is anyone else getting annoyed at the pay-at-the-pump quiz shows?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Is anyone else getting annoyed with the pay-at-the-pump procedure when getting gasoline in the United States?

Or am I just getting (more) cranky as I age…

I seem to recall a time when paying for one’s gas at the pump was a new and wonderful experience.

No more going inside to stand in line behind the people trying to decide which lottery ticket they wanted or trying to communicate exactly which pack of cigs they needed out of the 9 million choices behind the counter–“Marlboro. The Reds. No, the kind whose box is so helpfully red. No, the 100’s. In the flip top box, not the soft pack. No, the kind with the words ‘flip top box’ helpfully printed on the front. That are in a box. With the panda on the side (well, ok, no panda).”

Then you got to negotiate the deal with the Clerk. “I’d like $10 on pump #4, please (this was a long time ago). Pump 4. Yes, $10 on pump 4. Thank you.” Then you went outside and the damn pump still wasn’t on, so back inside for round #2.

This time you were behind scratch-off-lottery-person. “Yeah, I want one of those–no, not that one, the green one, like money. With dollar signs on it. That looks good. And 5 of those, with the panda.” So now it is your turn. “I needed $10 on pump #4, but the pump doesn’t seem to be turned on. No, THAT one (pointing helpfully). The one with the big ‘4’ helpfully printed upon it. No, not the one with the panda–#4, please”.

Anyway, those days were now dead with pay-at-the-pump. No more going inside and dealing with actual people. None of that. That is the old way of doing things. I was waaaay beyond that.

I am the very model of the modern auto driver,
I pay for things in ways that would astound Angus MacGyver,
In short, in matters high-tech, I am quite the striver,
You could, in fact, declare I am a technological survivor.

It was bliss. Swipe the card, pick the grade, flip up the handle, stick in the nozzle, and fill-er-up. The only annoyance was that, half the time, when you got done, the display would say “Printing Receipt”, and there would be a grinding noise, but the receipt would not print, so your choice was to either go inside and mingle with the masses, which would completely negate the advantages of paying at the pump, or take your chances and drive off like a rebel without a cause^H^H^H^H^H receipt and cruise down the road with the windows down and the wind in your hair and the radio turned up. *

Or not.

Panda optional. They have a lot of hair for the wind to to blow, though.

Now, I am getting into more and more interactions with the gas pump that go like this. Swipe card. Enter zip code of billing address. Do I have a Kroger Plus card? Do I have a Greenbax card? Do I have a draft card? Would I like a car wash? Do the Clerk’s uniform pants make her ass look big? Do I own a schnauzer? How about a panda?

I JUST WANT SOME DAMN GASOLINE! If I wanted to be on a quiz show, I’d audition for Jeopardy (America’s Favorite Quiz Show®)!

Then, once they finally let you pump the gas, and you get done, you now have to press a button to ask for a receipt, and the result is still the same old 50/50. “Clerk has receipt.” Do I go inside and have to answer if the polyester uniform pants make her ass look big? Do I dare disturb the universe? Or do I make a run for it? Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare skip the receipt? (I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach)

So, am I the only one now considering that it might be quicker to go inside and pay manually than use the pay-at-the-pump? Am I the only one to start to talk to the gas pumps? Has anyone else noticed they look slightly like Daleks? What will happen if I push the wrong button…

EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE >>>>>ZOT<<<<<

–jack
*look, there is a fine line between reasonable care and paranoia. if you, like 99.9999% of us citizens, have never been pulled over by the police for driving off from a gas station without paying, when you did, in fact, pay, then worrying about the receipt is paranoia. on the other hand, if you ever have had a series of long discussions with law-enforcement officials about same, with them convinced you were an obvious liar, until you lost it completely and went Basil Fawlty on them, complete with the beginnings of the accent and the clenched fist ("…but it would completely defeat the POINT of paying at the pump if I went inside for the receipt…"), then you might want the receipt. theoretically.

2

I don’t know what the problems are in your little corner of the world, but personally, I just pay at the pump, ignore the receipt, and drive away.

3

I liked the parts with the panda.

4

My last pay at the pump experience subjected me to an audio avalanche of commercials from a speaker attached to the pump. Thank god it had a mute button.

