This is a great question, which nobody has tried to answer yet.
My issue is that when I bring up an easily observable dynamic, I get blanket denials and accusations that it’s all right-wing propaganda. It feels unpleasantly like being gaslit. Criticising it as too broad a brush, rather than denying it entirely, would be a much more constructive start to the conversation.
I daresay there are people out there who object to this, but it’s definitely not what I’m complaining about. I didn’t mean to imply there is nothing good or useful in these ideas; that’s not what I believe. I think it’s good and important to listen to people with personal experience in an issue. But there are also a lot of ways this principle can be dysfunctional: when people are told they aren’t allowed to criticise - or worse, not allowed to express an opinion on at all - a group they don’t belong to; but only if it’s a group considered more oppressed. When members of groups generally considered more privileged are not given the same chance to speak about problems relevant to them, or their problems are disregarded or minimised. When people use their trauma as a way to divert criticism or silence others.
I don’t think this is just a result of assholes abusing the system. I believe the problem is the abandonment of the principle of treating people equally, which makes it far too easy to justify these excesses if anyone tries to push back against them. Reaffirming this principle wouldn’t mean you can’t value lived experience or personal knowledge, but it would stop people using identity as a cudgel, and it would make the left far less likely to alienate people from privileged groups, especially young men.
IMHO a big part of the problem is unwillingness to accept criticism. You can’t re-evaluate if you refuse to listen when people tell you something is wrong. There seems to be an overriding fear that allowing criticism will help the right, and/or hurt marginalised groups, and solidarity is the best way to avoid this. But you can’t deal with bad actors if you don’t allow criticism of them and of the dynamics enabling them.