[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Chronos *
**
Wow, I can’t believe I’m the first person to bust woolly on this. You are aware that Cecil only does one new column a week, posted to the web on Friday? Monday through Thursday they run either a classic column or a Staff Report.
So the only pertinent observation is that Cecil’s column the previous week on flamingo color was previously presaged by JillGat claiming she was researching the topic and was going to write it for a staff report. And Jill has now answered that.
And Jill, I was going to insert a joke here about you not writing your staff report and saying you must be lazy or something, there’s a reason you were booted from moderating Cecil’s Columns, but then I figured some hack would take my teasing remark, drop the joke, twist it out of context, and throw it back in your face later in one of the various and sundry moderator attacks. And I wouldn’t do that to you. So the joke is officially cancelled. 
dantheman asked:
I thought originally the SDStaff were just for doing Cecil’s grunt work, and the mailbag thing came later?
Yup, far as I know, that’s the case; I’m just saying it seems like the poor staff’s pulling some double-duty, the poor sots… 
Triple duty. Remember, many of us moderate, too. Of course, I’m still relatively new to the job, so I don’t know which came first.
… and aren’t you just the sharpest tool in the shed.
Several dopers, including three mods and an administrator, post in the thread and blow me down if all of us weren’t barking up the wrong gum tree til you saved the day.
[sub]… walks away slowly shaking head, and I was going so well too [/sub]
He might be dead. I tried to lure him out with a thread about him at ATMB, but he never showed.
All I wanted was for him to welcome me to the boards.
::sobs::
Well, I for one am happy to have the flamingo column clarified, because when I saw it, my first reaction was, “Cecil you bastard, you took Jill’s column away from her! Get your own nifty topic, you greedy wordhog!”
So. Cecil’s evidently not a greedy bastard?
And he’s not dead either, 'cause I’ve been sitting here playing the Abbey Road album backwards for a while now, and it only keeps telling me that Paul is dead.
[sub]can’t do that with a CD, kids–vinyl rox 4-ever![/sub]
All you need to do is read Triumph of the Straight Dope backwards. Then you see this hidden message:
“Oh yes,” said C K Dexter Haven. “I buried Cecil. Want a cite?”
Arnold:
I think it’s pretty safe to say that you can only be sure Cecil Adams is dead when you see him on a US Postal stamp.
Dijon:
Yeah, that’s what they said about Elvis…
Sing it with me, now!
“Cecil is everywhere!
Cecil is everything!
Cecil is everyone!
Cecil is still the king!”
Actually, as a slight hijack…
I’m officially “Cecil agnostic.” I don’t know if Cecil actually exists, and I’m not sure I care. As long as someone
keeps writing columns, I’m happy. Whether it’s really the world’s smartest individual, Cecil Adams, or not, isn’t terribly important to me.
Someone writes, I read. That’s all. It’s all very Zen, or something.
-Ben
ModernRonin2 - if you’re quoting Mojo Nixon/Skid Roper, I can correct you since I was listening to that album in the car just a few days ago. Its
“Elvis is everywhere, Elvis is everything, Elvis is everybody, Elvis is still the King!” Though why Mojo and Skid picked on Michael J. Fox for being the evil anti-Elvis is still a puzzle for me.
Originally posted by woolly:
Duh, that’s why I said I can’t believe I was the first to mention it.
Or perhaps you can explain why you refer to a column dated 06 September <b>1996</b>, and one dated 11 September <b>1998</b>, as if they were the latest columns off the Cecil mill.
[[And Jill, I was going to insert a joke here about you not writing your staff report and saying you must be lazy or something,…]]
…yeah, and here I’ve written about 90 staff reports. Bout time Cecil took the load off…
You were using the wrong bait. Try cash. Used, unmarked twenties work well.
Luring him out is not an easy task Mercutio and not without its risks if money is not involved. He posted seven times in Why the lame columns lately?, stopping at one point to request other posters stretch my anus for me.
picmr, I’ve got nothing to add, but just couldn’t allow such a tawdry episode against your goodself to be a threadkiller.
Now this is a shock!
They tell me Cecil is dead.
I never knew that he was alive.
I don’t know if Cecil is alive or dead, but I know he used to be an electrician’s apprentice. (Read the final paragraph.)
::leaves a breifcase marked with “TO: Cecil Adams” filled with unmarked twenties in the Chicago Reader mailroom::
Nice find! You know what would be a great project for some altruistic (and completely bored) Doper would be to go through all of the archives and see how much we can find out about the Great Exalted One. Would make some great reading!
[Of course, it might also allow us to catch him in a misstatement!]
Sure you can; just dump it to a .wav and reverse it with a basic sound editing program.