Ah, Minister Magoo! My favorite Iraqi spokesman. He even looks like Magoo.
This reminds me very little of the story about a guy who walks into a saloon.
Just as he pulls up a barstool, the guy sitting next to him tosses off the last of his drink and suddenly keels over backward, hitting the floor completely out cold.
The new guy stares down at the crumpled, inert figure for a moment, then looks back up at the bartender and says;
“I’ll have what he’s having.”
Whatever that Iraqi minister is having, I want some!
Well, I guess he has had to modify his statements a wee bit. I mean, what was he going to tell the Press Corps?
“This morning your hotel was unfortunately shelled by a member of our military, who was really a deep-planted sleeper agent of the Americans we could not detect. His tank is one of our cleverly designed fake M1’s, designed to lull the Americans into our trap. I swear by my father’s mustache, this will be investigated.”
Frankly, I hope this guy has a post war career. He’s too funny to lose!
I just hope its not a trap… If they keep saying it, some general is gonna get cocky and prove we ARE there, in force. So when coalition forces are concentrated in baghdad, wouldnt that be a good oppurtunity to use a weapon of mass destruction… we already know that bastard saddam doesnt have qualms killing his own people, so whats to stop him from sprayinf the whole city with nerve gas, or god forbid, using a nuke, to “go out with a bang?” he seems like that kind of person
If what US military says could be trust, the Iraqi Army seems to be much pretty crippled - 19 tanks left in their fleet, Republician units gone or not responding to orders.
But then that’s still a one-sided story.
BTW, the Minister of Information could have an entire movie himself. At the end of the movie we’ll cut to him sitting in a padded cell yelling into a non-functional microphone - “We are victorious! We have lured the Americians Mercenary to their Doom and traded places with them! We are now in the White House, siezed from them after an easy battle where those merecenaries cast down their gun and fly…”
Voice: “Excuse me, your lunch…”
“And we have taken them as slaves and they now serve us!..”
Sorry, but I can just see them all wearing desert fatigues, and there’s one guy with a rainbow wig and a sign that says “John 3:16”.
That’d be real heartwarming to hear he made it out of prison and all the way to Iraq.
THis guy may help Jon Lovitz revive his career!! Whoo-hooo!!