Is a 6 year old too young to play "Mature" PS2 games?

In My Humble Opinion
1

My six year old came home from his father’s house last night and asked if we could talk.

Let me begin by saying, I do not grill him when he comes home from visiting his father. I normally just ask him if he had a good time then leave it at that so when he said he wanted to talk I figured I better listen up.

He told me his dad bought a new video game (Ghost Recon) for the Playstation and that he had played it and it was rated M and he knew he wasn’t supposed to play those games. I’m not sure why he shared this information with me but I just listened to what he said.

I asked him if he liked the game and he said no but his dad wanted him to play it so he did.

I told him that he was growing up and would start making some decisions for himself and that if he didn’t like the game or didn’t want to play it that maybe he should talk to his dad about it and see how that went.

He seemed to accept that answer but said that he had a bad weekend and wanted to come home. I don’t know if anything else went on or what. I got the feeling that the entire weekend consisted of playing video games and that was not a big turn on for my son.

I did a search this morning on this game and it is rated Mature for blood, gore and violence.

Now I know nothing about these games but I kinda think a 6 year old is too young for this.

Whenever I bring up anything like this to his father it starts WWIII. His father will tell me I don’t need to tell him how to raise his son and that I’m too overprotective and that I’m trying to ruin his relationship with our child.

Help! Any suggestions?

I don’t want to cause a major ordeal over this but I want my son to feel like he can come to me for help and that I will stand up for him if he needs it.

2

I do not have children but I have seen some ‘M’ rated games and I am sometimes repulsed by them. They really do show violence and gore realistically. (I have not seen the game your son played but maybe someone else can come along with first hand experience). IMO, 6 is definitely too young to even watch these games being played, if I had seen some of these scenes at that age I would have had nightmares. I don’t even think I would let a 10 or 12 year old play them.

Your son sounds very bright and obviously knew there was something wrong with playing these games. He should tell his father he does not want to play them, and if his dad cannot accept this you do need to step in. I understand the reluctance to meddle between your son and his father, that is something to be commended, but not in cases of your son being coerced or encouraged to do thing that make him uncomfortable. It really doesn’t matter if the game is rated G, if your son does not want to play it he should have the right to say no, and his father should respect (and encourage!) that. Your son does need you to stand up for him, but I would maybe give him the chance to tell his dad he doesn’t like the game himself first. That way he knows it is ok to say no to things he does not want to do. If his dad does not immediately stop the games you need to step in.

IMO I would not allow a 6 year old in my care to play those games or watch them at other houses at all.

3

Oh for the love of God yes! I am playing Vice City now and cannot imagine a six year old saying, “My health is low, I better go nail that whore in a back alley before I try to see if I can pass the next mission my burning 30 people to death in 2 min with molotov coctails.”

They are ready for M games when they are allowed to see Full Metal Jacket. Hope things work out with whatever is eating him.

4

Ghost Recon isn’t for 6 year olds. You’re out shooting people with guns. Get some other game for them like Ape escape 2.

5

If the father is not up to trying different games, ask him if there is a way to turn the gore and violence down (most PC games have a no-gore option; I don’t know about console games).

6

Again, I don’t really know a lot about any of these games. The only games I buy are the E games that he enjoys playing.

I don’t let him watch PG-13 movies and I usually preview PG movies first if I have any doubts as to whether or not he might need to watch them.

I have allowed him to watch some episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with me AFTER I had seen them first and there wasn’t anything too scary for him to handle. We talked about the show after the first time he saw an episode and he told me that he knew it was just pretend and that vampires weren’t real and that it wasn’t too scary for him.

His dad, OTOH lets him watch rated R movies if he wants to. He lets him play any video games he has. There is no caution in my opinion…just anything goes.

I have brought this up to him several times in the past and it turned out very bad. He will blow up at me and tell me that I have no control over what goes on in his house on his weekends with our son. That I’m too overprotective and I’m going to turn him into a “sissy”. That I am doing my best to ruin their relationship. Blah.Blah.Blah.

I am really trying not to start something up with him over this but I don’t want my son to have a miserable time visiting his father and feel like he HAS to play these games in order to win his approval.

