I would say that all three of the things mentioned are racist, if they are as it seems, choosing or not based on race only. I don’t know what else you’d call it, although I guess there could be subtle differences in how you define “racist.”
If it’s someone’s personal right to do any of those things or not is a different question, I think.
I define “racism” as “the belief that at least one race is inherently and irredeemably inferior to at least one other race.” It is of course difficult to determine whether a person has a belief based on their actions or statements, but certain actions and statements do tend to indicate that a person has a particular belief.
So, I think all three of your situations could be used to indicate that a person is possibly a racist, and I think they are in ascending order of such indication.
On the first one, if someone didn’t find people of certain races attractive, then that doesn’t indicate racism all that strongly to me. However, the attitude of “I will date no one of any race other than my own” goes a lot further than that towards indicating racism.
Does “relationship” for purposes of this question include adoption of a child?
(For the record, I have no personal objection to interracial adoption, but I know that it can arouse some opposition in some people who have no problem with interracial romance).
You can choose whoever you want for yourself. But once you start telling other people they have to comply with your standards you’re open to charges of bigotry.
If you don’t want to marry somebody of a different religion, you’re within bounds. If you tell other people they can’t marry people of other religions, you’re a bigot.
(1) Simply personally not wanting an Interracial relationship
I’m on the fence on this one. On the one hand, dismissing an entire race from one’s relationship prospect pool certainly seems prejudicial at the very least. On the other, people differ greatly on what they consider to be appealing physical attributes. So if one can acceptably be solely attracted to, say, men who are tall, or have dimples, or women with large breasts, etc… it seems that it should also be acceptable to be predominantly attracted to people with dusky complexions, or silk-textured hair, etc…
(2) Disapproving of others’ interracial relationships
Definitely racist.
(3) Wanting to ban or otherwise block interracial relationships.
Definitely racist.
How about disapproving of some interracial relationships because many of them are based on racism?
The simplest example is sex tourists: going to a poor country to sexually exploit the locals? Creepy, horrible, and deeply racist.
Stereotyping other races and pursuing them because of a belief in those stereotypes? Racist. White men with Asian girl fetishes? Racist. White women with black guy fetishes? Racist. Non-whites who prefer whites because of the perceived wealth and/or privilege of white people? Racist.
I disapprove of all of those things because they’re racist. Racism is the belief in stereotypes about other races; that people of other races are intrinsically different to one’s own. It doesn’t matter whether you want to lynch to other race or to shag them; racism is never “positive”.
It’s certainly possible to have interracial relationships that aren’t based on stereotyping and racist beliefs, but people who imagine that shagging people of a different race is always the opposite of racism are extremely naive.
What if they’re a Scientologist?
I do not put religion in the same category as race. There is nothing unjust about judging people by their opinions and their actions, even if they prefix it with “God says”.
I’m not placing religion in the same category as race. Both are aspects of culture, different aspects. If you know something about that culture (“race” / religion / whatever) and you don’t want to take it on for logical reasons, that’s one thing. If you have a knee-jerk reaction to the group, that’s another. Yes, even Scientologists.
I’m certainly relieved that you leave open the possibility. Is there anything my wife and I can do to demonstrate our credentials to you in this regard? I’d hate for you to carry the impression that our marriage is just like any old presumably racist arrangement.
I agree.
I think the problem is that we automatically equate ‘racist’ with ‘bad’. In cases 2 and 3, I think it’s valid to do that equation, but in case 1 - not so much.
If a person does not want an interracial relationship, that’s pretty much their own concern, and although it’s racist (possibly outrageously and unreasonably racist, depending on the actual criteria at play), it doesn’t really matter, as long as it only affects their own choices.
I’ve been in interracial relationships myself, and I have friends who are in them right now. But do you think attraction is always based on seeing a person’s inner beauty and is never based on idiotic stereotypes, including racism?
Sorry, but I’ve heard/seen/met quite a lot of people who say “I’m only interested in people of x race.” It doesn’t matter if it’s your own race or a different one; it’s a racist attitude.
