Anybody know? Anybody willing to tell?
The entire future reputation of the Straight Dope Message Board depends on getting a “Straight” answer!
Yes, he is.
He’s left-handed.
I thought he just had hooks. 
Well, that too.
I have it on good authority (my arse) that he is right-handed. If you joined he and Cecil together, they’d therefore be ambidextrous (yes, we read the column as well).
Yes, DMC obviously correctly understands why I asked! So he understands (and I assume he must agree) why the question is so important!
And why is that?
You’ll have to deduce the reasoning from this.
Of course, two completely unrelated people can both be left-handed, so I’m not sure what is to be gained by knowing. 
It’s like that episode of Star Trek when they were in the mirror universe, right?
Ok. Thanks for that. I think.
In any case, again, Ed Zotti is left-handed.
Because great minds think alike.
Not only that, but Ed Zotti has two ears (one on each side of his head) and SO DOES CECIL.
Furthermore, he has two eyes, one on each side of the top of his nose, and his mouth is below his nose, JUST LIKE CECIL.
Uncanny.
So, what you’re saying is… Ed Zotti is… an X-Man!
Or great hands.
Okay, so he’s left-hooked.