I should mention that my ex has recently remarried and has a new step-son who is 2 years older than my son. This child is very aggressive and into sports and more of the son my ex always wanted. Our son is very shy and reserved and thoughtful about things. He is sensitive but all boy…I don’t think he behaves in a “sissy” manner. He plays baseball but is more into it because he says it is fun…not because he has that win or die attitude.

I get the impression from him that he is trying too hard to win his dad’s approval by acting all “macho” while he is with him.

In fact, when he was talking to me last night his eyes were tearing up just telling me about the weekend.

7

Then I think it is time to step in. Does your area have a friend of the court type program or a court-appointed counselor that can help you mediate? Your son should not be coerced into playing games or doing other things that upset him, and he should feel like you will stand up for him. It is too hard for a 6 year old to feel like he is being rejected by his father for not being ‘manly’ enough. He came to you for help because he cannot handle the situation on his own anymore. It is beyond just playing a game, IMO.

It is very disturbing that he is allowed to participate in adult activities like ‘M’ games and ‘R’ movies at this age. He is reacting like a normal 6 year old who is being exposed to things he is not emotionally equipped to handle, not being a sissy. That is ridiculous.

I think it is time to re-evaluate your ex’s visiting privileges if he refuses to stop exposing your son to adult media.

8

I guess I’m surprised that Ghost Recon is rated M for gore. It’s very much a military-simulation squad-based First Person Shooter. Lots of one-shot and two-shot kills, mostly at medium/long range. But it’s realistic, requires strategic thinking, and the death and violence isn’t at all “cartoony” in a way that would be acceptable for a six-year-old.

I suspect he didn’t like the game more because there is not a lot of action, and it can be difficult, than because it was violent. Still, I would not allow a six-year-old to play it.

9

This may be a blanket statement, but so be it. Any parent who posits keeping a six-year old from restricted movies and mature video games will turn him into a sissy (whatever the hell that means) needs to take (and pass) a parenting skills class of some sort.

What other things do they do on the weekends? Does he take his son to the zoo? The library? An amusement park? A museum? The park? I have this mental image of your son and his father sitting around playing Ghost Recon and watching American Pie all weekend.

10

Your ex sounds like a big winner. Ghost Recon is not even close to the most mind-warping thing he could play; it isn’t that graphic (even if you lay into somebody two feet away with a SAW- which doesn’t usually happen- its blood 'n gore is pretty lmited) but it’s not for kids. And it also shows the dad’s general lack of thought as to what his kid would like to do since the game is too complex and difficult for most or all kids that age to enjoy, although I guess kids are probably better at video games than when I was six.

11

Of course.

Next question?

12

**Juanita Tech ** Mostly it depends on if my ex’s new wife is working or not. If she is home then they seem to go places and do things. They took a weekend trip to TN to see the aquarium in June. They are leaving for the beach this coming Saturday for a week at her parent’s house. In fact, this beach trip will be the first time in 6 years my ex has ever had our son for a visit for longer than 2 days.

He did not start getting him for overnight visitation until my son was 4. Before he remarried this past year the weekends tended to be A LOT of video games or movies. My ex does not know how to interact with our son. He is a great playmate for him but not a father figure. He constantly puts his new wife’s child above our son and it isn’t that it bothers me, but it hurts my child.

One incident sticks out in my mind…it was Halloween when my son was about to turn four and we had plans to take him to a community carnival. My ex called me at the last minute and asked if he could come over and see his costume. I knew it would mean a lot to my son so I agreed and we changed our plans to accomodate him.

When he got to our house I was in the middle of cooking dinner and my son said, “Mommy, could my Daddy stay at eat dinner with me.”

Now there is no love loss between me and the ex but I won’t punish my son for that so I said, “Sure, baby…if you would like him to stay that’s fine with me.”

My ex then looks at our son and says, “Sorry, bud. I promised Mike (his girlfriend at the time’s son) I would go trick-or-treat with him. In fact, I only have a second…I probably need to go anyway. See ya.”

After he left my son looked up at me and said, “My Daddy likes Mike better than me.”

Oh yeah…he’s a big winner. :rolleyes:

After Sauron and I dated for a while then got engaged the ex told our son that once we got married Sauron was going to take his Mommy away and I wouldn’t be his Mommy anymore. I called and raised holy hell with him about that one and he told me that he seriously doubted our son told me anything like that and that he never said it.

