You can sew for me – that would be great. I hate and am bad at sewing; I’d be happy to garden for you. We can both bake, we probably bake different things.
63 year old lifelong single person here. I’m retired, but worked from home for about the last 8 years of employment. I have had my horses (still have one, but she’s 27), dogs (currently have 5, with the newest dumpee I picked up a couple months ago), and books. I have a few friends I meet for lunch regularly, and that’s the majority of my socialization. I’m not lonely or bored. The woman who lived in my house before me died, still living independently (and alone) at 91. She’s my role model.
If, as I age, I have to move into some sort of senior living complex, I won’t be happy having people around me all the time.
I have a partner, but if I’m the one left standing, I don’t mind living alone. If it happened tomorrow, I’d plan to be downsized and out of this house in about a year and move to a smallish condo in the same area and closer to downtown by bus or on foot. If it happened a few years from now, I’d assess my finances, health, and local friendships and might move elsewhere to be near friends. I’m not opposed to living in a friend’s ADU or an intentional community if I don’t need to live in a stepped care place.
?
Likely this.
Mother in law apartment would be another term.
I’m nearly 63 and have lived on my own for 40 years. I had a few short term relationships when I was young. Currently in a long term (20+ years) long distance (250 miles) relationship that works very well for both of us. We meet up about once a month for a few days either at hers, mine, or somewhere in the middle. We’ve some of the more obscure parts of the UK this way.
There is that.
Maybe if it’s getting that hard to keep on I’ll just go take a nap in the woods on a cold night. No desire at all to do so imminently, though.
Several dopers over the years have said they favor suicide over decrepitude & dependency.
@kayaker has not been seen since ~January 2025.
I wish him well whatever is going on in his (former?) life.
Although I enjoy living alone at the moment, this makes a lot of sense to me… even moving to the UK would work if I could swing it.
Kayaker was pretty open about his real name and place of residence, and I haven’t been able to find any death notice, not that that’s as easy as it used to be once upon a time.
I am one of the ones who prefers leaving on my own terms but it would have to be something medically supervised and assured. I’m researching future options.
I knew roughly where but no name. He was extremely secretive about his occupation.
Good to hear you haven’t found any death notice.
I’m betting on either fleeing the USA or fleeing a traceable online presence as the USA collapses into a police state. With a side order of “had a bad stroke”.
That would be better; but might well not be practically available while I was in any shape to take it.
Although, again, not in any hurry at the moment.
70 is in the rear view mirror for me, but I’ve mostly been in long-term marriages and other monogamous relationships for all of my adult life. Now, though, I’m in between relationships and it seems that the older I get, the more comfortable I get with being alone. My four main activities–writing, painting, playing guitar and reading–are pretty solitary, and I’m good with that. Ideally I’d like to find someone who lives close by but not too close, and who’s okay with my spending a lot of time alone. Even when I’ve had friends stay with me for a few days or a week, I’m eager for my alone-time, and am glad to see even very good friends leave. I tell myself, and my online dating profile, “I’m an acquired taste” and not that many people are interested in acquiring me at this late date. It was different when I was younger, and hotter, and more interested in spending days in someone else’s company. Now I’m mainly interested in seeing how long I can keep the firemen from breaking down my door because someone caught a whiff of a foul odor emanating from within.
I am not in any hurry. It seems to be a delicate balance of time and evolving disability judgement. I am trying to thread that needle.
I have a couple cousins that have surprisingly said they might accompany me.
My immediate family are all gone so I don’t have many options for end of life planning.
When your mare goes will you get another horse, maybe a retired semior? Or decide the labor and expense are no longer worth it?
I was happy to spend a couple of decades doing rough board for my horses when I was physically fit for it, but for the last eight or nine years, about, of Ben’s life (RIP age 30) I went full board as I just couldn’t handle it any longer, being in my late 60s/early 70s and having a hip replacement in 2013. I never did have a property where I could keep my horses, though, was always full or rough boarding, so I don’t know if that makes a difference – although there’s a heckuva lot of labor and expense involved in maintaining a horse property.
Also known as “granny pods.”
Since I lost Irish last year, I’ve been trying to decide to get Grace a companion, or leave her on the farm alone, or let my neighbors have her - they said they’d keep her with their horse and mule. They have limited turnout, and she still loves to really run flat out (she an OTTB). If I no longer have a horse, I might think about selling the farm. I’d still like a couple acres for the dogs, but I won’t need 14. I’m 63, and still able to haul feed and hay bales, and I feel like I stay fitter by doing what I do. If I do it today, I should be able to do it tomorrow and next week. But I seriously doubt I’ll get another horse. I’ve thought about fostering a senior rescue, but then I’d get attached, and you know how that goes.
StG
If your neighbors and you have adjoining turnout paddocks/fields, could you set up a gating system to allow the mingled herd access to the larger realm?
The neighbor is 1/2 mile down the road.
StG