two people, but I find it can strike anyone.

For me personally, I find it makes me more lonely, not less, to try to fill my loneliness with internet friends. It’s somewhat counterintuitive but I do better by myself, off-screen. But it’s hard not to try to fill that need when you have no immediate way to do it in meat space. I think of the hungry ghosts in Buddhist mythology, always striving for that something more but never being fulfilled, because the striving itself is what perpetuates the suffering.

10

I think this is because, in order to enjoy being by yourself, you have to be comfortable with yourself. I’m often alone, but seldom lonely. (I did not start off this post intending to throw in a sneak brag, but what can I do?)

11

One thing I have done recently is set daily time limits on social media apps. Of course, I could get to the end of my time and then change the settings and add more. but I haven’t done so, so it works.

Another good idea is to add a bedtime mode, so that my phone goes to black and white and notifications are off from 11 pm to 7 am.

On android devises, these are implemented in “Settings” / “Digital Wellbeing”.

12

I think the Stay Focused app for Android allows you to set it so that you can’t change settings or uninstall it in the middle of a block.

13

That’s the problem.

I figured out many years ago that if there was a television around, I was going to stare at it. So I stopped having a television. That worked.

But, although I figured out pretty fast that I’ve got the same problem with a computer, I can’t just not have a computer. Or even not have an online computer; because there are things in my life that I have to do online. And when I’m trying to do something on the computer that doesn’t need to be online, now that it’s how I do most of my paperwork – there it is, pulling at me. The one great advantage of dialup was that the computer wasn’t online most of the time; but dialup at this point would be entirely useless, if it’s even still available. And yes I can turn off the connection, but it’s too easy to turn it back on.

My phone is a flip phone with a screen too small for me to read anything much more than a phone number on; so it’s not tempting. And message boards are my only social media – but message boards, or even just one, can take an astonishing amount of time. The rest of it is ‘one more click . . . one more click . . .’

It’s not loneliness in the usual sense – though once I get to know people online I want to have some idea what’s going on with them. I have a really high tolerance for being physically alone, prefer it that way most of the time, and could arrange to see people IRL more often than I do. But I can have conversations online that I have little opportunity to have otherwise; and it’s important to me to be able to have that sort of conversation.

14

Yup. I was able to reduce some of the negative effects by getting off of Twitter and Facebook, so I’m no longer bombarded by negative messages all day. However, I still spend more time gazing at my phone than is healthy, and I have to force myself not to get too engaged in The Pit or Politics & Elections here. There are times I’m sitting up after midnight, knowing that I should be going to bed, reading “just one more” article or even just playing a phone game.

I used to plug my phone in downstairs at night, but when family members started having serious health issues, I started bringing it to my bedroom, though I charge it out of reach of the bed.

What I need is a recording of my mom telling me to “shut that thing off and go to bed!”

15

Doesn’t using all those apps defeat the purpose of cutting out onscreen time.

I see an ad for Calm or some such to help you sleep. How’s about turn the phone off and just sleep. I don’t get the self help to reduce phone and computer usage by using the phone and computer. :thinking:

16

I wondered if I had an addiction to the internet, but I’ve also thought of the times when I’ve had days without access to it (going on trips where I couldn’t get a signal) and as long as I had something else to do, I didn’t even think about it. So I clearly don’t.

I think that whatever people have that gets them hooked on things, I don’t have that. My problem has often been the opposite; I get into something, then get bored with it and leave it alone. I spend a lot of time on the SDMB because it’s convenient. I learn a lot, there is a lot here that’s interesting, and I can access it any time I want from my phone. But I also had a large gap where I wasn’t on here because my login got screwed up in the move to Discourse, and it seemed like such a hassle to fix it. So I didn’t bother for many months. And I was fine.

I’m very happy that I can just walk away or give up stuff if/when I need to.

17

I see your point, but when you have a genuine overuse problem, you’re going to be on your phone anyway. You might as well make it impossible to spend more than a certain amount of time on it. These apps function by allowing you a certain amount of app time, like, say, an hour a day. And after that hour has passed it’s physically impossible to override so you can’t go online anymore. This might be thought of as a harm reduction strategy. Harm reduction acknowledges that a user is going to use, but creates ways to reduce the harm of using. (You’ll see that in real life programs where people hand out clean needles to drug users to reduce the spread of HIV.)

Likewise, the point of Break Up With Your Phone text course is actually not about eliminating phone time but just being more mindful about it, and the creator figured she’d meet people where they are.

The problem for me is Straight Dope isn’t an app. I can’t block Chrome without blocking access to potentially important uses for Chrome, like, I dunno, looking up poison control. For a while I had it set up to open everything in Firefox Focus which automatically deletes user data, that way I had to log in to use the Straight Dope. It just now occurred to me that I should block Chrome and use Firefox Focus for everything including emergency Googling. Gonna think about that one a bit.

18

I get you. But Googling everything in your life that happens is not necessary. Sometimes dialling 911 in an emergency may be quicker.

I think people survived a bunch of years without Google. Apps, Firefox focus(whatever that is) Facebook, X, Reddit, Wikipedia and so so much YouTube.

I’m not immune to screens. I don’t do all that junk, tho’. Wouldn’t begin to know how.

I have the Dope, Giraffe board, a game I play. Rarely watch a YouTube unless it’s linked on the board. Never did Facebook, Twitter, X, or Reddit.
I do Google occasionally.

I don’t feel like I’ve missed out.

My kids and grandkids would go nuts with out their screens. It is sorta sad.
I pay exorbitant fees to keep Hughes net doing what’s needed around here. That is sad.

19

Firefox Focus is a Firefox browser designed for incognito browsing. It doesn’t save cookies or search history. It’s a popular choice for pornography I imagine. I used it because it would require me to log in to The Dope every time I used it.

I think what the OP is getting at though is that social media is an integral part of being an artist these days. I’ve encountered this as a writer and it’s put me off trying to publish for a while. For writers, you can’t rely on a fan base on social media because companies are constantly changing their algorithms, however you have to funnel them to your own website or newsletter somehow, so it is a requirement for making money. For memoirs, for example, publishers won’t even touch your manuscript unless you have an established platform online, an audience you can prove is engaged with you and ready to buy your book.

So some of us with social media problems are being challenged to use social media just a little bit every day to sell our art. It’s enough that I’ve given up on publishing for a while. I’m not saying I’ll never get there, but I can’t deal with being on social media right now.

20

I wouldn’t consider it addiction if you’re using for your business, be it art or real estate or whatever.
A CPA isn’t addicted to his calculator.
A chef isn’t addicted to his stove(knives, maybe😊)

If you’re in a business that requires social media and you’re adverse to it, I say you’re in the wrong business for you.

The OP is talking about veering into being distracted by many YouTube videos and clicking and clicking (his words “monkey clicking”), that have nothing to do with his employment. From what I can tell.
I suggest YouTube video viewing doesn’t increase your presence online to any helpful degree.