I have mentioned all these little incidents to my lawyer time and time again and basically he always tells me that unless my son is in physical danger it isn’t worth taking him to court over it or spending money trying to prove the environment isn’t a good place for him.

The only thing I know to do is let him know how much we love him and try to provide a good place for him with us.

13

Ugh ugh ugh!

I don’t know what to say other than what a jerk.

14

Sounds to me like Dad is forcing his son to play an M-rated game. Which is wrong on so many levels.

15

ex is ass.

16

Okay…so I sent ex an email and was as nice as I possibly could be. I pointed out that our son came home last night upset about a game that he had apparently played/watched at his dad’s house.

I pointed out to him that since I didn’t know anything about the game that I did a search on the net and found out why it was rated M and that I honestly didn’t see how in the world he could think it was appropriate for our son to watch, let alone play.

I got back a very short response that basically said he had let our son and his stepson play the target practice round where they aren’t shooting anything but trees or small targets. He said that he did let them watch him play and that something popped up on the screen ( he couldn’t remember what it was) but it made him decide to turn it off and that was that.

He said that “it isn’t even really a gory game and he doesn’t let him normally watch/play that.”

Oh well…at least I feel like I said something. I’ll just add this incident to the list I keep on hand for future reference. :rolleyes:

I called my son and told him that I had spoken to his dad and he was aware that my son didn’t like the game and didn’t want to play it.

His reponse: “Okay, Mommy. Thanks. I’m watching Nemo with Granma now so I love you. Gotta go. Bye.” Click.

Apparently he has recovered from last night. :wink:

17

Ghost Recon is M rated? Geez. But yea, if it bothers you, he probably shouldn’t be playing it. I can’t imagine a six year old having a lot of fun with it, frankly, but still. If it bothered him, then it really needs to be addressed.

18

Aries28,

I have to agree with the others that your ex is (and probably always will be) a complete ass.

I am kind of facing a similar problem, but not as bad as yours:

We are friends with a couple. We usually hang out with them and a second couple on Saturday evenings. Their son is 5. All he ever does is play video games. Video games, I might add, that are very violent and gory. On occasions where we have gone to the movies, they think nothing of bringing him along to an R rated movie. We have never said anything to our friends: their son does not seem to be bothered by the games or movies and furthermore, we feel it is not our place.

Fortunatly our child will be 6 years younger than their son. I feel horrible for thinking this, but I would not be comfortable at all for them to be regular playmates.

I just don’t understand people who don’t look out for their kid’s best interest.

19

It sounds like the immediate situation is resolved, and if what your ex says is true, it might not be as bad as it first looked. At least now he is aware that your son does not like the game so hopefully he will be more aware in the future. It’s good that your son knows he can come to you and count on you.

20

Aww. Do me a favor and give the little tyke a big huge hug for me. That just breaks my heart to see a little one try so hard to do what’s right and to fit in at the same time.

My son is 8, almost 9 and is OBSESSED with video games. Any game he can get his hands on, he loves loves loves. But we talk alot, and we discuss the difference between crashing up cars in Burnout 2 and crashing up cars on the highway. He knows that while you can knock Princess Peach off of the mushroom stand in Smash Bros, if you knock Auntie Jen off of a foot stool, that Aunt Jenny could be hurt because she’s not a video game.

My son, to my knowledge (He does spend weekends with his dad, where I’m certain that he’s allowed to play the goriest, most intricate RTS games he can get his grubby lil paws on, though he prolly wouldnt tell me because I’m moooooom and I don’t have as good of a sense of humor as daaaad, etc etc) hasn’t played the game you’re talking about, but if the child is uncomfortable with it, I’d say that’s a good indication that something should be done. Perhaps you could explain to his dad that you both have shared in bringing up a delightful, moral child and that same delightful, moral child had tears in his eyes while explaining the video game he had to play because he’s only 6 and it makes him feel bad.

If that doesn’t work, I’d explain that shoving testosterone laden activities down a childs throat does NOT make them “tough”, it makes them not want to go to dads anymore.