My reading speed is, apparently, unbelievably fast. Or the reading speed of the average gas pumper is incredibly slow. Possibly both. I don’t need for the text to appear one. letter. at. a. time. By the time I read the last letter, I forget what the first word was, and I have to go back. Just put the whole damn message up at once, and let the slowpokes read at their leisure, and let those of us who have mastered 3rd grade reading get our pumping done and go on about our business!
I get my gasoline at Costco, and the only question I ever have to answer is whether I want a receipt.
And it always prints the receipt out just fine.
The station I use at least only asks for me to put in my zip code and press enter after I swipe the card. The buttons, though, are kinda small with even smaller dark red letters on a black background. I can easily put in the numbers, but just to identify the damn enter button, I have to get out the reading glasses. It’s way too much like those websites with 4 point font and forest green letters on a purple background, and no Readability software in sight.
Heh, witty OP, OP. Liked the Gilbert & Sullivan bit the best.
I’m just coming in here to rub in the fact that I live in a full-service state. In New Jersey it’s illegal to pump your own gas. That is a really nice thing in the winter time.
The one time I encountered what the OP did, I didn’t even notice the screen asking me for anything and just went ahead and used the pump, and it worked. So it didn’t bother me. It’s been a while though, so I must ask, is this no longer an option?
Pay at the pump would be a nice option, here in Australia, but going into the shop isn’t usually that bad.
Pay at the pump, when I’m visiting family in the States, is pretty much impossible, as my (Aus bank issued) credit cards don’t have a Zip Code that the pumps can recognize…
Holla!
Sincerely,
-Oregon
I used to be like you OP (by the way, you seriously need to post more).
Anyway, I did a bit of searching and found out that the least expensive gas station in two towns (mine and the one next to mine that is practically mine anyway), is a locally owned full-serve station with the least expensive oil changes around. Now I go to them. I don’t have to get out of the car. They’re nice. They remember their customers. They only charge $35 for an oil change (instead of the $75 the chain place cost me) even though a problem with the oil filter had them struggling for 2 hours. The gas is generally at least .05 less than the next least expensive (which requires a courtesy card to the local grocery store). I love it. I’m so lucky to have this place in my area. I’d much rather support a local business than a chain anyway.
Um…yes I was bragging. Sorry. 
I ride a motorcycle. I know what places have pumps where I never have to get off my bike to get gas. Swipe my debit card, pump up, and ride away. It’s a royal pain in the ass if I have to get off the bike, take off my helmet, goggles, gloves, backpack, face mask, etc. to go inside.
ONCE I had to stop at a place that was full service- the pump monkey was holding the nozzle and looking at the gas filler by my crotch. He just handed it to me so I could pump it myself.
Nice OP! Reminds me of why I enjoy life in Thailand. I think there are debit card swipers on some of the pumps here, but wouldn’t know since all pumps are “full-service”; employee does any required swiping. (Anyway I never use debit card except for making a maximum cash withdrawal from an ATM machine.)
Self-service pumps are especially nice when it’s raining but pleasant at other times as well. Wages are expensive in U.S.A. so gasoline would cost more … but you’ve an unemployment problem anyway, right?
Many simple interactions in Thailand seem more human than the robotic equivalent in the U.S. One is often speaking directly to the entrepreneur rather than a franchise employee. (Unfortunately Thailand is becoming increasingly like U.S. rather than vice versa.)
Musicat drives up to gas pump and waves his Mobil Speedpass at the red horsie. Light goes on. Nozzle goes into tank, gas follows. Nozzle gets replaced, receipt rolls out, Musicat takes receipt ($4 total, it’s a scooter) and leaves. No quiz show, no panda, no problem.
I miss the panda.
For me, I wouldn’t mind so much if they weren’t powering the processors with discarded 1978 Casio digital watches, and keyboards with rusty Speak and Spell chicklet keypads. The sludgy speed at which these things run is absurd, after every keypress there is apparently a sphere that must get carved out of exotic wood, etched by lasers, polished, roll down 100 feet to be read and confirmed by psychics, before the switch is flipped to allow the next keypress.
“Enter you 28 digit Thriftway Preferred Member number and your Zip+4”
“5…2…7…” 17 digits later “…9…2…” oops, crap! Wrong key! Start over…
I though while that is the case for most merchants and is in the contract between the CC company and the merchant, gas stations are legally exempt from this altogether and legally allowed to charge more for credit if they desire regardless of the contract wording?
I don’t get this. Why would you ever turn down a panda wash?
You guys should ride bicycles. You refuel at the Dairy Queen.
Ditto pandas.
You know, this sort of thing is why old people walk around shaking their heads so often.
But, still, more pandas.
Not to mention a panda also “…eats shoots and leaves.”
-d&r-
Based on the vandalism I’ve seen (and, frankly, contemplated) I predict these will go soon.
And that was an awesome OP. The only thing missing from the gas station scene was the customers’ attempt to pay for the lottery tickets with a sight letter of credit issued by the First National Bank of Zoltron and denominated in camel doots.
Well, I guess advertising pumps are in my future someday.
Right now, my Exxon still has the normal prompts at the pump. Enter zip code to prove the card is yours. Do you want a receipt?
I don’t think people here would like video ads at the pump.
You go inside with the rest of the proletariat. Then you listen to the people in front of you complain about gas, despite the fact that gas in the US is dirt cheap by Canadian and European standards.
Then you explain to the clerk how Canada isn’t part of the US, and we don’t have zip codes. Then you explain how you have letters as well as numbers in your postal code. Then you explain how we have our own money, complete with Queen, but that the credit card will still work - it’s magic!
Then you say thank you (or ‘merci’ if you’re feeling cosmopolitan) when the she compliments you on the fact that you speak English, despite the fact that you have the same accent as Michael J. Fox. Then you buy your gas, and walk out. Maybe you hold the door for some other poor member of the proletariat on your way out, and perhaps they thank you. You might say ‘de rien’, so as to complete the experience for the clerk. Perhaps she’ll be inspired to move to Paris and ride a bicycle to the bakery every morning. Maybe she’ll meet Dag Otto at the bakery, and they’ll go for a bike ride along the Seine for a picnic with the baguette poking out from the basket and then they’ll fall in love and have a little baby they dress up in a panda jumper.
You never know.