5

I’d like to nominate this OP for Best of Craigslist in the TLEA* category.

  • Too long, enjoyed anyway.
6

+1

7

If only the questions came quickly, and if only they had real buttons.

In Esso stations around here, there are typically 5-6 prompts (insert fidelity card, insert payment card, would you like a car wash, and if so what kind of car wash, choose fuel grade, pick up nozzle).

You get a poky BOOOP from the speaker, then 1-2 seconds later the message appears on the LCD (in slow motion in cold weather), then you try to locate the area of the keypad that you must press to answer it, then you press it with all your might, then for 1-2 seconds the pump thinks about what else it could ask you, then it goes BOOOP again…

8

I live in New Jersey with no self-serve gas. I can only wish that I had some of these problems.

Yes, I would prefer self-serve gas. I hate waiting for a guy to meander over to start filling the car, then disappear for ages before reappearing to let me get on my way.

9

Just for the sake of nostalgia, I can tell you that here in NZ card-pay pumps are extremely rare at present.

Almost every petrol station you pull in, fill up, then go inside and pay. No reduced price self-service pumps. Fill up yourself or simply wait for an attendant to do it.

Now this might sound like an invitation for gas-and-go but they all have cameras and the pumps are normally controlled from inside. If you look a little down on your luck you might need to go inside first but I’ve never experienced or heard of that.

10

I’m tired of the ones showing videos. It’s all 15-second clips about movies or celebrities I don’t care about, or ads disguised as a home improvement tips. And the worst part is that the volume goes up as the pump kicks in, because they want to make sure you don’t miss anything! Since every pump has its own screen, and they all show the same stuff, and they only start playing when you pull up, the result is a dozen loud TVs playing the same video a little out of sync. It’s maddening.

When I first saw the title of this thread, I thought maybe they were starting to put some sort of quiz games onto those screens. Which I would only approve of if they’d give you a discount for getting questions right.

11

Applause for the OP. Eleven years to make 225 posts and then out with this one? Somebody’s been saving up! Gilbert and Sullivan parody and pandas! Four stars!

12

Excellent! Gave me a good laugh this morning. I gave up on the receipts about a year ago. Fail rate was just too high.

13

Yes, you are getting (more) cranky as you age.

14

The (Shell?) station I last filled at was showing me FOX News. Reason enough to start using a different gas station.

Agreed with the gist of the OP – too many damn buttons to press before gas goes into my car.

15

Yeah. Old school rant. Very nice.

You’re not the only one getting annoyed. I’m 28, and I have better things to do than stand in front of a gas pump freezing my butt off/getting rained on/inhaling fumes.

Also, it seems like the local gas stations have slowed down the pump speed to accomodate for higher gas prices. Which would be fine if I weren’t going to be filling my tank anyway. So after Gas Station Jeopardy, I get to settle in and watch the above-the-pump advertisements. Which are so entertaining.

16

I tend to fill at local convenience stores where, at most, I get 2 questions: Credit or debit, and receipt or no? I never take a receipt - it’s just another piece of paper to throw away. And there’s no question about running off without paying, since you can’t pump until you swipe your card or pay inside.

But I agree about the stupid TV screens on the pumps - they just annoy me. Thankfully, my little car fills fast, so if I’m stuck at such a station, I’m just there for a minute or 2 at most.

17

Similar situation in the UK, to a degree. Attendant-service pumps have pretty much vanished, although there were still quite a few around say 20 years ago.

Self-service pumps are quite common at supermarket petrol stations and other bigger ones, but the usual procedure is as you stated - pull up, fill up, go inside and pay.

If you do use the pay at pump option there are no irritating questions that I recall - just press the button for “pay at pump”, swipe your card, enter your PIN and then fill up. At the end, if you want a receipt you swipe your card again.

18

I seem to only get the zip code question when I’m away from my home city. Yeah, the slew of questions is annoying. My Speedpass give the option of forgoing the receipt altogether, and that’s what I do.

19

I couldn’t find the mute button the last time I had a TV yakking at me at the pump.

20

… And WHAT is the deal with Airline food? And if the black box is indestructible, why note make the wole plane out of the black box?