I want to get my girlfriend a promise ring for our 6 month aniversry this wednesday. i believe that i am truly in love with her but my mom and sister say its to early. is it? im 18
Your mother and sister are right.
Word.
Agred. No hurry. Trust us.
Since the OP is looking for advice, let’s move this to IMHO.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
I agree with your mother and sister. Six months isn’t long enough to get out of the starry-eyed feeling that everything she does is cute, and into the part where some of the things she does annoy you, and you have to deal with it. Give yourselves some time to get to know each other.
Oh, yes, I remember the whole “promise ring” thing, and every single couple I ever heard of who did it broke up within a matter of days.
What is a promise ring?
aw so cute, yeah do it mate and if it works awesome but if it doesn’t remember what doesn’t kill you etc…
Why do people feel the need to protect people from making mistakes and feeling pain, go for it mate!
Just as an FYI don’t be surprised if she does not take it well. A promise ring after 6 months just stinks of clammy, puppy-like, please love me desperation. Women usually don’t like that.
It’s not something a self confident man would do.
I really doubt you should do anything super extra special for your 6th month-iversary, but that’s just me. I mean, you can if you both want to, but don’t feel pressured into it.
Look, if she likes pretty jewelry, get her a nice not-too-expensive ring. I don’t mean $5 claw machine trash – I just mean don’t break the bank on it, no elaborate $400 monstrosities. No silly promises or engagements or strings attached, just as a “I was thinking of you and thought you might like this” present. That’s a nice gift and will make her feel happy (IF SHE LIKES JEWELRY and IS NOT TOO PICKY ABOUT IT). But don’t attach some weird promise or significance to it beyond “I was thinking of you when I saw this”. If you do a “promise ring” at all, I agree with mom and sis, it’s too soon. It’s not too soon to get her a nice no-strings-attached present, though.
Or hell, just say you’d like to buy her a cute ring as a present some time when you’re out together near a ring shop. That way you don’t have to move heaven and earth to figure out her ring size, and she gets to tell you before you potentially waste your money on it whether she actually likes it or not.
Basically: if the key is the “promise” part of “promise ring” it’s way too soon, and kind of clingy and weird. If the ring is the key part, there’s plenty of avenues to go about that that are closer to “sweet” than “clingy and creepy”.
Agreeing to be monogamous is an important step, and if you both want to celebrate it with a ring, go ahead and have that fun. You might want to discuss it first, to avoid any surprises (ie “you want me to be what?” or “we weren’t monogamous before?”). Best of luck!
Too early. Wait until you’re 90.
Just do a pinkie-swear and call it a day.
I’d agree with this. Agreeing that you’re “together” is important to clear up, but I think springing a ring out of nowhere and “proposing monogamy” is sort of strange. If you both want to celebrate being official with a gift that’s another thing entirely. I was mostly just assuming the OP was going to play some weird “spring a ring on her and ask her to not-marry me”.
I assumed the same thing. Bad idea.
ETA: Ambivalid’s idea works, as an alternative.
I know that a promise ring isn’t exactly an engagement which isn’t exactly marriage. However, let me share some food for thought…
1. Permit me share you a personal anecdote
My wonderful, beloved live-in girlfriend of 6 years is a divorcé, formerly married to her high-school sweetie.
2. An innocent, please-take-at-face-value-question
Do you come from a fairly religious background?
3. Experience
At your age, I have to assume you don’t have an immense wealth of sexual and relationship experience. A lot of kids in their 20’s and early 30’s are hooking up with a number of partners. Typically, it takes people a few tries to make mistakes and learning from them before they’re “qualified” for the wealth of challenges of a lasting, monogamous (I’m assuming), life-long relationship.
4. Please avail yourself to this reading list.
[ul]
[li]Marriage Expectations: Young People Expect Marriages To Last, Study Says[/li][li]Divorce Rates For Teen Marriages Revealed[/li][li]Why the Teenage Divorce Rate Is High[/li][li]Early Teen Marriage and Future Poverty[/li][li]Now, the Bad News on Teenage Marriage[/li][/ul]
I don’t mean to trivialize your life experiences, but you’ve only just begun on what will be a very long road.
When I was 19, I met and dated a guy who I was so sure was The One[sup]TM[/sup]. I met his folks and really liked them. I thought about him all the time.
It’s 40 years later - he’s been married 4 times, widowed once, divorced 3 times, tho never once to me. Moral of my story, such as it is - don’t rush it. When it’s right for you, you won’t be asking for advice on a message board. At 18, there’s so much ahead of you - no need settle your future so soon!
If you’re a best looking boy, there’s no emergency or s.o.s: you might find April over bread and coffee or in the Sea of Cortez. But later, you might say goodbye good or even “why did we ever meet?”