Is cleaning up after a hoarder really that big a deal?

[enipla]

@Yarster

… I guess that would explain why a one month job turns into six months.

It’s a sad situation that you really can’t understand until you deal with it. It really should not take one month to clean out a persons house let alone 6.

My father is a bit of a horder. About 6 years ago, my Wife and I spent 4 days throwing crap out of his house. We rented a 20 yard dumpster. About 2 months later, you couldn’t even tell we where in there. He smokes about 20 cigars a day, and had a sweet dog, that did a lot of it’s duty on the carpet. The house will probably have to be completly gutted to sell. Carpet, drywall, new kitchen and 2 new bathrooms. It’s that bad. There is one chair in the house that can be sat in. Well, one that is not pilled full of crap. I am certainly no violet and have stuck my hand down plenty of toilets but I can’t stand to be in the place.

Oh, and the back yard has to be completely ripped and replaced too. Gonna need a BobCat. It ain’t an easy job.

That’s just the start. Not sure if my Dad has any hidden money. He might since he bought into the whole Y2K end of the world stuff. He has a bunch of survivelist food, and I think there is a missing revolver. He may have hidden it and can’t find it. Don’t know. My Dad would never leave it in conditon one, but I will mention to my Wife to keep a look out for hidden guns.

It’s gonna be rough.

[Frank]

@Paul_in_Qatar

As for myself, I live a nomadic life, ejecting nouns out every time I move.

Yeah, I’ve spent my entire life moving every two or three years, and it’s a very good way to weed out the ephemera.

Hoarding doesn’t seem to run in my family. In fact, my parents were at one point on a mission to get rid of stuff, a mission in which they were perhaps too successfull. And I’ve abandoned everything that wouldn’t fit in a backpack or car (depending on my stage of life) more than once. Perhaps I have whatever disorder is the opposite of hoarding!

[PunditLisa]

My dad bought a house from a hoarder. It took him 6 months and 6 dumpsters to clean it out, de-bug it, and rehab it.

The profit he made on that house wasn’t worth the nightmares we had from witnessing how many cockroaches he cohabitated with all those years.

Brrr!

[Dangerosa]

@Kolga

And sometimes, the survivors themselves have hoarding tendencies, since there does seem to be a genetic component, as well as a learned/environmental component, to the disorder. That makes it more likely that those people would have the same difficulties.

I also seems that sometimes the survivors have survivor guilt - so when they go in to clean up, they aren’t only dealing with “mom’s crap” - they are dealing with “mom - who I only saw a few times a year because I couldn’t deal with her illness any longer and now she is gone and the only thing I have left is the result of her illness, and these are the things she loved.”

[rocking_chair]

@BMalion

I guess the poetic beauty of the dead cat and the innate harmony of the fecal matter escapes me. What a clod I must be.

perhaps you could compose an ode?

mr walsh of clean sweep fame says that there are 2 types of clutter. memory/sentimental and someday i’ll need it. this works for cluttered types.

hoarders are completely different there is much more going on there.

[BMalion]

@rocking_chair

perhaps you could compose an ode?

mr walsh of clean sweep fame says that there are 2 types of clutter. memory/sentimental and someday i’ll need it. this works for cluttered types.

hoarders are completely different there is much more going on there.

If only the problem was just clutter.

[xxuviolkd]

@Kevbo

If the guy taking six months to clean is the next of kin, then there is a chance that he never learned how to clean. “What’s the big deal?” you ask. Same big deal that keeps people morbidly obese when everyone knows they “just” need to eat less. It is not the physical act of cleaning they can’t manage, it is the mental discipline needed to keep at for more than 10 minutes at a time without giving in to either panic or hopelessness.

He was not taught how to prioritize or clean.

-Sidney

[xxuviolkd]

@Yarster

So am I to understand that the real problem is that you are cleaning out your dead mother’s house o’ crap with the best of intentions, but only manage to get half a garbage bag filled before you find an old photo album and stop to look at it for five hours?

This is the exact problem, Yarster.

-Sidney

[xxuviolkd]

@Yarster

I’m not saying the hoard has to be tackled the day of the funeral, as any reasonable person needs time to grieve, but seriously, SIX MONTHS?

We’re on month nine, now. Sigh.

-Sidney

[kiz]

@xxuviolkd

We’re on month nine, now. Sigh.

-Sidney

We’re on year two. Between my mother’s stuff and my husband’s, I have no choice but to pick through everything with a fine tooth comb. It’s excruciating.

[Lemur866]

@rachelellogram

And where I live now we have to tag our garbage bags, so I can’t just throw out small bags of garbage whenever I want to. I can’t clean out my car because the homeowner I rent from would be angry at having to pay for a bag of trash coming out of nowhere (which psychologically is a huge demotivator for me to clean it).

