I received a warning for the portion of the post quoted at this link.
Personally I consider that a colorful use of language but if that is not permitted, might I suggest additional guidelines be provided.
I think it’s clear from the context that no sexual intent was being implied on the part of the person I was responding to.
Additionally, since it was a single comment, it’s hard for me to imagine how it could be considered flaming or trolling or anything else.
I would hope that I can tell someone not to put words in my mouth. The additional comment was clearly meant to be humorous and not any sort of slight or attack.
If you review my history you will see that I have taken past advice and the one other warning I have received seriously and made good faith attempts to modify my behavior accordingly. However this directly impedes my natural mode of self-expression.
While I’m fully capable of writing in a manner that is devoid of slang and what I would consider ‘color,’ I would hope that I would be allowed to write in a way that is a bit more colorful.
It’s far from clear to me. I’d call making an insinuation that another poster wants you to fellate him to be inflammatory. Making a presumption about someone’s sexual preferences does seem insulting to me and has no place in a debate. I agree with Jonathan. It was a gratuitous comment that had no place in the discussion.
The problem with that argument is that I said nothing else that would indicate that was my intent. From the context, I think it was obvious it was an offhanded joke. Gratuitous yes, but that tends to be the nature of such comments.
Offhanded and offensive. Of course you can ask people not to put words in your mouth, but bringing one’s sexual organs into the discussion is crossing the “do not be a jerk” line, IMO. Of course, a certain level of joking should be tolerated, but there should also be standards of civility to be observed in GD, too. And I realize I am not a mod, but you seemed to be asking for opinions from everyone in general.
Actually, I thought this part of the forum for getting input from mods. Anyway, since they issue warnings, it is their guidance I need.
I’m sure there are a great many things that people can and do find offensive, but I was not aware that mere offensiveness warranted a warning.
Further, I don’t think I was being a jerk by saying that especially if you read the sentence that followed it which clearly indicated the humorous nature of the comment. Maybe a lot of people wouldn’t think it was amusing and might find it offensive, but then how is anyone to know what can and can’t be said if they want to write freely?
This is after all a message board. I write on the fly and if a funny turn of phrase comes to me I tend to use it. Obviously I filter myself but the degree of filtering required by a warning such as this means that I can no longer freely express myself. I don’t think that’s what this place is or should be about.
Your mileage may vary. I wouldn’t dream of making a comment like that outside of the Pit. And yes, I realize this forum is for getting input from the mods and admins, but others are free to put in their 2¢. I understand if you give more weight to opinions from actual moderators, but I don’t consider a warning for your comment to be restricting your freedom of expression. As for knowing what can and can’t be said, you should consider the forum you’re in. Discussion in GD should be civil. On the other hand, you don’t have to be civil in the Pit. Again, just my personal opinion, which you are free to disregard.
Only mods can see your ‘infractions’. Unless you post a link to your other warning, the rest of us are unable to evaluate the claim you make in this paragraph.
That’s fine since I’m posting this here to get moderator comment on this warning. I am interested in seeing if this warning represents the consensus of mods and if so, what their recommendations are for how I should curtail my expression in the future.
If you’re only interested in mod opinions the the better tack would be to report your post in the other thread, or the warning itself, and ask what you asked in this OP. Or send a PM to the forum mod, with your question. Otherwise you’re going to get a lot of member input.
I don’t see anything there that would prohibit such a comment unless it was made with some sexual overtone directed and the recipient. This obviously has a sexual nature but it’s peripheral and marginal. I wasn’t implying that the recipient would actually want to put his dick in my mouth or get any pleasure from doing so. It was just a baudy comment, nothing more. I don’t see how anyone can argue any differently. Accordingly, the only rule it even conceivably comes close to doesn’t in any way apply and therefore IMHO the warning was not appropriate in those circumstances.
In the end it boils down to this: it should not be difficult for a poster to express opinions/thoughts without resorting to offensive or inappropriate language.
Your post did fine until the bit about dick-in-mouth. There are uncounted other ways you could have expressed yourself without resorting to crudity. However, you did so and got your hand slapped for it. Hopefully wiser we all move on.
I have no dog in this fight, but as a mod I think the remark was clearly out of line and is something I might have issued a warning for in GQ. In particular, the remark seemed to be directed at other posters in the thread, even if they were not specifically named. I would have taken it to be intended as an insult.
The thing is, you have to understand not only what the remark means to you, but how it may be taken by other posters. I think your perception of your remark is wildly out of sync with how many other people would understand it. If you “don’t see how anyone could argue any differently,” I would strongly advise you to limit your “colorful” remarks in the future, because you may have a problem objectively evaluating the offensiveness of your remarks.
I can’t imagine how you could not see that as inappropriate for GD. I mean, I see your intent with the remark and how it fits as things you don’t want forced into your mouth, but it’s way overkill.
If this seriously hampers your natural expression, then perhaps you should work on that.
Meh. Seems like the intent was something similar to “don’t piss down my neck and tell me it’s raining” to me. A little coarse, but not obviously warnable based on established precedent.
