Don’t listen to them. You’re 18. Live for today. I don’t speak to the people I exchanged promise rings with back in those days, but I don’t regret it either. That was some passion and intimacy that will die as you get older and wiser.
I can’t figure out how big of a deal of a promise ring is supposed to be. You guys are making it sound pretty serious but it doesn’t sound like it would have any actual effect.
Anyway, if in doubt, I’d go with a different kind of jewelry that doesn’t carry weird ring-implications.
I suggest another piece of jewelry that she can wear and think of you but without the implications of a ring. A bracelet with a single meaningful charm, or a chain with some kind of charm (or if y’all are religious, an unusual but pretty cross).
Look herefor ideas.
Shesh people they’re 18 and it’s not a religious or legal commitment it’s a promise ring. It’s like a tryout for an engagement, lets not make it more than the sweet sentimental gesture that it is.
However - have you and your girlfriend talked about being monogamous? If you haven’t, don’t.
Otherwise I’d say go for it. If nothing else it will help trigger the conversations you need to be having before you get to the engagement ring and marriage which please to whatever you believe in take your time for.
Also don’t spend more than you can afford on the promise ring. It should be cute and pretty, not something you go into debt for.
Sorry, but I have to laugh at the idea of a 6 month-a-versary gift. You only started dating in January. You have to make sure you love her rather than the idea of her. Then ask yourself why you want to give her a promise ring. if you can answer those 2 questions honestly and satisfactorily - in a way where you haven’t deluded yourself? Even then, i still would advise against it.
It’s not that you’ve got so much life ahead of you but rather you don’t really know what it is you want in a life partner yet. You don’t know what to look for. You haven’t lived it. You haven’t seen what a good relationship is like, what a bad relationship is, what a stagnant relationship is, what this relationship looks like when strained, etc.
Get through ALL of that, and you still have to think about the future. What you can afford. What you’re willing to give up in the name of love. What delayed gratification could afford the both of you. More money? More opportunities? More happiness, even if it meant you two ending it? More happiness for just her at your expense? Vice versa?
It takes way more than 6 months to answer these questions, so don’t go gumming it up with this weird promise ring business.
18? You have a few good years of sleeping around before even thinking of making that kind of promise. You didn’t for some reason get her name tattooed on any part of your body did you?
If you want to buy her a nice piece of jewelry I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I think promise rings are silly though. Seriously, the very idea of a pre-engagement ring is silly.
Agreed. I think it’s a very sweet idea and if it’s a mistake, well, learn from it. I mean, at least the OP isn’t proposing or looking to get married after six months.
I got a promise ring at 15 from my first love. It obviously never worked out, but it’s a good memory.
I know this is hopelessly pragmatic, instead of the romantic angle that you’re looking for, but if you do buy a ring, buy something you can afford. By “afford” I mean that it’s something you can pay for from the money you saved up working. And that afterward, you can still pay for your car, your cell phone, your college, etc. For the love of all that is holy, don’t finance a ring. Bigger isn’t necessarily better. It truly is the thought that counts.
It sounds like a “promise ring” carries the equivalent expression of what we used to call, “going steady,” back in the day. It simply meant that you had committed not to date other people, not that you were promising marriage. Guys when I was young used to have their girlfriends wear their high school class rings to show that they were going steady. I remember girls who would have tape wrapped around the ring to make it stay on their finger because the guys’ hands were so much larger than theirs. If that’s all a “promise ring” means, then go for it, but if you are suggesting some sort of lifetime commitment to the girl at your age after only 6 months, I fear you may well creep her out. Some here have suggested just buying a ring with no strings attached. Better still might be a necklace, brooch or earrings - something pretty that she will like and appreciate, but that doesn’t yet hint of commitment, as a ring might. You’re young, don’t rush things. Enjoy what you have, and don’t ruin it by being overly clingy.
Six months isn’t too early, but 18 years old is.
Possible spam reported.
Hella early.
Promise rings are an actual thing? I thought they were invented as a satire of teenage “love”. Poe’s Law, I guess.
Yes, listen to your hart.
I’m pretty sure this is the Hart she was talking about.
I think it might mean different things in different circles. In my circle and time (early-to-mid 90s), a promise ring was more serious than “going steady,” although we didn’t use the term “going steady.” Once you had a “girlfriend” or “boyfriend,” it was generally assumed you were exclusive. The closest symbol for “going steady” that I could remember is gifting your girlfriend your high school ring. A promise ring was seen as a bit more serious, although I don’t actually know if I remember anyone getting or giving a promise ring.
First, tell her you love her, and see how that meatball turns out for ya’.
I don’t know. Its a PROMISE ring. If one dumps the other after making this PROMISE (and statistically, its likely) there will be this huge PROMISE out there.
OP, what are you promising? Monogomy for the present? An engagement ring at a future point? Six months and eighteen is young for the second, not that it can’t work out, but that it isn’t likely to - and unless one of you is terminally ill, there isn’t a rush.
Really? 18 years old is too young for a promise ring? At what age do you think such things are appropriate? I have always thought of the ‘promise ring’ notion as a very adolescent one. Something reserved mostly for the teenage years.