How about if you fill a small bag with trash every day, and toss it in a convenient public trashcan on the way to work?

[xxuviolkd]

@Yarster

Can it be assumed that these hoarders, and the people who seem unable to clean up after them in an efficient way are unable to hold down real jobs either? Cleaning a house is just another task, and I would think it would be easy to disconnect yourself from it. Like anyone else, I can find an emotional attachment to an object, but those objects are very few and far between.

Nope. Greg has worked at the same company for than fifteen years, and is a trusted working foreman (until he took leave in May). I have never been at a place of employment for fewer than five years at a time.

Greg is having difficulties with this task that I would not have. He is a bit wrapped around the axle and has stalled.

[xxuviolkd]

These comments, shared experiences, perspectives and stories are SPLENDID! I hope I can get Greg to read them. And that they might reach him. Thank you.

-Sidney

[Trubie]

@Lacunae_Matata

My uncle is a hoarder, in poor health, and my mother is his heir. When the day comes that she has to clear out that mess, Mom faces 5 acres, with a house, two mobile homes, two barns, a travel trailer, a couple of transport trailers, and numerous cars/trucks/vans crammed to the brim with STUFF. Included in that stuff are things like

Family photos.
About 10 rolls of uncirculated quarters from each state and territory issue (i.e. $100 x 50+)
Who knows how many other “collectible” coins.
Several collectible/valuable hand- and long guns.
Jewelry that belonged to his first wife, and needs to be sent to her oldest daughter.
And so forth.

There’s just enough good stuff salted throughout the Superfund site that we’ll have to sort through it. I can easily see it taking 6 months or more. (And I say that “we” will have to go through it, because my mother isn’t really in the best physical condition, so my brother and I will have to do most of the grunt work.)

I’m not looking forward to this ordeal, but Mom will insist it must be done, and done “right.” (In the unlikely event that Uncle J outlives my mom? Bro and I have agreed that he’ll bring the marshmallows if I bring the hot dogs for the bonfire!)

None of my business, but why are your family his heirs when he has living children?

[Aestivalis]

@Trubie

None of my business, but why are your family his heirs when he has living children?

If I had to guess, his first wife’s daughter is not his daughter?

[flatlined]

My hoarder friend just got arrested. Again. I had to take 2 days off work to deal with his house. He will likely get all upset at me when I bring him home tomorrow. I threw out his empty dog food bags. There was a stack as tall as me in a corner. I also tossed his stacks of cat litter bins. I love Tony. He’s my best friend. He has no impulse control, so the only time I get the chance to clean his home is when he’s in jail.

His bags and plastic and boxes are all clean and dusted and sorted by kind.

[Rilchiam]

…Oh, so he got arrested for something unrelated to the condition of his house. I was thinking of Hoarders at first, where quite a few of the subjects are facing jail if they don’t get the house in shape.

[EvilTOJ]

My mom and uncle are dealing with my grandparents crap right now. Last year they said they’d show up with a trailer to take crap to the dump, and crap to be saved as heirlooms. At first they were highly enthused, but once they started digging my grandpa wouldn’t let anything go. They finally had to get them moved out into this awesome retirement home so they could start digging through the junk unmolested. My grandpa seems to think he’s still a young man and he’ll use all the stuff again, but he’s 89 years old.

[Yarster]

This seems to be a common theme. You will never make any progress cleaning up after a hoarder if:

1. You are a hoarder yourself or are emotionally attached to the materials that need to be cleaned up, or…

2. Someone else who is emotionally attached to the materials is still around and is actively standing in the way of the cleanup, or…

3. You cannot divorce yourself from the idea that there are things of value hidden in the hoard that are ultimately of less value than the final product of a clean house, causing you to clean at a snail’s pace and having the project take over your life.

In my opinion, all of these are non-issues, but clearly they are all significant based on these responses, so I guess the answer to my original question is “yes”, cleaning up after a hoarder can be a big deal…

[filmore]

@flatlined

My hoarder friend just got arrested. Again. I had to take 2 days off work to deal with his house. He will likely get all upset at me when I bring him home tomorrow. I threw out his empty dog food bags. There was a stack as tall as me in a corner. I also tossed his stacks of cat litter bins. I love Tony. He’s my best friend. He has no impulse control, so the only time I get the chance to clean his home is when he’s in jail.

His bags and plastic and boxes are all clean and dusted and sorted by kind.

I know you mean well, but I don’t know if you should do this. From the outside it’s crazy, but horders often have strong, emotional attachment to their items even if it’s just garbage. If he’s upset, you probably should leave it alone. It would be as if he came to your house and threw away photographs he thought you didn’t need. Even though it’s garbage to you, it may have meaning to him.