EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING IS BEING ADVERTISED AS ‘the perfect christmas gift’!
Sorry. Move along, nothing to see here.
You know, a copy of this thread would be the perfect gift for that hard-to-shop-for person on your list.
I haven’t seen anybody advertising Preperation H as a Chrissy present yet.
A couple of quick Googles turn up a few items:
Pokemon is not the perfect Christmas gift
Underpants. I hate getting underpants. Almost as much as I loathe socks. Which I loathe slightly more than the ill-fitting sweater one relative gets me on a yearly basis. And I don’t wear sweaters. Ever.
Fruitcake.
Your outraged expletives make me realize I’ve been thinking this exact thing - specifically about this one Hallmark commercial I keep seeing .(click on “Gifts” or something if you really want to see it. Session IDs suck!). Its for this electonic singing snowman diorama. When I look at it, I feel sorry for my brother, 'cause he works at Safeway, and they’ll be stocking this crap with batteries for the next two months. (And people push the buttons on those things more than you want to know).
Anyhow - in the ad this lady buys one and gives it to this other couple, they push the button, and instead of jumping up and beating her with it in a murderous rage, they all start laughing. I mean… she practically gave them a whoopie cushion! To get any more tacky it’d have to be a singing bass! Whose idea of spreading holiday cheer is this!!!
Ahem. He said keep moving! Stop staring! :dubious:
I believe that a lemur, drowned in a vat of semen and urine, would make a poor Christmas present.
Around here they are advertising Dunkin’ Donuts coffee as the perfect Christmas gift. Coffee. Yeah.
That would make the perfect Christmas gift: I want to get one for my Sportsman’s Club, so we can set it up on the pistol range and blow the living shit out of it.
The worst part about those goddamn things is that they’re gonna sell a million of 'em.
A rib-eye steak with fuzzy green mold on it would not make a perfect Christmas gift.
I believe buying the lady in your life an ironing board is unlikely to illicit a favorable response.
Damned right - I’d never be so tacky as to buy the missus the same thing for two years running.
This year I thought an iron might be a winner?
I was in the Amtrak train station in Albany NY this weekend. At the little lunch counter they had a sign proclaiming this shop to be the actual ‘Holiday Headquarters’.
So if you don’t get some sort of travel coffee mug or some T-Shirt that reads “Albany NY – Not so bad, when you think about it” then your gift did not come from the Holiday Headquarters.
Any present with a Christmas motif is definitely not the perfect Christmas gift. You get it, maybe wear it that day, then put it away until next year. Unless you’re me, who ran out of undie-wear last July and wore flannel Santy-Clauses one day.
Will this be on pay-per-view? You guys could make a fortune…
Giving a single man a gift certificate good for a threesome with Oprah Winfrey and a one-eyed, bitter sea captain is decidedly NOT a good Christmas present.
Glad I regifted that one last year.
There are very few people for whom a steel-wool eyeball-brush would be the perfect Christmas gift.
How about Adam Sandler’s “8 Crazy Nights”? Did one of the voice talents quit on him or something, because it is Truly Terrible. One of the characters voices is Adam talking in falsetto with his fingers up his nostrils. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, except that 90% of the movie is his normal voiced character conversing with this other character.
I don’t know about their coffee, but I would never argue with somebody giving me nice coffee. Mmmm.