Having a general “type” is one thing, excluding people because you’re only into one race is something different.
I reserve judgement on what people’s relationships are based on unless I actually know them. But having known some racist stereotyping idiots over the years, I remain open to the possibility that anyone could turn out to be one.
Which begs the question: how do you figure that it’s any of your fucking business?
When I meet a new person I make a judgement of whether I like them or not, just like everyone else does, and it’s entirely my own fucking business, thanks for asking.
I don’t like people who treat people of other races stereotypically, and that covers people who drool over certain races just as much as it does over people who disparage certain races.
If you give me the impression that you see women of x race as automatically “sexier” than average, that to me is a valuable data point for making a judgement on whether you’re someone I’m going to want to get to know better and possibly be friends with.
If you’re just someone who happens to be in an interracial relationship, then fine, good luck to you. I’ve been there, and I’ve heard some quite dodgy remarks about how “lucky” I was to have scored with the sexy exotic chick. Yep, that’s racism. It’s not “round 'em up and send 'em back where they came from” racism, but it’s definitley going to make me think less of you if you say it to me.
here where i’m staying, the east asians just lie through their teeth when confronted with questions #1-#3. excuses:
i find masking one’s racist beliefs a bit cowardly. i’m racist myself in some ways. i just don’t like talking about it too much.
It’s not clear-cut, though, because of the way culture and race are intertwined. If a black person has to constantly explain every collequilism that comes out of her mouth, or worry that her white boyfriend will say something unintentionally offensive/stupid around family (like asking out loud why one set of cousins are darker-skinned than another set), then I can see that being a good reason for having a preference to stay “in the race”. Also, depending on the “mix”, some people may not be cut out for the extra stress involved. Some people aren’t brave enough to cut off all ties from family, and sadly this can be the case if someone decides to cross the interracial boundary.
Racist, no question.
You might as well see if they are having a clearance sale on white sheets at Big Lots.
And I’m not trying to be funny, but how in the hell have Asians had it harder than black Americans? I thought the OP was supposed to extra smart for his age.
So, gentlemen prefer blondes is ok? Or “I’m really attracted to brunettes” is kosher.
Yet “I’m attracted to Asians” is racist. I lived 25 years of practically my entire adult life in Asia, I speak Chinese fluently and Japanese at a basic level. Me dating the locals is racist? Your implication is that dating an American at the exclusion of locals would not be? My Asian attraction is a personal thing, yet I’ve dated other women too.
It’s not black and white like you paint it. I won’t defend the sex tourists but don’t imply that I am one either.
Ah, yes, the myth of the model minority.
My parents have always had that “We’re not racist but we’d prefer you marry a Korean” attitude. They truly believe in equal rights for everyone regardless of race - I think their desire for a Korean son-in-law is a little more complex than outright racism. They want a son-in-law they can communicate effortlessly with and that understands their cultural expectations without needing explanations. But even if my boyfriend had a PhD in Korean Language and Culture I think they’d still be a bit hesitant. They have this deep belief in the essential nature of bloodlines that all Koreans have, which, when it boils right down to it, is a racist belief.
I agree that it’s not black and white by any means, but I think there is a certain type of person that fits his description, and for whom “racial preference” becomes prejudice. It’s a question of degree: the guy who has hard-drives filled with porn of only one particular, “exotic” race, who always mentions when an attractive woman of a particular race comes into his field of view–be it in meatspace or in a movie/tv/whatever, and always mentions her race along with the fact that she’s hot.
For guys like this, it’s like they’ve moved from thinking “all women are meat” and moved up to “[exotic race] women are meat”, and, in some really weird way, they think that makes them more enlightened/open-minded than their peers, so they brag about it. The technical word for these guys is “creeper” and they are best avoided.
But that’s not every man who has a physical attraction towards a certain race, or even an emotional attraction towards a certain culture.
2 and 3 are definitely both racist and stupid.
I don’t think 1 is necessarily racist. People are attracted to different things (I know I’m not attracted to certain physical features). It would be racist to reject someone as a friend for being the “wrong” race, but not as a romantic partner.